Chapter 50 - I'm Willing

Noah was glancing at me the whole time but he never say anything. I think he's guessing the situation I am in right now. I feel like the whole world betrayed me. And it feels like I was destroyed inside.

We were driving the whole time and I don't think I care about our destination anymore. I only feel pain right now but being here with Noah makes me want to overcome it all.

"Baby..can you tell me what's on your mind? I'm quite worried.." He said in a sweetest tone.

I know he's worried.. Just by how he glanced at me with those deep stares. He's damn worried and I don't know how to explain this.

I wanna cry, but my eyes suddenly got dry. There's a part in my chest that was aching, it was aching inside me. I wasn't prepared for this. Now that I'm thinking that my family is now a mess. It's broken.

"Baby.."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My heart is sanking and I think I couldn't breathe for this.

Then I heard something on the car and the wind suddenly pressed on my face. It was the breeze of the wind..

The car window opened and Noah did it for me.

I breathe heavily and smiled at the wild that comes to our way. It looks good at night. It was very fascinating to see it.

"My car is convertible but since the whether was quite cold, hope the window will do. I don't want to freeze you," He says while I'm still wandering all the trees that we passed by.

"Noah," I called.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you like me?" I asked.

I just wanted to know since I'm like this.. If he finds out that my family got broke, I don't think he'll still like me just how he likes me now.

"Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?" His voice become serious.

I forced a smile. My parents are both inexpressive at words and actions. I don't even know if they really love each other or what. I just wanna know how is it like when someone tells you why they like you..

"Because I think I should know where I'm good at, which made you grew feelings for me.."

He didn't speak. We can say that I made him shocked. He's a good man and I think he would understand how I'm like this now.

"Well.." He started.

I'm quite nervous for what he's going to say. It's up to how he definds he likes me and I should accept whatever that reason is..

"Because..I'm attracted to you.." He answers. He sounds nervous like what?

He's attracted to me? That's it?

I laugh so hard. Is he really serious? Or he's just sarcastic? I don't know what to think!

"Why are you laughing?" He arch his brow.

"Are you serious?" I can't hide my laugh.

Seriously, Noah. I know that you're attracted to me because you said you like me, but what's this?

A bullshit answer?

He pouted and didn't speak. I wonder if he's offended or what. I just want to make him realize how dull his answer was. I mean, it's understandable right? He likes me because he's attracted to me.

"That's my answer to your question baby. I don't understand why you're laughing now?" He looks clueless.

My eyes fixed on our way. The road was seriously beautiful. I just find them comforting.

"Hey!"

"Yep?" I glanced at him.

The lights on the city was beautiful too..

"Tell me about it," he said.

"About what?"

Is he talking about my family?

He bit his lip, "About why you are laughing?"

I laugh again. Oh wait, seriously. What's happening to me?

"It's because it's damn absurd, Noah!" I smirked.

He stopped. "What?"

"I asked why you like me but you just answered it like because you're attracted to me. Seriously? I know that!" I rolled my eyes.

"Hey--why are you rolling your eyes at me, then?"

I turn my back at him. I wanna feel the beauty of the nature.

Stop being so damn cute Noah.

"You're so noisy!" I snorted.

"Damn it! You're frustrating me baby,"

I chuckled. This simple stupidity of him made me smile and it's amazing because I thought I wouldn't get to smile like this for now.

"You only asked why I like you, you didn't asked what I like about you!" He groans.

My eyes widened at him, "Does that even different?"

"Of course! Why and What are different, Raine.."

"Geez.. You're just making it a complicated one, Noah," I rolled my eyes again.

The car stopped and it just surprised me. I felt like my heart dropped on my foot. Damn it.

"Why did you stopped?" I asked.

My heart still beats so goddamn fast!

I am more surprised when he kissed my forehead. My cheeks burned at that.

What is it for?

His eyes were full of emotions. I feel like he knows what I've been dealing for now. But why he's not asking?

My lips trembled as we stare at each other. All the pain earlier came back. My eyes watered and it's making me damn hurt for this.

Damn this feeling. I hate it.

He put the strand of my hair on my ear as his other hand was supporting my other cheek. His touches feels good. I can't say anything about it..

"I was damn attracted to you because you make my heart pound so freakin' fast everytime you look at me. Your touches are like a fire on me baby, you don't know much it affects every inch of me. And I know, attracted isn't what I only feel towards you now.. I am deeply in love you baby.." He smiles..

He reached for my hand and put it on his face. It feels good, really. This man is making me crazy!

I forget about my problems when I look in his eyes.

"Noah.." I only muttered.

Is it normal to be speechless in this kind of situation? Am I doing the right thing?

"Did that answer you question now?" He asked and I nod.

I blushed when he kissed the tip of my nose.

My feelings are jolting together! Damn it.

"Okay then," He smiles and turn on the engine again.

I feel more okay now, and it's because of this man beside me. The feeling is building up inside me, I can't fake a smile now. I know it's genuine and pure as I give it someone special like him.

I suddenly get that maybe that's why he's not asking me about my problem, is because he's just waiting for me to open up. I'm not a vocal kind of person when it comes to my problems, I don't share to anyone. I prefer to kept it to myself and overcome it with my own way.

But now, I feel comfortable and I have this feeling that I want to share it to him. Though, it's a bit awkward for me because it's my first time to tell my problems to someone. But I'll still try to open up until I find myself comfortable with it.

"Would you find a high place where we could talk while looking at the city lights?" I asked.

"Sure!"

And that's it. We find a place and it's just near from where we are earlier. It's very high but I can see the beautiful city in here.

My mouth parted as I watched it. He parked his car behind us and we're sitting here at the edge of the road. There was a small bench here so this is more comfortable..

"This is more beautiful that I think it was!" My eyes locked on the lights surround it.

"I hope it comforts you.. I don't really know how to. So--"

"You've already comforted me by coming here, Noah.." I admit.

It's true. When I saw him earlier, the thorn inside my chest lessened. And as I watch him smiling at me, different emotions run through me.

"I was broken hearted but you're there saving me for crying so hard.. You made me feel like everything's gonna be fine if I embrace you with my arms.." I smiled.

He stares at me with so much affection in his eyes. I choose to be with him today, not to run from my problems but to breathe and find a comfort in his arms.

And It didn't disappoint me. I'm very thankful that he's here. This is more than enough for me.

"Thank you for being here with me, Noah.." Our eyes met. "You make me fall in love with you over and over that I don't know how to avoid it now.."

He stared at me deeply..

"Why do you have to avoid it if we can face it together?" He asked with those sincere eyes.

I swallowed hard and didn't react. Fuck.

"I told you, I'm not going to run anymore, baby.. 'Cause I prefer to walk with you with a tough road.. I don't mind getting hurt, if that's what will make me be with you.." He smiles. "I don't mind everything, Raine.."

I looked at his lips. I want to kiss him but it's scaring me. I can hear my heartbeats so freakin' loud!

This man is a very brave person, after his long mourns. He was hurt, but he wants to fight again. And I'm the one who's afraid for now. Ironic, isn't? But I'm willing to walk with him by any means.

Even if it will hurt me in end too..

To be continued...