Sacrifice – Chapter 2: Adrift in the Void

When Aperio came to she was greeted with darkness. Straining her eyes to look further, she could make out a faint band of light that shimmered like water in the afternoon sun.

Directing her gaze downwards, she noted the lack of blood. Not quite believing her eyes, she let her hand glide over the spot where the wound should have been. Her fingers grazed over old scars but could not find a hint at what she had done to herself just moments before.

While she absent-mindedly touched where the wound should have been, questions filled her head. Is this truly the afterlife? Why is no one else around? What are those lights? Her musings were interrupted as the darkness around her started to come alive. Countless orbs made of blue light faded into existence and slowly started to float towards her.

Her long-dormant self-preservation instinct flared up then, telling her to run away from the lights, but she dismissed the thought quickly. There was no point in running if you were already dead. Instead, she reached out and tried to touch one of the closer orbs. When her fingers brushed against the surface a warm sensation spread throughout her before the orb of light disappeared in a bright flash.

As if her touch was the sign the lights had been waiting, for they started rushing towards her. One after another, they flew into her, each one winking out in a brief flash. Every time a light was extinguished, the warmth within her grew, steadily rising past the point of comfort until it turned into a searing heat that seemed to burn her alive. She needed to scream, desperately so, but no sound came out.

After a while the burning sensation was overpowered by a sharp pain she knew all too well: that of her bones breaking and her muscles tearing apart. Before she could even think to voice a protest she felt her body mend itself, and somehow she knew she was slightly stronger than before. Then she was broken apart again. And again. Not only could she feel the changes taking place within her; she could see her flesh squirming beneath her skin. 

Despite the agony she was in, Aperio watched on in amazement as her muscles became more defined and her scars from years of torture slowly faded into nothing, leaving unblemished pale skin. Unbidden, her hands reached for her ears. She didn't expect them to be in perfect condition as the rest of her now was – the universe surely would not be so kind. Her fingertips, however, found long pointed ears instead of the usual scarred mess. They’re back! 

Her heart soared at the restoration of her once-prized physical features. Take that, stupid Empire!

She didn’t know how much time had passed before she was able to reign in her emotions, and even though her physical self was now the healthiest she had ever seen it, the tiny lights showed no signs of stopping. They continued to sink into her very being, tiny blue flicker after tiny blue flicker offering themselves up to her for reasons she did not understand.

The incessant rhythm of their dance pulled at Aperio's mind, and she lost track of time until she felt something else brewing deep within her. It pulsed and stretched in her upper torso, growing in size as it seemed to struggle to find its proper location inside her body. Suddenly, without warning, her entire back felt as if someone was trying to separate the flesh from her bones. Her current situation overlapped with horrific memories, and with their resurgence, everything except the pain left her world. She had to give voice to it, but though she tried, no sound escaped her lips.

She writhed in agony, her body twisting in all possible ways in a futile attempt to soothe what felt like flames scorching into her shoulder blades. After what seemed like days to her, the pain finally subsided and she could feel something gently brushing against her back. The weirdest part was that she could feel the tickling but, at the same time, knew that whatever was causing it was also part of her. 

She tried to concentrate on this new part of herself, to move it to where she might catch a glimpse, and something unexpected swung into view. Something dark with blue edges. Something... feathered? Barely registering that the tickling on her posterior had ceased, she reached out to make sure that what she was seeing wasn't an illusion and her fingertips grazed over the feathers; they were undoubtedly the smoothest thing she had ever felt in her life. 

Wings! I have wings! 

Soundlessly laughing with delight she swung them out of her face, extending them to their full length – something she guessed to be easily twice that of her own height – and marvelled at her wingspan. With a surprising amount of ease, her new limbs obeyed Aperio's every whim as though they had always been a part of her. She knew, instinctively, that if she were to be in a place that permitted proper flying her wings would carry her.

