Advent – Chapter 40: Fragile Reality

The feeling of home that surrounded her as she entered the Void was something that Aperio sorely needed after what she had learned. Taking a deep breath of the nothingness to further calm herself, she looked at the distant river of lights – it had gotten more lively yet again – and shuddered. Just touching them ruins their lives.

"Mother?" Ferio asked, her voice hesitant.

Aperio did not immediately answer or react to her daughter’s voice. She was focused on the lights that drifted unperturbed in the invisible river, trying to figure out why they would react to her in the way they did. They were souls, but that was not her Domain. Nothing of the afterlife is. And yet, this was her Void. Here, everything obeyed her very thought. So why are the souls in here?

It made no sense to her.

The more she turned the question over in her mind, the less certain of finding an answer at this current time she became. The thought brought, unbidden, the recent discovery of her title to her mind's surface. Despite her efforts to shove its meaning to the deepest reaches of her psyche, here it was again. Taunting her with its implications. That it was even a possibility was unnerving for her, drawing her attention even as she tried to turn away from its reality.

The souls in the void, present as they were in her field of vision, proved to be sufficient enough fodder for a forcible change of thought. Why were they there? Maybe I just put them here to keep them safe? But why? How?

A hand touching her shoulder brought a stop to Aperio's rampant thoughts and caused her to look at her daughter. Ferio's eyes darted around, trying to find anything that could tell her why her mother was just starting silently into the Void. Aperio let out a soundless sigh as she turned to more fully face her daughter.

Ferio waited briefly, but when the silence showed no sign of breaking, she took the initiative. "Why are you so concerned with the lives of mortals now, mother?" she asked, taking a couple of steps back. "You have never cared for most of them before; even the ones you did bless you then sent on their way to do as they wished. The only mortals you cared about were ones that you thought had potential to become strong." She paused, her uncertainty clear in the hesitation. "But with their dependence on the System… I don't know if they are even still alive. I stayed in my Dominion, waiting, until Roots informed me of your whereabouts. Then I remained near Verenier, biding my time until you returned.”

Ferio's words seemed to echo in Aperio's thoughts. Her pulse quickened, the dull thump throbbing in her ears as she became fixated on a single fact that was now clear. Her eyes narrowed at her daughter's words, and her hands balled into fists that were uncaring of the way her unnaturally strong nails stabbed into the flesh of her palms. "You just waited?"

The words caused the Void surrounding them to grow darker, chasing away the meager bit of light that emanated from the river of souls. Ferio tried to take a step backwards but found herself unable to move, an invisible force holding her in place as Aperio slowly approached.

"You did nothing but wait while I was a slave? While I was torn asunder by their vile tools? Used as a test case for whatever abhorrent shit the Imperials could dream up?"

Aperio took a step forwards, the blackness rippling beneath her feet. "You."

Another step caused a tremor to race through the invisible floor upon which she tread. "Just."

With a last step that sent quakes to the very fabric of the Void, Aperio came to a halt in front of her daughter. "Waited?"

Arcs of silver started to dance around the enraged Goddess as her wings unfurled to their full length and she lifted Ferio by the collar of her dress. "You waited while your own mother was raped again and again because some Human thought it was amusing?!"

The Void around them twisted, shifting in unnatural angles with every word she spoke, turning in on itself in an attempt to obey the anger of its mistress. Ferio winced as Aperio's hand tightened and the arcs of silver mana touched her skin, singeing it. The look of confusion that had slowly but firmly settled onto Ferio's face caused Aperio to release her. The rage was still roiling within her, but there was also the vaguest glimmer of doubt beginning to take root as well. Did she truly know?

Her daughter rubbed her neck as she righted herself, the pained and confused expression still on her face. "We could not see what happened on Verenier. Only Roots knew with any certainty that you were still here but it, too, was unable to fully enter the world. Only a small portion of its abilities was allowed in, enough to manage the most basic of system functions.

"If we had known what was happening to you..." Her voice trailed off for a moment, emotions evident in her posture, her gaze, her clenched fists. "The cleansing you did would have happened a lot sooner." She turned her eyes towards her mother. "But why did you not do it before? Unless..."

"I couldn't," she whispered. The darkness formed by her earlier outburst shifted closer to Aperio, and that which once merely blocked off the light from the river of souls now obscured the Goddess entirely. Aperio felt hesitant as the anger that had fueled her drained rapidly away, replaced by remorse for what she had done. Sadness and disgust at her own failure – that she had acted before thinking yet again, let herself be controlled by emotion.

"But why?" Ferio asked. That her mother had not chosen to partake in what she had described was painfully obvious.

"I was just a normal Elf. A slave of the Empire, collared like most. I had no say in what I had to do."

Ferio said nothing, but her face began twisting with an assortment of emotions Aperio could not place. Her daughter's mana leaked out, manifesting in the blackness of the Void in the form of white-hot flames. While it took but a thought to banish the small fires from her Dominion, it provided no answers for Ferio's actions. It did not feel like an attack. The foreign mana was an irritation, yes, but to Aperio it seemed more like a coping mechanism of sorts – her daughter's way of trying to control her own mana.

"Those insolent fucks! I'll...I'll kill them!"

The words of Ferio were followed by an explosion of flame that briefly brought light back to the shadow-filled section Aperio had created in her Void. Her daughter's hair no longer simply looked like it burned but was truly on fire, radiating a heat that Aperio could actually feel.

"Don't you see what they wanted to do, mother?" Ferio asked through clenched teeth, her voice barely restrained. "They wanted to put you in a mortal body so they could kill you!"

