Chapter 20 The Biggest Idiot in the World

"Hmm, I think today we'll study some rhymes, " the Grand Tutor waved the ruler like a conductor's baton, "In verses, ditties, odes, and songs, words that sound alike will be used in some sentences to make them melodic and tuneful. For example, the scent of lotus flowers on twisted banks; under a full moon, lay a misted pond's quay. If the autumn winds sweep the flowers early; my hope is you still enjoy the sweet bouquet. For this stanza, we have rhymed quay with bouquet. Are there any questions?"

The Grand Tutor rapped on the desk with his ruler while barking orders, "Yun Canglan, it's your first day here. I'll give you a test to see whether you are of literary talent or not. Make a poem in rhyme. Any topic is acceptable, and you needn't express any great ambitions." He assessed Yun Canglan as he waited, 'I may not be allowed to hit you, but I can embarrass you. This depraved boy is disgusting. It will be as easy as rolling off a log for me, a renowned scholar, to make it hot for this wimpy kid.'

When Yun Canglan stood up with great aplomb, the royal school resounded with his clear voice. His bright eyes revealed his innocence and naivety, and he was so handsome that all felt kindly regard for him.

"Before the bed the moonlight glitters; while on the ground two pair of shoes litter."

Hearing this, the Grand Tutor was taken aback, his face became flush and he staggered slightly.

All the students except Yun Canglan stood stunned for a moment before bursting into laughter.

The Grand Tutor made?a loud noise slamming his ruler on the desk, "You stupid motherfucker! How dare you say such obscene words! You are not worth teaching, not worth my time. "

Yun Canglan shrugged complaining, "Grand Tutor, you said any topic is acceptable. Besides I think this verse is a quite artistic piece."

Yun Canglan thought he had a complete description of the scene, the characters and what happened.

"What a load of balderdash! You… You…" The Grand Tutor was too angry to speak fluently.

"I don't agree. His Royal Highness is absolutely right." From outside the room came an euphonious bantering voice. The door opened and Huo Liuyun walked in accompanied by another boy about the same age.

The Crown Prince studied under the Crown Prince's Tutor. There was no doubt that he had no reason to come here for classes and no one had ever seen him there before. For the Crown Prince to come visit on Yun Canglan's first day of class made it obvious that the Crown Prince cared about Yun Canglan.

"My Crown Prince." The Grand Tutor bowed greeting the Crown Prince.

Huo Liuyun nodded at the Grand Tutor in acknowledgement, "Mr. Zhang, this is the third prince of Chi Kingdom. He is traveling through Can Kingdom and wants to see how we teach students."

Mr. Zhang was about to bow when Yan Cangyue stood beside Huo Liuyun holding onto him and with a flourish, "Grand Tutor, you are a saint. You needn't greet me with a salute."

Yan Cangyue glared over at Yun Canglan, "I heard your verse and so did his Crown Prince. I never thought one would know so much about romance at such a young age." He was filled with resentment and ground his teeth when saying romance.

The astute expression in Yun Canglan's eyes flashed and in no time was hidden with a look of innocence. Yun Canglan rushed to Yan Cangyue, smiling lewdly.

"My but you are a handsome boy, and so charming. Please, handsome boy, tell me, how old are you? Do you have a wife or any concubines? Are you engaged to be marri

ed? My name is Yun Canglan; I was born in Can City. My father is Yun Yajun the Dingguo Duke and Huguo General. My mother is Lin Wan'er who was named the most beautiful girl ten years ago. My Grandpa Yun was a general but is retired now. I have never met my grandma Shu Yun however, she was named the most beautiful girl in Jianghu fifty years ago. My grandpa, er...Mother said his rival in love killed him. I am six years old and single. Tell me, handsome boy, do you have any questions? Are your parents lenient? What are your thoughts on homosexuality? Am I your type? You …"

Feeling dizzy and shaking, Mr. Zhang reached to lean against the desk.

'The rumor is true. Yun Canglan is indeed a depraved lecherous idiot. As a renowned scholar, he was at a complete loss. How shameful he is! This is so shameful!'

The disgust flashed in Yan Cangyue's eyes, so fast no one saw it. A wicked and charming smile graced him as he responded, "Great wits have short memories. You don't recognize me, do you?"

Yun Canglan thought carefully, trying to recognize the spiteful yet charming face, "I am sorry, have I flirted with you? Are you the newcomer of Yunyu Brothel? Hmmm, are you the prostitute named Liang who held my thighs while begging me to take you away? Sorry, I am so young I do not remember."

The audiences almost fainted from the overwhelming intrigue unfolding in front of them. If Yun Canglan were too young, how could he have done such incredible things?

Yan Cangyue became skeptical that Yun Canglan said that on purpose. He remembered vividly the Prince of Can Kingdom had introduced him.

'Well, Yun Canglan, you are blacklisted. You'd better pray not being caught by me.'

The third Prince of Chi Kingdom had a reputation as having a bad temper. So Huo Liuyun stepped in to mediate the dispute. He turned to Yan Cangyue, "Please forgive Canglan. He was playing and meant no harm."

Yun Cangla smiled while thinking, 'Oh, but I had been intentional.'

Yan Cangyue resented Yun Canglan but only faced a malicious smile saying: "Young as you are, you can make poems. Why not make a poem about numbers?"

'Yun Canglan is uneducated, I am sure I can find a weakness.' Yan Cangyue considered silently.

Yun Canglan nodded confidently pretending to think while stroking his chin. After a few moments passed, he said in a clear voice, "One brothel, two persons, three o'clock, four feet up, five fingers fumble, slip* into the quilt, seven or eight beats, nine minutes, tender* rape."

(*TN: Slip sounds like six.)

(*TN: Tender sounds like ten.)

Flop! Mr. Zhang lay fainted on the ground foaming at the mouth.

Yun Canglan referred to things that happened in the Wanhong Brothel. Yan Cangyue was angry and forgot his control. He pointed at Yun Canglan regardless of how rude it was.

"You… You… well, you! Yun Canglan. Sooner or later, I will teach you a lesson Yun Canglan! Humph!"

It was said that on the very first day that His Royal Highness attended the royal school, a Grand Tutor fainted and the third Prince of the Chi Kingdom was driven off. It was also said, several Grand Tutors protested to the emperor and refused His Royal Highness entrance to the Royal School after that.

Meanwhile, the obscene verse and pornographic ditty made by the Royal Highness in the royal school became well known across all of Can Kingdom.

His Royal Highness of Huguo General formally referred to as an incompetent, rebellious good-for-nothing, was renamed, "The Biggest Idiot in the World."