Aperio took a few moments to run the gamut of wing poses, familiarizing herself with the way that they moved and the way that she had to move with them in order to counterbalance their weight. After coaxing her new limbs into various shapes and configurations, she tried to fold them behind her in an effort to keep them out of her way and they vanished completely. 

They were replaced with a sharp pain under her shoulder-blades and the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was missing; that she was now less complete than before. Displeased with feeling less than whole, she thought of bringing her wings back and was delighted to have her whims obeyed. A few more tests proved that she was, in fact, completely in control of whether or not her new limbs were on display.

She didn’t know how much time had passed – days, weeks, maybe even years – but the steady stream of lights continued floating into her, changing her. She inspected her physical differences, but after having gained a pair of wings it was somewhat underwhelming to notice a more toned body and longer silver hair. 

At least, this is what she could see on the outside. Within her something was struggling to break free. Intrigued, she tried to find the cause of this foreign feeling only to come up empty-handed. 

After she turned the matter over in her mind for a while, on a wild hunch she attempted to do something that she had not been allowed to do for well over a decade. Reaching for her mana pool, she found to her astonishment that there was an endless ocean there instead of the small puddle she had once known. Not that it would make much of a difference at the moment. She knew very little about the usage of mana, as the only spells she had been allowed to learn were all of the chanted variety – the kind that bent the ambient mana to the caster's will in accordance to the incantation. It didn’t matter how much you had at your disposal, a chanted spell would never use more than absolutely necessary.

Reaching out, Aperio tried to draw a tiny drop from the ocean – just to see what it would feel like. 

To her surprise, it obeyed immediately. 

Drawing on what very little she knew about mana, she tried to move the droplet around her body, but to her dismay some sort of invisible dam broke within her. Instead of a drop, a raging torrent coursed through her, flowing seemingly of its own volition. 

She yelped soundlessly, but her initial panic faded quickly as no harm seemed to be coming to her as the result of her actions.

It wasn't long before the torrent started to slow down to a more calm state, bringing with it a sense of tranquillity that she had not known before. In this state of mind, Aperio imagined a candle flame hovering over her hand, and with a push from mental muscles she had never before known to exist she commanded it to be. It worked better than she could ever have thought, as the tiny fire began dancing over her palm, carrying with it no sign of the pain that usually arose from a broken or faulty invocation.

Magic! I can finally use magic! Death seriously is the best thing ever! Some pain in exchange for all of this? How can this not be the best thing ever?!

With a maniacal grin on her face she tossed the small flame between her hands. It burned brighter, grew in size or simply danced across the void; all at her slightest whim. She was in control and it was not, and she revelled in it. A few minutes passed and she returned most of her attention to inspecting her new body. She was not willing to let go of her newfound toy and was pleasantly surprised that it took no effort at all to keep the flame alive and well. 

When she focused her attention to her surroundings she noticed that what she first only saw a band of light in the distance were, in fact, full balls of light that would fit comfortably in the palm of her hand. Curiously, these lights came in all manner of colours – all except blue, like that of the lights that were still floating into her. They made no attempt to come to her, instead, they seemed to be wary and take a big swing around just to avoid being near her.

Once the last of the lights that willingly offered itself to her disappeared and the rush of feelings that came with her ever-changing body ended, she asked herself a question.

Did they fuck up and make me into a god?! The ritual was supposed to ascend the Emperor to godhood and I feel pretty good right now. That would be nice!

With a light giggle that went unheard in the airless void, Aperio tried to move through the dark nothing. Despite the obvious lack of air she felt no discomfort and found that she could even use her wings. 

Flight turned out to be something that became second nature to Aperio shockingly fast. She had no idea about the why, or how. All she knew was that, much like walking, she just wanted to move somewhere and it worked. Her flight might not yet be graceful but it certainly got the job done. Sadly, it also turned out that the pretty little balls of light were farther away than she thought; much farther than she thought that one should be able to see, anyway.

Given that the colourful spheres in the distance were the only things of interest to be seen, she set off towards them. Aperio flew silently through the featureless void and found that her situation had finally calmed down enough for her to take stock of what was going on.

