Chapter 395

The little Terran immature female held tightly to P'Thok's right foreleg, looking up with wide frightened eyes.

"Mister P'Thok, there were plans I fear," she said. P'Thok tapped his translator. "The Goober Boys kidnapped Baby New Year!"

"The who did what now?" P'Thok asked.

A bright colored paper wrapped package quivered, the lid shot off, sparkles and confetti shot out, and the sides fell down to reveal an infant Terran male wearing a tall cylinderical black hat with a wide brim, a diaper, and a sash that said "HAPPY NEW YEAR" in holographic letters that scrolled around the sash.

"He's the one who rings in the New Year with a bow!" Little Windy-Wu said.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the baby crowed out in a high pitched voice.

P'Thok just shrugged, figuring his translator had given it up, then moved over and picked up the human infant, who held his arms up in eagerness to be picked up.

"Let's get the two of you back to the sled so we can get you both home and to bed," P'Thok said, maneuvering around the flickering fires and the puddles of water.

The elevator gave a cheery ding and P'Thok got into it, surprised when less than a second later the door opened and he found himself on the ground floor again. The Rigellian female was sitting in the red sleigh, waving him over. P'Thok ran through the snow, spraying up a wave on either side of him as he hurried over, and stopped next to the sleigh.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the infant crowed out.

"The children should be home all snug in their beds," he said. "With visions of sugar-plums and ice cream dancing in their heads."

P'Thok tapped his translator again.

"Climb aboard and let us be off," the Rigellian sang/spoke. "We'll get there with nary a sneeze or a cough!"

P'Thok climbed on board, holding tight to the two Terran children.

Windy-Wu gave a large yawn and rubbed her equally large eyes. The infant laughed and clapped his hands with glee as the Rigellian shook the reins and the sleigh suddenly flew over the trees. P'Thok held on as tight as can be, looking around to see what he could see. Through the air they flew as fast as a sparrow, the Hannah Somme SqueeWark keeping the path straight as an arrow.

"Oh Dasher, Oh Dancer, Oh Smasher and Fixins! On Comment, on Stupid, on Ronald and Fitzen! Dash away dash away dash away all!" the Rigellian sang out as P'Thok reached up and held tight to his moomoo carer hat with one bladearm, holding the children close with his hands so they could stay warm.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the baby yelled out.

"To the top of the roof, to the top of the mall, crash away smash away bash away all!" the Rigellian sang. She turned to P'Thok. "Start throwing out the presents for good little girls and boys, we have much to deliver, all presents and toys."

"Um, OK," P'Thok turned and looked at the back of the sleigh. He chittered in anxious shock when he saw there were miniature humans with huge eyes and pointed ears and beards all attaching balloons to the brightly wrapped gifts. He was handed one and curious, he tossed it up. The balloon caught the wind and flew away, dancing on the winter wind, beeping a tune as it made it way.

P'Thok kept tossing balloon lifted presents out the back, even as Windy-Wu covered herself and the wide-eyed infant with a red blanket with white fuzzy trim. They flew into the night, setting presents aloft to go where they may, the Rigellian, the Treana'ad, the immature human and the tiny baby.

We Will Return Right After These Messages!

CYBERNETIC ORGANISM CONSENSUS

You aren't going to have a stroke, are you?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

I don't think so.

Wow. When I realized I could order a dehydrated moomoo farm everything kind of gets hazy.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

Man, BobCo had you guys hooked, didn't they?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

BIOLOGICAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

Like you have any room to talk.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

I was never that bad.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Less than a dozen words.

"BobCo Full eVR Twenty Flags Self-Learning Procedurally Generated Amusement Park"

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

WHERE?

IT'S MINE!

I SAW IT FIRST!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

ALL> LAUGH

DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

OK, fair point.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL

Wait, they have an entire section of their merchandise store entirely devoted to amphibians and amphibious reptiles?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Yup.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL

Well, since they never met us I doubt they'll have anything we'd be interested in. These are probably tailored specifically to you...

Is that a self-installing seasonally adaptive micro-ecology relaxation pool with a water fall and real plants? Wow! Bio-luminescent fish! Hypo-allergenic pollywogs and musical singing frogs! Glittersand? Wow! That looks amazing? Holy crap, only three easy payments?

OH MY GOD THEY'RE STILL IN STOCK!

MY ORDER WENT THROUGH FOR WORMHOLE DELIVERY! IT'LL BE HERE IN ONLY A FEW HOURS!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

LOL Owned

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

We now return you to our scheduled program, brought to you by Dolly Parton-Madison Cupcakes and Children's Books in partnership with Mi'Luki Genuine Moo-Moo Milk Ice Cream!

P'Thok tossed the last present out and leaned back. His arms and shoulders, even his bladearm shoulders, were aching with the effort, but at last the back of the sleight was empty, only a sleeping miniature human curled up under and empty bag made of red cloth with white fuzz.

"It's almost midnight, Mister P'Thok," Windy-Wu yawned. "We have to get Baby New Year home and beat the clock."

The Rigellian female nodded, snapping the reins, and P'Thok felt himself pushed back by the sudden accelleration. His chitin began to ripple and flap like rubber as the wind whipped by and the stars blurred, undergoing color-shift due to the speed.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the baby yelled out again. P'Thok looked at it, shaking his head and wondering if all Terran infants were so loud.

