Chapter 217 - The End Of An Episode

Lance

A couple of hours go by and John arrives. Immediately he walks in through the door, my heart jolts in my chest. "You are here,'' I exclaim with relief. It is not that I didn't believe he was going to come but John is always busy with work. I just thought there would be a delay and it would end up affecting Ford.

Things are great with us but sometimes, I have to take things lightly with him. I have to be calm and controlled in situations that could lead to an episode. Right now, his father showing up would refrain from one.

"Is he good?'' he asks me as he drops his bag on the floor near the door.

I nod because he is still in bed, mom is with Arlo, so I was left waiting for the man of the hour.

"He just thought you wouldn't show up but I am sure he would be fine now that you are here,'' I tell him.

I see the worry in his eyes. John is the one person that did a three-sixty on my expectations. There was a time where I saw him as a monster. The fear Ford had for the man-made me think he was despicable but getting to know him and being a member of his family for more than ten years has shown me how good of a man he is.

I know he loves his son.

I feel it whenever he is around Ford.

He has this aura of protection, care, and love that makes it impossible to think otherwise. Even though he is not here all the time, I know he has an idea about everything that goes on. He is always calling, till now, he still speaks to Ford's doctors. He is the one that even helped us come across this new medication.

"Do you want to go and wake him up?'' he asks me worriedly. 

I know I can't just wake him up, he would come down when he is ready. I usually just let him sleep out whatever he is feeling. I shake my head and tell him, "No, he will come down when he is ready.''

John looks a bit disappointed but he understands. We sit together on the couch; I am in the middle and he is on the side. We are quiet for a while, we don't talk "Can I see the kid?'' he asks even though he doesn't have to. 

I nod and we head upstairs to Arlo's room. The sight I see is heartwarming--my mother on his tiny little bed with him, a book in her hands. I didn't think he would acclimate to her this quick but this makes me overwhelmed with joy. 

"Oh wow,'' I mutter as I walk in. They both look up at me, mom with a wide smile.

"He is a fan of Humpty Dumpty, we have read it about three times already," she tells us, my heart pitter-patters.

She is such a good influence on the little one.

"Oh, you are here,'' she exclaims when she notices her husband. She waves for him to come over and he does that. I slide out of the room and go to mine. It is dark when I walk in and I see Ford sprawled on the bed under the covers. I walk over to the bed and sit at the edge. I can tell that he is awake but sometimes, he doesn't like to be bothered. I just sit there, silent, waiting for him to say something.

"He's here,'' I whisper. 

He shuffles on the bed but remains quiet. Sometimes, I let him wallow in his misery but tonight I kind of want him with his family. I don't want him to sleep and forget that his father came. I want him to feel the love and care his father has extended to him. I reach for the covers and go under with him. He turns around immediately and his eyes meet mine. 

"I don't know why I feel so down, I just feel really tired and sad,'' he confesses. "I know it makes no sense and I don't know why I keep going back to the past and thinking that things will go back to the way they were.'' 

His fears are rational and I don't want to remind him that he is like this because of his bipolar disorder. Yeah, the meds help but sometimes, his emotions are stronger than any medication. No matter how strong it is. 

"It's, fine, he is here now and that is all that matters.'' 

He nods and pulls me closer to his arms. I rest my head on his chest because the fact that he is letting me come close to him tonight is progress. 

Sometimes, he doesn't want to talk to me, and sometimes, he yells, he causes fights and there are times that it is tough. There are times that he has hurt me--unintentionally. Like one time, we had an argument, he threw a glass on the floor and a shard hit my face. 

it is hard but at the end of all those fights and sadness, the moods and the rough patches, I know that we will be okay. I know we will get through it because I love him and he loves me.

It is late when we come out of the room and we go downstairs. His dad is sitting on the couch and he is watching television. He looks up when we come down and he smiles. "Hey, kiddo,'' he greets his son with a warm smile.

Ford smiles back and I know he is okay.

This is not the end of Ford's problems; his illness is not going away. It will never go away but we will get through it together. Just like we have been doing for the past ten years.

"Hey dad,'' he says back.

I come next to them and sit on the floor. "Did you guys have dinner?'' I ask them. 

"No, we were waiting for you,'' his dad tells me.

"I will get everything ready then'' I tell them.

I walk into the kitchen and hear their murmurs. A smile sprawls on my face because I know he is okay again. 

That is all that matters to me.