Being sacrificed, brought to a dark void with weird lights floating into me, changing me in ways I didn't think possible ...by all rights, I should be creeped out. And now I’m even rambling about this to myself... okay, that wouldn’t be the first time. But despite all of this, this place makes me feel at peace. Like I belong here. Why? And if I leave, can I ever come back? 

A few other concerns also surfaced from the depths of her mind, like where she would even emerge if she managed to figure out where the exit was. And where could she get new clothes once outside? While Aperio didn’t mind her current state, she was fairly certain that it would be a good idea to get something to wear if you wanted to talk to people. 

Talking to people. That was another thing she wasn’t so sure about. The only people who had ever just talked with her had been other slaves, and she had doubts about her ability to carry her own side of a regular conversation.

All of this would require her to be able to get out in the first place and, maybe more importantly, hinged on the hope that she would return somewhere where the people would not try to enslave her again. 

But, despite all of this, she still wanted to to go back. 

The feeling of belonging somewhere was nice – even if she didn’t quite understand why she felt this way – but spending the rest of her life alone was not appealing. Another point for leaving this place was the obvious lack of food, and while neither hunger nor thirst had been a problem thus far, it wasn’t impossible for them to show up uninvited and ruin everything.

She didn’t know how long she flew while arguing with herself about her feelings, but it came to an end as she reached a veritable river of lights that slowly flowed past her. As she looked down the river she had to revise one of her previous thoughts; the lights didn’t deliberately avoid her. Unlike the blue ones that so freely offered themselves, these ones all seemed to be trapped by some unseen current.

Slowly Aperio stretched out her hand, dipping it into what she thought of as an invisible waterway in an effort to touch one of the passing lights. To her pleasant surprise, they were solid to the touch; instead of simply passing through the glow her fingers brushed against a smooth surface. Intent on discovering more about these weird orbs she grabbed one as it passed her and lifted it to get a better view.

It briefly shone brightly before settling down, leaving a perfectly round, lightly glowing orb in her hand. Looking closely she noticed something wisping about inside it. Intrigued, she tapped against the surface, causing a ripple to spread over the orb. Only once the disturbance had passed over the entirety of the glowing sphere did she notice that the mist inside seemed to be agitated, almost as if her tap had awoken it from a deep slumber.

Delighted that she could finally affect the world around her, she carefully placed the now seemingly unhappy orb back into the stream of other lights, only for it to disappear in a brilliant white rift in space that opened below it.

What was that?! A way out? And why does the little light go there? And why was that one so lively after I tapped it? Maybe they can feel? … They? Are those things even alive? 

Doesn’t matter, I need to figure out how to get out.

Deciding to postpone the questions that were bubbling up within her, Aperio grabbed another sphere out of the river and tapped it. The same ripple spread over the surface and the mist, again, flared angrily after being awoken from its apparent slumber. Bringing it close to her eyes she scrutinized the sphere for the tiniest detail. Even after what felt like a small eternity, she couldn’t find anything besides the perfectly smooth surface that confined the unruly mist inside.

Slowly she brought it closer to the other lights, trying to anticipate the rift. As she was about to give up and let go it appeared, and with it came a surprisingly strong pull on the orb in her hand.

While holding onto it a little more firmly, just in case, she reached out with her free hand and touched the rift. Much to her surprise, it widened a little to better accommodate her hand and arm. As her fingertips neared the point where they would pass through the bright gap, she noticed they came in contact with a slight resistance. After briefly considering the feeling, the best analogy Aperio could come up with was dipping your hand in fresh snow; cold and soft, with a little give. 

As the cold feeling did not disappear Aperio worriedly withdrew her hand. She wriggled her fingers and inspected them closely for changes, but when she could not find anything wrong she stopped with a silent, relieved sigh. 

Taking an airless breath without spending a moment contemplating the impossibility of that action, she bent herself over and propelled herself forwards, sticking her head through the rift.