Chapter 113 - 112: The World That Is Grey.

"Ah, it's been a while."

"It has surely been a while"

Said the certain demi goddess, it surely has been a while since I last saw this woman or goddess, whatever you want to call her. Arianrhod was the name of the demigoddess I was seated in front of, the same demi-god that I met after dying.

I was seated under a cherry maple in her dimension, it looked like the orange leaves were shedding from the tree, maybe it's autumn season. I don't know how the season works in this dimension, but it surely was an extremely beautiful sight. 

"Unlike last time, this time you came to my dimension willingly. What happened? Started missing me?"

She walked up to me, crouching down she looked at me.

"Actually yes, since it's not every day that you see a loli demi-god."

"I missed you too. you seem to have changed so much.  I am talking about both physical and mental changes, physical you have become one heck of eye candy, but the mental changes are ----."

"You haven't changed a bit, you are still the loli I know. Well, being loli has its own charm."

She elegantly tucked the strand of her cherry pink hair behind her ears, as she drew closer to my ears. She whispered,

"I will let you in on a secret, I was a mortal too once, a human female. So I can put the grace of woman into this loli persona."

I drew closer to her ear as I whispered, "I can't deny the grace of ur loli persona."

She let out a chuckle as she said, "You didn't even flinch while I got closer to you. You have gotten bigger, you have matured. It's some changes that I like to see."

She was closer to my face while talking to me, she didn't move a single inch as she spoke to me.

"I haven't matured, I have just more experience than last time."

"Experiencing is maturing."

I laid my head back on the tree as I said in a lower tone, " learning from the experience is maturing, and trust me I haven't matured at all, I haven't learned anything------ at all."

She sat on the ground in front of me, she buried her skirt underneath her kneel so well that I couldn't even get a single glance of what's under her skirt.

Not that I want to look under her skirt.

"You should give yourself more credit since you are trying your best for everyone. Since at the end of the day that's all we can do, we can just try our best."

I couldn't hide the surprise on my face. 

"You do speak things like a god from time to time sometimes."

A smile curved upon her face as she said "well since I am technically a demigod,"

The smile on her face got ever brighter as she said "But I am glad that you find me not very god-like."

"Huh? Why are you so happy about me finding you not so god-like? do you have bad blood with them or what?"

Her expression twisted into the one of Denial as she said "nooo---", but her 'no' didn't sound very much like a 'no'.

"But I think that I do have dislike for gods." 

Oi oi, demi godess in my world 'high dislike' generally means hate. 

As I was thinking that I gave her a bullshit expression.

She later sighed as she gave in, saying "yes, I do hate them."

"Aren't you god yourself?"

"I am, but it wasn't really my choice. If I had a choice I would rather not to and I would have preferred staying human."

A gust of strong wind passed by flipping the goddess's skirt a little bit, revealing minor details of her undergarment.

She quickly tucked her skirt down, as she waited for my answer to continue the conversation.

This loli----- this is her dimension, she is definitely doing it purposefully.

I didn't pay any heed to that as I asked, "your choice?"

She placed her finger over her lips as she winked at me, " this is a secret, but since I trust you so much I will let you in on it."

She didn't have to specify the flimsy part where she said 'since I trust you so much.'

She got closer to me as she said in a whispering tone, " do you know how gods are born or mad or whatever you wanna call it."

I answer with a simple "no".

"Gods are actually born by only two methods, first one is that they are chosen or they just need to attend godhood by their own hard work so that they can be chosen worthy of it."

"What is the ratio of chosen gods to the one who actually earned it."

"There is no one who earned the godhood yet, so yeah ratio is zero to many."

Squinting my eyes I looked at her.

"Then--- you know what, never mind." I took a brief pause before saying " whoever is choosing god is clearly not doing his job right."

"No shit! I was just a spoiled brat who didn't do much in life. Yet for some reason I was chosen to be the god, well I did resist the godhood. That's why I am stuck in this phase where I am neither a god nor a human, just somewhere in between. A semi-god!!!!."

"You mean demi-god and you look awfully proud of that fact."

"Ah, by the way, I want to ask you something." 

Her expression while saying this was serious, not much serious but her facial expression was serious enough to know that she was going to say something serious. 

{Author: Sorry for using too many serious in the same sentence.}

I looked at her, signifying that I was paying attention to what she was going to ask. But she didn't ask her question right away. 

She got up from her seating position, walked closer to me, she sat beside me. Her shoulder was touching mine, but there was a certain warmth and comfort to her body touching to mine that didn't feel sexual, it was just comforting.

"Grey since I have been watching for your fourteen years and I have seen the heavy involvement of gods in your life. what do you think, are gods evil?"

It was a question that I never expected that I would be asked and it was a question that I didn't have the answer to right away. But I said what I felt was right.

"The meaning of god and evil or right and wrong are subjective from person to person, it is different for everyone. Talking about me, for me, gods are evil since ---" 

I took a small pause, before saying, "They are the reason for my mom's death and I can't unsee the thing that they did in the church. That's just evil."

"Oh... I see.... how are they evil?" she asked with an innocent set of eyes. 

"They have killed many many people, that's enough reason for being evil." 

"Is killing evil?"

I got up from my place, as I walked near the shallow lake, "Well, killing particularly is not evil. The purpose of killing dictates that it's evil or not." 

She followed behind me, step by step, "Killing for revenge, is it evil?"

"Revenge is bad,"

"Then is seeking justice bad?" she asked. 

"No," I answered. 

Walking ahead of me, she asked "Killing as the means to save yourself, is it evil?"

"Self-defense is necessary," I answered. 

"Killing caused by gods is kind of self-defense, they are just trying to eliminate any threat to them. So how are they evil?" 

She turned to look at me and she looked rather curious, so curious that I couldn't get mad at her. 

"Defending is an act of protecting yourself when attacked, but what gods did was that they attacked the people that they considered a threat and eliminated them."

She was now walking behind me as she was trying to match my every step with her step in rhythm, "How you as a person are different from god? you killed hobgoblins even before they could attack you, you just killed them since you considered them a threat to humans. How is it any different?" 

After hearing what she asked, I stopped in my tracks. Hearing of what she said, it felt like something had finally clicked in me. It was something that I didn't seem to understand, but I understand now. 

She collapsed to me as I suddenly stopped.

"Ouch!" she fell down on the ground. 

"Now I understand, I understand, it has been bothering me for a while now, but now I finally understand. The world is not about good or bad and right or wrong, the world is much bigger than that, a person's action is led by many reasons and intentions, rather than is good and evil or right and wrong." 

She got up from the ground, as a big smile curved upon her face "That's right, the world is not about good or bad. The world is not as simple as it is white or black, there is a world beyond that, many people fail to recognize that world. Your dad kept your name Grey for a reason. he wanted you to see the world beyond just black and white, he wanted to look at the world from a better perspective.

He wanted you to look at the world that has a mixture of white and black colors in it, he wanted you to look at the world that is grey."