Chapter 2 Snatch the Bride

During nearly twenty years of Shengtian Emperor's reign, the Can Kingdom had no natural disasters and were invincible. Throughout the kingdom, people could be heard cheerfully chatting and laughing as they worked. As a whole, they were grateful for the Emperor's imperial virtue and much admired Dingguo Duke* as well. His distinguished services in battle had protected the country and people which allowed them to thrive. However, there were always some who worried when things were going well.

(*TN: Dingguo Duke: According to my research his title would be the highest ranking of the Dukes and third rank in nobility, assuming those higher ranking than him are royalty)

"Lao Li, where are you going in such a hurry."

"His Royal Highness is snatching someone again. I am going to watch the drama!"

"Which of the royals?"

"The one from the General's House. It will be over soon, come on, hurry or we will miss the drama."

"I wonder which bridegroom will be snatched this time?"

The banter continued as they hurried along, "Don't you pay attention? The bride is the 14th concubine of Squire Wang's eldest son who lives north of the city."

"A concubine? Does His Royal Highness also snatch brides? Isn't he a gay?"

"What do you mean? His Royal Highness is a man after all."

"He is only five. He is a boy, not yet a man!"

"I thought His Royal Highness likes boys. He snatched the husband of the third daughter of Minister Wang last month, and the husband of the eldest daughter of Landlord Zhang this month. Do you mean to say he likes both girls and boys?"

"Of course." One quipped as the other continued, "He is only five years old, and already such a bully! Can you image how he will act when he grows up?"

...

Two grand stone lions stood sentry on either side of the gate leading to the Wang's House. Each stone figure wore red silk flowers tied to the manes, which made them shine and look fierce. The characters representing happiness were cut from pieces of red paper and posted everywhere. Red lanterns lit the estate. It was a sea of red, which made people happy, even though it was far too much red all at once.

The newly wedded couple stood in the hall. The bride wore a veil which obscured her features. The groom wore the traditional red wedding outfit. He was beaming, holding a red flower that was dripping with saliva from his watering mouth. A woman stood beside the groom who kept wiping his mouth for him.

"The first kowtow to the Heaven and Earth..."

"The second kowtow..."

"Bang!"

The bang interrupted suddenly, and everyone turned in shock to see where the noise came from.

A boy of nearly five years entered the hall. With his pretty face and fine clothes, he looked like a fairy boy descending into the world. People couldn't help but admire his good looks. He was followed by ten malicious-looking bodyguards, which intimidated the people.

Squire Wang leaped up and walked as gracefully as his fat body would permit toward the child. He trembled as he spoke, flattering the intruder, "Your Royal Highness, I didn't know you were coming. Please forgive me, it is my son's wedding day today. It would be an honor if you would join us in the celebration. Here, please take a seat."

Squire Wang was wondering though, 'Why does this little devil come? Does he come to snatch the bride? Oh my god!'

The boy turned his head away and spoke disdainfully, "I'm not here for the wedding feast. I'm here for the bride." While he delivered the words, he encouraged himself thinking 'I'm arrogant, very very arrogant!'

Squire Wang was immediately terrified and felt the cold sweat of fear forming. The boy was here to snatch the bride! "His Royal Highness, I beg you to stay your hand. I will bring lavish gifts to the General's House later." He attempted to bribe the authoritative child before him.

"I don't want lavish gifts, only this pretty bride. Men, take her away!" said the boy in a cocky voice.

Squire Wang immediately dropped to his knees and begged: "Please show mercy. My son was born feeble-minded, and it was a challenge finding a wife for him. Please, Your Royal Highness, please spare me. I have only one son."

'A challenge? Your son has had 13 concubines, and you forced yourself them all.' thought the boy.

He waved Squire Wang's fat hands away with a disgusted expression and taunted: "Your retarded son is none of my business. I have a crush on this girl. Take her away!"

Several fierce-looking men stepped forward, grabbed the bride and headed outside. The onlookers standing about outside the gate immediately cleared passage for them. Nobody dared to block the way of His Royal Highness.

"Your Royal Highness, I am begging you please, show mercy. I beg you..."

The boy looked at the man on his knees and spoke viciously: "Why should I?"

Ah?

Squire Wang was stunned.

The boy, looking arrogant, put his hands behind his back and said: "If I stop and release the bride now, I would be utterly mortified. What next, if other people beg me to die, do I have to commit suicide? So no, I'm a man with principles. I said I would snatch the bride, and so I must. It's about principles. Take the bride away!"

Ignoring Squire Wang's begging behind him, the boy walked out of the house with his head held high, shoulders squared and chest out. Th

e onlookers disdainful expressions followed him.

