Chapter 54 - Completely Shattered

"Do you like the place?" He asked.

I was kind of hooked by it. My mouth parted as I looked around. Those beautiful palm trees, blue sea, and white sands. Oh god. I must be dreaming..

He brought me to a place where I love the most! I can't contain my happiness. It's just that, I was born here and live here all my life but I've never been in this place.. My parents didn't allow me to go here--I mean, my father.

I'm always a house person before.. I always stay at my room, talking to my dolls and toys as if they would talk back to me.. When I try to persuade my parents to go out and play on the playground, my father don't allow it. He would be mad immediately and hit me on my bottoms.

But now, Noah has granted it. Though, I've been in a lot of places before but not here.. Not this place.

When I grew up, I was engaged to a lot of jobs and didn't had the chance to go to other places here. I'm just too busy before that I almost failed my subjects in school.

"This is so beautiful, Noah!" I can't hide my happiness.

I was miserable right now, but there's this man making impossible things to happen in his favor. No matter how I get those things out of my mind, there's still a way to make me remember it time to time. I can't help but to blame myself for being born this way. But he's here again, for me..

I was down and so damn hurt. And I don't know how to lift myself up anymore..

"Why do you look so sad, then? Shouldn't you look happy instead?" He said in his worried face.

I was completely shattered and those pieces of me cannot be put together that easy. It has a marked, though.

"I'm just happy. Finally, I'm in this place now where I was born.." I smiled.

"Why? You lived here but you don't know about this?"

"My dad didn't want me to go here,"

I wanna tell him as much as I do now. We have the right place and the right time and he's ready to listen to my problems.

I smiled bitterly and sat on the white sand. The sound of the waves were making things go easy for me. It sounds like it serves as my supporter for everything that I'll say. He also did the same, he sat beside me and no words came out of his mouth.

This will be one of the moments that I'll never forget in my whole life. That first time, I shared my problems to someone.. Someone who is so special to me.

"I was 5 before when he started to hit me. I always got bruises on my body, I'm clumsy and my father hits me because of that.."

I remember when I was tripped on the bare road while running before. My father got mad and he carried me inside our house. His face almost burst in anger, he smashed me with his belt on my bottoms and I cried a lot. My mom can't do anything about it since she's always at work. Since part of being a child, I'm afraid to spill it to her. I'm scared of my father.

"And he continues to do that until now?" He asked in irritation.

I'm a bit embarrassed for admitting it but there's no point of dying it now since he already witnessed it before.

I bit my lip and nod. I didn't expect him to react like that.

"But you know, during our family meeting. He told me everything.." My eyes watered for thinking about it.

"H-hey.." He looks at me.

I know he doesn't want me to cry but this is my only way to let go of my pain..

"He told me that I was the one who ruined his life.." I sigh.

His eyes widened. He looks startled and confused. I told him everything from the time when my mother made my father choose between his dreams and me. And for the fact that she used a bit to kill me just to have my father..

I didn't tell him about the divorce thing since it's still undecided. We still haven't talk about it because of that revelations in our family.

"Damn. I don't know what to say.." He shook his head with his fist clenched together.

I wonder what he's thinking..

"You are the victim here, Raine! You're the one who supposed to get angry and not your father!" I know he's mad for knowing it.

I know it, Noah. But people are unfair.. We can't do anything about it..

"I understand how mad he is but.. I'm not the one who did it.. I don't even know that I was used as a bait before and it's such a crazy thing that I was the one who's suffering from my mother's mistake.."

The tears that was blurring my eyes earlier went down. I was totally hurt and I don't know how to stop it. If I could just erase what I've found out, I would erase it right away. But not..

I can't accept that his reason doesn't justify my struggles.. And I can't accept why of all the people, my mother was the reason why I went through those hardship.

I felt his caressed on my arm, this is more comforting now. I felt like I'm not alone anymore.. My head rested on his chest while his arms was wrapt around my back. God. I'm still thankful that I have him.

"I don't understand their reasons also baby.. I don't understand why they have to let you suffer all your life for that stupid mistake. I fucking hate that all your life, you've only received pain instead of their love.." I could hear the sadness in his voice and my tears continues to go down because of that.

"I fucking hate your father for being a jerk and hurt you for those..fucking shit--years! I'm sorry for the curses baby.."

"No, It's okay," I understand how angry he was.

I was angry too. But I'm not that strong enough to fight for what I want now. I want him to apologize for all the pains he had caused me. I want him to realized how bad he is for making me suffer to all of his damn reason.

But I can't ask him that.. He's not the only reason for my pain now but also my mom. To be honest, It is more painful that my mom betrayed me.. That she knows all my her life why my dad is always like that to me, but she didn't tell me about it.

She's not always around when I need her but she's always there to support me for what I'm doing. And that part, I was broken for thinking of her mistake and her love for me as my mom.

It's hard. It's really hard that I don't know how to look at her eyes anymore..

"But you know, sometimes we were suffered for a big deal and we are trying to solved it because it's worthy.. But most of the time, we suffer for a thing that doesn't make sense and continues to make us struggle which we don't know how to cope up with it.."

He looked at me eyes and caressed my cheeks. "You know we can't stop the destiny to give us another shit.." He smiles emotionally.

"But the only thing that make sense right now, is that despite all of those hardships.. You don't lose hope and faith in God. There's still someone who will be there for you and accompany you in all those struggles even if you faced it like hell.." I chuckled.

He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes for that.

"Thank you for telling me everything baby.."

His eyes are now telling me that everything's gonna be fine. That everything doesn't mean it's the ending..

I smiled and pinched his cheek, "You're more dramatic that me, huh?"

He looks surprised and stunned. I wanna laugh for his cuteness.

"You just made my heart pound so fast for giggling like that baby!" His face were blushing.

"I can't help it, you're too cute!"

He clenched his jaw, "I'm not cute,"

Hmm? He's grumpy now, huh?

I smirked and met his eyes, "I take it back now. You are handsome, Noah,"

His face blushed even more and that's too cute for me. I wanna pinched his cheeks again!

He smirked and crashed his lips on mine. I got stilled for what he did. His lips are moving and It feels so soft on me. It taste sweet but it's intoxicating me and I just kissed him back with the same ferocity. Oh god.

He kissed me deeper while his hand holding my cheeks. My heart beats so goddamn fast and I don't know how to stop it.

When he pulled away, those kissable lips let out a seductive smile. I bit my lip as I look at his. Shit! I'm lost again! I was drawn by his kisses!

I breathe in spasm. "Y-you're still courting me but you kissed me?" I tried to sound normal.

But my heart is about to explode now!

He just smirked and hugged me tightly. His smell is really addicting and I can't help but to smell him more..

"I'm still courting you but I will apologize for being attracted to those lips. I am damn addicted to your kisses baby and I don't know how to avoid it. I was damn lost for you.."

I smiled secretly.. Me too Noah.. I am damn lost for you baby..

To be continued..