Chapter 148 - A Painful Teaching Pt.1

Realistically, she was in no place to support two other little children when it was already hard for her. She herself was a child and could no more than grab a couple of things for her to sustain herself. The amount of food and water she was able to collect at that age was barely enough for her. Age wise she was around seven but her body resembled someone younger due to the harsh climate of the streets. 

Her personality was also very jaded at the time, even if these kids looked innocent who was to stay they would not stab her in the back when her usefulness was done? One of her first memories of being on the streets included someone dying in front of her. The memory was always a dark mark in her life, it felt ominous and almost as if it was a god given warning to her about what was to come. 

It was late winter and she was in a corner trying to grab as much heat from the restaurant behind her as possible. There was a bin with a small flame on it that an older man sat in front of. She did not get closer to him because she was afraid but they both knew of each other's presence. The flame set up was a common set up during winter for the homeless, at the time shelters weren't really developed so people had to find creative ways to make it past. 

She did not know who threw her onto these streets but one thing she was grateful was them leaving her in slightly thicker clothes. So while her body was very cold it was not to the point of her dying immediately. The coat while run down looked like a winter coat and did its best at protecting her frail body. Her stomach grumbled but she ignored the pang of hunger and focused on moving her feet. Keeping the body active was her only way to prevent her body from clamping up and succ.u.mbing to the weather. 

In the middle of her repeating a leg lift she heard a gruff voice speak out to her. 

"How old are you kid?" 

Her eyes widened in alarm from the sudden conversation, she was not expecting him to say anything. Matter of fact, the silence is what kept her comforted and she felt safe knowing an a.d.u.l.t was nearby. As a child she unconsciously looked for places where there were other a.d.u.l.ts around because of this internal dependence she had. They were always at a distance but seeing them within her range was enough for her. 

The more months she spent there, that dependence slowly whittled down after meeting the 'evil' type of a.d.u.l.ts. Those who had sinister intentions against children and those who wanted to use her as a pity scheme to get money for others. No matter what happened in her life, she never begged for food and that was something she stood by. She may have nothing but there was a still basic dignity she felt like she had to maintain. 

However, at this time with the old man she was still the more naive version of herself. It was her first memory and of course, anything previous to that was blacked out. She wouldn't know if her previous self was any different but she knew at that moment, she was as innocent as possible. 

Her body was still and she looked over at the old man to see if he was looking at her - he wasn't. That calmed her down and she thought he would leave her alone, at least there was no outward harm. 

She was wrong however in assuming this man would leave her alone completely. 

"Where are you parents kid? Did they leave you here?" 

Again he was met with silence from her, in this case she did not know the answer so even if she wanted to she couldn't answer. The only things she remembered clearly was her first name and age, nothing else past that. 

There was another period of silence before she saw something being thrown at her from the corner of her eye. She flinched in response and waited for the item to hit her. Her eyes closed naturally from fear but the impact she expected never happened. There was a thud from a couple inches in front of her where the item landed. 

When she opened her eyes she saw a black plastic bag with random lumps inside. She did not move closer to it and just stared at it in both curiosity and fear. 

"Don't be scared, this old man can't do anything. My old limbs barely work as is. Ah what am I doing saying this to a child. Do you even know what words these are? EAT FOOD BAG SAFE."

She did understand the words he said but what she really took in were the last four. Processing what he said and looking back at the bag in front of her, her eyes lit up in understanding. Scrambling forward she hesitantly reached out to touch the bag. When she felt warmth under little palm and nothing dangerous happened to her, she grabbed it and scrambled back to her original spot. 

Holding the bag in her grasp she stared at the old man to see if he was going to say anything or move any closer. Seeing that he stood stably in front of the fire bin she let her defences down and opened the bag quickly. Inside there were a couple of buns and random bread items. The pain in her stomach intensified as she saw food and the d.e.s.i.r.e to eat rose. 

She munched down the bun as fast as she could, within a blink the bun in her hand disappeared. There was child-like confusion on her face because she could not understand where the bun had gone. Her hand reached out to grab another bun when she hesitated again. When the bag was given to her she did not know how many they wanted her to have. 

Looking back at the old man and the bag, she repeated this motion multiple times. After reaching a decision she picked the bag up and walked over to him. As close as she could possibly be she threw the bag back at him. Her strength was quite weak then so the bag did not go very far, only a couple steps in front of her. There was no difference between throwing or dropping it. 

This action is what finally made the old man turn to look at her properly. With the light from the flame she could see his full face and his voice truly matched his face. He looked mean but for some reason she could that he was a nice old man. Her opinion was probably skewed from the bun she just ate so her favourability for him increased unintentionally. 

"What are you giving me this back for. I already ate, you have the rest. I gave you food to eat, YOU EAT FOOD ME NO WANT."

She was used to his way of speaking now and since she felt more comfortable, she directly pushed the food towards him. This caused her to be within arms reach of him and also feel the warmth of the fire on her body. There was a shudder that ran through her as her body adjusted to the change in temperature. It was so comforting she did not want to move away from it but still forced herself too after passing off the food. 

"STOP, YOU STAY HERE FINE. TAKE FOOD ME NO WANT. Aiya its so hard to speak to children, I don't even know what language you speak. If you don't speak English I probably sound like gibberish to you."

She didn't know the name of the language they were speaking but she understood most of what he was saying. Staying silent she looked at him again before plopping down in her spot. If he let her stay here then she would not reject it. Reaching out for the bag she stole one bun and ran to the other side of the bin and ate it slowly. 

"So you do understand English, eat eat, this old man is fine. Stay next to the warmth, sigh I have been here so many years and have seen so many children. Why do people have children if they do not want them, poor child. Having to deal with this harsh life when you should be protected and celebrated."