The sleigh slowed down, descending rapidly, to splash into the snow, coming to a stop, the reindeer standing relaxed and placidly.

"We're here," Windy-Wu said, pointing at a brightly lit shack. "They're there."

The snow exploded next to P'Thok and a furry green creature, lean and evil, with glowing yellow eyes, popped out of the snow.

"I'M EVERYWHERE!" it roared.

"IT'S THE GRUNCH!" cried out SqeeWark, putting her forearm to her forehead and collapsing back in a near faint, her oiled muscles rippling in the light from the cabin as her eyelashes fluttered in a near faint.

"You can run near and far," the Grunch said, capering about in the snow, "I'll stick with you like shoes and tar."

"How many times do I have to kill this thing?" P'Thok asked, pulling out his pistol and firing five times, since four didn't seem to work.

"It can only be defeated if we sing!" Windy-Wu warned.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the infant repeated, hitting P'Thok on the side of the head with a rattle.

P'Thok jumped out, chasing after the green thing as it capered through the snow, diving into large drifts only to peek around a tree meters and make faces at P'Thok. The plasma pistols fired sparkles and sparklers, quarkers and barklers, spinners and grinners, and whirring plasmaglobers.

Windy-Wu and Hannah Somme began to sing as P'Thok chased it. Once the Grunch threw down a dark circle at its feet, jumping in and vanishing, only to reappear on the other side of the clearing, leering at P'Thok from behind a tree. P'Thok followed and dropped into a snowbank, managing to pop off a shot at the Grunch that hit it in the buttocks, making it screech and run around in circles, trying to put out the fur that had caught on fire.

As P'Thok struggled out of the snowdrift the Grunch put its buttocks in the snow, a cloud of garlic smelling steam billowing up. By the time P'Thok got over to the cloud, the Grunch was gone. P'Thok came around the corner and the Grunch was holding up a picture frame.

"Wait, P'Thok, you should see how you look," the Grunch said, holding up the picture frame in front of his own face. "You should see yourself like the children I took!"

P'Thok frowned, moving closer, wondering why the Grunch was holding up an empty picture frame in front of his own face.

Before P'Thok could ask a question the Grunch punched him in the face, making stars and tweeting birds appear over P'Thok's head. The Grunch gave a laugh and dove into the snow, reappearing on the roof where he capered and danced doncha know?

"Mister Grunch, there's a gift left!" Windy-Wu called, holding up the almost empty bag.

The Grunch stopped dancing and moved slowly up to the sleigh. P'Thok leaned against the tree gasping and wishing he hadn't skipped leg day.

Windy-Wu pulled out a gift, giving it to the Grunch, who was only used to other people's half eaten thrown away lunch. He unwrapped it, his face all sour, he expected nothing, his Christmas was dour.

A sparkling orange did appear, held aloft by the Grinch, who'd been naughty all year. A small gift it was, but chosen with care, by Windy-Wu, and Baby New Year.

The Grunch felt his heart swell three times right there, he grabbed Windy-Wu while P'Thok stood and stared.

"I no longer feel bad, I feel only good," the Grunch exclaimed, as P'Thok aimed his pistol at the back of his head.

P'Thok pulled the trigger, expecting a plasma shot, but got only a jaunty tune instead.

'And you, P'Thok, who discovered ice cream so yummy," the Grunch said, cartwheeling and somersaulting to where the Treana'ad stood. "I have for you something for your tummy."

It was a mug of hot chocolate, a warm drink for the cold. The Grunch gave it to P'Thok for the warrior to hold.

The door of the cabin opened wide and a woman waved them inside. P'Thok followed them all, wondering what was next with a sigh.

The cabin was cheery, decorated and warm, with cookies and moomoo milk and ice cream galore. The Grunch cut the roast beast, Windy-Wu yawned and began to snore.

At the stroke of midnight baby New Year laughed and sparkles filled the air.

"Wait, there's one gift left to give," called out Hannah Somme. "Mister P'Thok, I checked the tag, it's for you."

P'Thok turned and looked, wondering who had left him a gift, question marks appearing over his head.

It was a shining glittering ball, swirling stars and dancing specks.

"Take it, P'Thok," Windy-Wu yawned. "It's made just for you."

"You should have a Happy New Year too," said the Grunch, smiling with yellow teeth.

P'Thok touched the ball and everything whirled.

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" cried out his new friends.

With a flash P'Thok appeared back in deep space. His helmet and spacesuit back in their place. He turned around slowly, looking around, but no trace of Windy-Wu or the Grunch did he found.

He saw his own ship, the crew waiting with fear, but P'Thok wasn't afraid, his ship was quite near.

Using thrusters that jingled out a tune while the flames were different hued, P'Thok made his way back to his spaceship to the relief of the crew.

Once aboard the ship, P'Thok shook his head. Surely what he'd seen had been a dream instead.

But as he took off his helmet from his head fell a clue.

A Santa hat that said it was all true.

>MANTID FREE WORLD CLAPS

TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

SO, did it happen or not?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

It happened and we'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

All right, all right, no need to get excited.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>MANTID SNIFFS AND WIPES A TEAR

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.