'Humph! What a group of stupid people!' The boy thought to himself.

"I may be young, but I have my reasons for snatching brides! I may be to young to use them right now, but I can save them! Land and property values go up, so do girls!" said the boy, who looked down on those onlookers.

After saying his piece, the boy climbed into a luxury carriage with the help of a servant. A clear tune in child's voice came from the carriage: "I have a machete and a little donkey; I only master the first palm of the Eighteen Dragon Conquering Palms. I fight people if I can beat them, and I run away if I can't beat them..."

The onlookers broke out in discussion over the dramatic events.

"His Royal Highness is so unreasonable. He is only five. What will he do with the bride?"

"That's true. I heard people snatched by him have all disappeared. Nobody has seen them."

"Does he have a hobby?"

"He is a gay! He has snatched several grooms."

"How pitiful Squire Wang is! He has a retarded son, and he went to all the trouble to buy a beautiful bride, only to have her snatched!"

"He bullied and oppressed the poor people. He deserves it!"

"That's true. I heard Squire Wang had a hobby. That he regularly visits the thirteen concubines of his son's."

"His Royal Highness said girls' values went up. What do you think that meant?"

...

In the General's House, Yun Yajun was sitting in the hall, staring at the gate furiously. All the servants of the house stayed far from him and dared not to even replace his cold tea. The only one brave enough was a beautiful woman aged above twenty who stood at his side looking worried.

When Yun Canglan went through the gate of the General's House with his bodyguards and the bride, he immediately felt the change in atmosphere.

The steward greeted him smiling and said, "Young Master, His Lordship asked you to meet him in the hall."

The faces of the bodyguards behind Yun Canglan turned grey. They ran away immediately before Yun Canglan said anything to any of them.

Yun Canglan puckered his mouth and said: "You men are so disloyal! I won't take you out next time." When he turned around, his expression changed, and he added in earnest seriousness, "Steward Yun, I'm not feeling well in the stomach. Could you please tell dad that I'm going to the rest room."

"Young Master, His Lordship said if you went to the rest room, I was to lock the door." Steward Yun finished.

Yun Canglan rolled his eyes and had an idea: "Steward Yun, I bumped my head a moment ago. Ouch! That hurts! I've lost my memory! Steward Yun, who are you? Who am I? Where am I?"

Steward Yun raised his eyebrow and said: "Young Master, His Lordship said if you pretended that you lost your memory, I must bump your head myself. As he has heard it would help you restore your memory."

Damn it! "Steward Yun, I suddenly remember that Liuyun is looking for me. I must hurry up. The Crown Prince is not a man to be trifled with and kept waiting. I can't be late."

Steward Yun stretched out his arm effectively blocking the boy's way: "Young Master, His Lordship said the Crown Prince would meet you in the hall of our house."

In the hall? That was a trap! He was not that stupid!

"Steward Yun, I..."

Steward Yun kept his poker face and said: "Young Master, stop your excuses! His Lordship has offered you three options: first, walk in by yourself; second, I tie you up and take you there; third, I take a broom and sweep you there."

Damn it! What was the difference?

Yun Canglan looked about him, considering the option of running away.

"Stop. You're such a wicked son!", said Yun Yajun in a furious expression, who ran out from the hall and stood in front of Yun Canglan like a statue, "His Majesty has sent a servant to retrieve you."

Yun Canglan put his hands behind his back, lowered his head and dared not look at his irate father. He drew circles on the ground with one foot and murmured: "It is rather unexpected that the fat squire knows His Majesty somehow. How dare him tell on me. I curse him!"

"Raise your head and answer me!" shouted Yun Yajun.

"Yajun, don't be mad. Calm down!" Lin Wan'er immediately comforted her husband and winked at Yun Canglan, to silently ask him not to irritate his father any further.

Yun Canglan raised his head discontentedly, a stubborn look on his delicate face, and refuted: "That fat squire snatched a girl and forced her to marry his retarded son. I did it to enforce justice on behalf of Heaven!"

"What? You brat! How dare you snatch a bride again. Do you know how many brides and grooms you have snatched? Are you trying to provoke me on purpose? I'll beat you to death!" Yun Yajun took the weapon of a soldier beside him and cut towards Yun Canglan.

Yun Canglan immediately hid himself among the servants, and those malicious-looking servants were enjoying this drama. This scene would be put on stage every few days, until they bore with it.

"Steward Yun, help! Mom, help! Huan'er, help!" shouted Yun Canglan, who was hiding from his dad. Yun Yajun was a man of great strength, and it would be hurt if he was hit.

"You brat, how dare you hide. I'll beat you to death!" shouted Yun Yajun. He was a general, and was able to find Yun Canglan no matter where he hid.