Chapter 211 - Broken Man

Trick

After the warm bath, I take him home. He hasn't said a word. I have hurt him so badly that he is quiet.

I need to make things right but I don't know how to.

I am too ashamed to even talk to him.

Maybe when he rests through the night, we can talk about this.

I pull up to the house and I take him inside. The rain is clearing up but I still use an umbrella to cover him as he walks inside. He is still quiet. I don't expect to get the Jack I usually do. Right now, he is hurting.

I lead him into the room and he walks over to the bed, Lying down on it immediately. He looks up at me and his eyes bore into mine "Can you stay with me,'' he asks so quietly.

I nod my head immediately and walk over to the bed, going under the covers immediately "I love you Trick; I love you so much,'' he cries as he takes me in his arms.

I feel like shit right now because I hate that I doubted him. I hate that I put him through so much shit just because of my selfishness.

"I know'' I tell him as I caress his head gently. "I know you do. I love you too and I need you to forgive me,'' I beg him and he looks up at me.

"Will you forgive me?'' I ask him again and he nods. "I forgive you. I love you. I love you so much and I wouldn't be able to live without you,'' He says and his voice is breaking.

I kiss him and after a moment, we pull apart. I look into his eyes and he is looking like an angel. "I am sorry I hurt you,'' I tell him and he shakes his head.

"You are not hurting me. I know you didn't mean it. I know you love me and I love you too. I know you were just making sure that you were doing the right thing. I know you are just a little bit protective of me,'' he cries in my arms and this doesn't feel right.

He is not being honest with me and eventually, he will have his breakdown. He is in denial because he doesn't want to lose me. I get that but I can't do anything about that right now because this is all my fault.

I am the one that made him this way.

I threatened to leave him if he didn't leave his job, what did I expect him to do. I know my man and I know the love he has for me, of course, he wouldn't stay at the job.

We have been together for over ten years. That is a long time to throw things away and I wanted to throw our relationship away because of my fucking jealousy.

I hate that I did this. I want to take it all back and I want to make things right but I don't know how to do that right now.

I hold him tightly and he just cries and cries. I cry with him. I am the cause of all this pain and I hate myself so much for this. I stay in his arms until he falls asleep and once, he does, I get up from the bed and walk out of the room. Even sleeping next to him right now is making me feel guilty. I don't deserve to be in the comfort of his arms. I should be punished for my selfishness.

My phone rings as I get into my office. It is Lance.

"Yeah,'' I answer him not even in the mood to have a conversation right now.

"Did you find him?'' he asks me worriedly.

I completely forgot that I was supposed to update him. Everything happened so fast that I didn't even remember.

"Yeah, he was at the gallery,'' I tell him.

The fact that he came to my place of work, immediately after he quit his job just makes me even feel worse. Like, I took the one thing that was important to him away and he let me.

How much more could I hurt him?

"Is he okay?" he asks me.

I let out a loud sigh because I don't even know if he is okay "I feel like shit, I broke my man.'' I tell him honestly because that is what it feels like right now.

"What do you mean?'' he asks me and I exhale loudly.

"I did this to him. I am the cause of all this pain. I threatened to leave him if he didn't quit his job and he did. He loves me that much. I broke the thing that was most important to him and even though he says he is okay right now; I am sure he will have a breakdown soon.'' I cry.

"You are being too hard on yourself, Trick. He could have stayed at the job and you would have stayed in the relationship. I think you are just trying to find a way to blame yourself for this.'' he tells me and I think about his words.

"You know, Lance, you are right. He would have stayed at the job and I would have stayed in the relationship because I love him so much. Why did I have to make him choose?"

"Because you were scared and your fear made you a little selfish."

I know that Lance is just trying to be diplomatic, I already know that this is my fault and I have to make things right.

I will not let him lose the thing he loves the most.

I will not let him resent me because that is what is going to happen if I accept this. I have to give him a chance to be free. I have to give him a chance to be happy and what I just did is take away his happiness and that is not how it is supposed to be when you love someone.

"I will make this right Lance. I promise.''