Aperio's brows scrunched together at the words, the shadows surrounding her retreating a little. "I did die," she said. "I was sacrificed so that the Emperor could ascend to godhood. But instead of his becoming a God, I returned to this place, together with countless tiny lights." She still wanted to call them souls, but upon further reflection that didn't quite seem accurate enough. The only thing they had shared with the tiny orbs of life was their shape and the fact that they glowed. None of the souls she had seen were the same blue coloration that those lights had been.

"You did not cleanse the continent on purpose? Or lift whatever blocked the pantheon from coming to the world?"

Aperio lowered her head slightly at the question. "No." The single syllable of a word barely fell from her teeth and tongue as the darkness around her drew tighter again. "I was just happy that I could finally die. Be free."

Her daughter heard her nonetheless and very slowly closed the distance separating them. Despite what Aperio had done just moments before, Ferio unhesitatingly wrapped her arms around her mother, giving an affectionate squeeze. "It's okay, mother," she said softly. "You are free now."

Aperio remained silent at her daughter's words. The longer she simply existed, the harder it would be for her to actually live the life she wanted. And yet, she did not want to trade places with anyone else.

"I am sorry," she finally said, gingerly returning her daughter's embrace. "I do not know what I should do. I just want to live a normal life."

Ferio gave her a squeeze, then separated herself from Aperio's arms, brushing a few strands of errant silver hair out of her mother's face before she spoke again. "Normal? That won't be possible as long as those traitors are alive. I would gladly kill them for you, but I neither know where their Dominions are nor can I permanently kill them."

Aperio blinked, catching on to something left unsaid. "But I can?"

"Yes, Roots said you have done so before. Every God and Goddess draws power from something that is connected to you. For most it is the System, though in the case of Roots and I, it is your mana directly that gives us our power. I do not know what exactly connects you to the rest of the pantheon but I do know that they all somehow get a portion of their power from you.

"It is always a fundamental part upon which they build the rest of their strength, but you never told me what exactly it is." She directed her gaze to her feet, either ashamed that she did not know or sad that Aperio had never shared the information. "I had thought it a part of your Domain, but now that you have said that it seems to include the concept of strive… I am sorry mother, but despite all the time I spent searching for answers while I...waited... I still have nothing that could help you."

The darkness that had surrounded Aperio receded slightly as she tilted her head at her daughter's words. She did not quite understand. She had asked nothing of her Ferio, and yet the other Goddess seemed to regard her lack of knowledge as such a big failure. Or maybe she does that because I would do the same? The lack of understanding about her own nature was again showing, and no ethereal feeling of right or wrong came to point her in the direction of progress.

Focusing on her daughter, Aperio pushed the creeping thoughts of her own inadequacy, and thereby the last bits of unnatural darkness that still surrounded her, away. If she wanted to live her life her way, she would have to stop lamenting about her lack of understanding and actually try to find out what she could do and what that made her.

"You have done more to help me than anyone else." The words were true. Despite her fondness for her long dead friend, Moria had not provided as much help and support as Ferio. Though, she also had little choice in what she did. "Even if I do not remember what was before and can not see what will come – I know you are my daughter. Family.

"There are no words to properly describe how I know. Something like a memory, perhaps, though despite my efforts I cannot remember anything else," she said, steeling herself for the disgust that she was sure would arrive shortly. "Without you I would not know what I have to do. I would have been lost in a world I no longer know filled with people I cannot trust."

Ferio remained quiet at her words, causing Aperio to shift her weight to her other leg - the nothingness holding steady beneath her feet - and twitch her wings slightly. Her daughter gave no immediate answer, but there was a certain comfort to be found in the fact that the unpleasant feeling that always came around when she admitted a weakness – physical or psychological – seemed to also be staying silent.

Finally, Ferio spoke. Her voice came quietly and unsteadily, though whether from fear of the meaning of her own words or from fear of her mother's reaction, Aperio could not have guessed." The more time I spend with you, the clearer it becomes that we both no longer know who you are now. I will do my best to help you with whatever you need, but I do not know how much use I can be when you decide to face Vigil and Inanis. I tried to kill them once before, when they emerged to personally influence the world, but as soon as they caught wind of my approach they simply fled back to their Dominions. I do not know how to find them. Even if I could, a fight in their Dominions – on their turf, with their rules at play – would only end with my capture. Or my death."

“I am glad that you did not throw your life away,” Aperio replied. “But, how do we know that I can overcome the rules of their Dominion?”

“...I don't know for certain. If we tried it in my own, though, we would have an answer.”

Aperio was about to answer when a tug at her mind caught her attention. The winged Goddess creased her face into a frown as she grabbed hold of the minuscule strand of mana. If it had not made itself obvious it would have been too tiny for her to notice. Ferio, too, seemed to be aware of the interrupting magic, though she remained quiet, looking at her mother with a twinkle in her eyes that Aperio could not place.

How did this even get here? It was not her own mana, not really at least. It felt distant, ready to obey but only after she had sent it a letter in triplicate. Further inspection revealed a familiar feeling, one she could immediately name. Laelia? The act of recognition caused Aperio to accidentally squash the tiny strand of mana in surprise. As it mixed fully with her own, and joined the ocean in her well, a distant and echoing voice sounded within her mind.

"My Goddess, I must humbly request your aid in a time of need," Laelia's disembodied voice said, the usual choppiness of her speech gone. "Knights of Vigil and Natio march on the house of healing to reap those you have healed. I fear my strength will be found wanting."

Aperio needed no further prompt, simply holding out her hand for her daughter to take. With an angry thought reality screamed as it was torn asunder, powerless against the seething Goddess. Any thought of further talk was cleared from her mind, replaced with a rage that could not compare to what she had felt previously.

Vigil and Natio appeared to be in dire need of a lesson.

GamingWolf

Do not anger Aperio.

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