Chapter 28

It doesn't matter

what people think

You know

what you did

~Tom Hanks (The Bridge of Spies)

5 months later

Im currently stalking my 2 two maids. Using the lightweight technique that I have just recently mastered, in 1 week might I add, made it fairly easy to hide in the shadows while tracking where they're going.

One of my most trusted hidden guards Ni relayed to me that they're working for a powerful person. It seems that everytine they left my manor they would meet up with a man and then dissapear. Highly suspicious behavior.

Crouching on a rooftop i survey my surroundings. Even if i get caught I dont have to worry because, I have my dimensional space sooo yolo.

These past few years I have grown alot not just cultivation-wise but physically also. I look like a 4 year old child but I'm actually 2. Still haven't figured out if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Like what if when i turn 30 I look like a 69 year old. Shudders just the thought of it terrifies me.

I come to a halt. The shadow guard appears and whispers something into their ears. His face is covered by a black mask so i cant see his appearance clearly but the words he uttered were crystal clear.

"You have 3 more months to kill princess Melia, or else." He makes a slitting motion to his neck.

Hmm so someone wants to kill me eh.

AWESOME! Can my life get any better!? Finally a true antagonist has arrived to the scene, and they want me dead. Sniff sniff im not crying honestly.

I take a deep breathe to calm myself down but i think they heard me. The guard looks over in my direction and I freeze into a dead pose, quickly entering my space away from the eagle like eyes.

Inside the space

"Master thank god your here, that grumpy old hag was going to turn me into bird stew. I don't wanna be turned into bird stew master. Woo woo." Jewel like grapes fall out of the steamed bun's eyes and I grab my head. I dont know whether to laugh or cry.

Now that I look closely the little bird isn't in animal form today. I wonder why.

"Master, why else wouldn't I be in bird form. It was to run away from him. Those toothpicks can only take me so far. Woo woo you have to seek justice for me." His glittery eyes look up at me as if I'm his boyfriend and I find myself turning my head away. *shivers* those eyes, too creepy.

I go to look for Min Hao, that's the old man's name. I find him laying in a hammock leisurely under the tree. A bottle of whiskey in one hand and a bong in the other.

"Don't you get tired contaminiating other people's oxygen." I ask exasperatedly. Seriously tho, I do not plan on dying of lung cancer any time soon.

"Don't you get tired of being a waste of space."

Melia: "......"

"If u keep smoking like that all of your soldiers are gonna be shooting blanks."

"Oh please, who am I going to fuċk in this place, the bird."

Baozi: "......... woo woo master I don't wanna be a sėx slave these legs weren't made for rough excercise."

Melia and Min Hao: "......"

"You idiot who wants to fuċk you. I'd rather sleep with the fishes. I heard they have awesome suction power."

"Alright alright thats enough from you two morons." Min Hao rolls his eyes while Baozi limps away his red face filled with aggrievance.

"Why did u try to eat baozi."

"Because he stole my chicken wings."

"Why did he- wait where did u get chicken wings from."

"None of your buisiness."

"Fine then. Baozi! Why did u steal his chicken wings."

"Those chicken wings were my relatives. My cousins twice removed once added removed again married to a cousin who moved away then divorced and re added."

The space: "...."

Im getting too old for this. "Will you just apologize so we can have this matter settled."

"Sorry." Baozi says indiginantly.

"Yh sorry ur cousins tasted so good. Do you have anymore I can ea- shit, I mean meet. "

"Why you-."

"ANYWAY! Min poop I need some more cultivation tips. My maids are conspiring with an outsider to kill me. There cultivation is in the fourth realm and I have bȧrėly reached the Tongxuan refining stage. I need to get stronger."

He takes a long whiff of his bong before speaking. "Go in my ċhėst. You'll see a red book with a mystic shield covering it. Master that and you will be able to defeat them. But be careful, you dont know who there backer is so think wisely.

I nod to express my thanks and scamper away, thoughts on how to begin my reign of terror running wild inside my head.

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"Its beginning darling. And for your sake and mine I hope she wins."

Melia sneezes as a gust of dust enters her nose.

"Damn! Who is still plotting against this grand aunt do you want to die.

See you later alligato