Crusade – Chapter 66: Family Talk

Aperio raised an eyebrow at the empty street in front of her. The only sign that she had returned to the right place was the house of healing. It was still there, and Aperio could sense the people inside — including Laelia and Ferio — but the large crowd outside had disappeared. How long was I gone?

Time might not truly matter for her, but the four mortals would have had to eat and sleep at some point. Unless my Void takes away that requirement? ...Or did bathing in that soul-water change them after all?

A quick check on the mortals that currently accompanied her revealed nothing of note. They were just as normal and fragile as before. That she now saw a group of mortals that could have probably killed her in her previous life as something weak and fragile brought her an odd mixture of happiness and apprehension. I will have to be very careful with them, won't I?

She wasn't going to get weaker anytime soon; quite the opposite in fact. If her encounter with the first dungeon core was any indication, her power increase would get a sharp uptick every time she retrieved a set of memories and mana held captive by a core. Permanently drawing on my well is also not helping, is it? …Still not going to stop, though.

With a slight shake of her head, Aperio sent a small mental nudge to her daughter, asking where everybody went. She did not receive a mental reply. Instead, her daughter appeared before her and hugged Aperio in a rather ungodly display of affection.

"Don't just disappear for a week!" Ferio's muffled voice was easier to understand for Aperio than it should; the realisation also brought with it the noise of the city surrounding them, something Aperio could have done without. "At least warn me before you do."

"A week?" the winged Goddess asked, lightly patting her daughter's head. "It most certainly did not feel that long." What would happen if I went to my Void and started fiddling with the System? Would I just disappear for a millennia and not notice?

Ferio simply sighed and separated herself from her mother, just in time to preserve her dignity as Caethya, Laelia and a few workers left the house of healing. "Your perception of time is off at the best of times, mother. Staying in your Void only makes it worse."

But I like my Void… Staying in the black nothing was something she would likely do a lot more once she had retrieved all her memories. How long will that take? Aperio also still felt uneasy about retrieving all the memories pertaining to her former self.

The first set she had reclaimed had brought her untold happiness, as very little could compare to being able to actually remember raising her daughter. What she had gotten from Vigil and Inanis, however, was something she could have done without. It did answer some questions she had, but it also only underlined the betrayal of the two deities; a fact that did not need reminding. Now that she had the memories back, they would stay with her. Until the next set of Gods decide to kill me.

That was something she would make sure would not happen again. But to do that, I need to remember. With a sigh, Aperio pushed the never-ending circle of thoughts down, focusing on the group that had stepped outside to join her and her daughter.

Laelia still had the bow slung over her shoulder with no arrows in sight. She had, however, changed the rest of her attire. Besides no longer having her hair in a braid, she was now wearing a set of black and blue leather armour that, to Aperio, looked suspiciously similar to what a few of Ferio's followers wore. Did she give her that to show her allegiance to me?

The likely answer was yes as Caethya, too, now wore a dress that sported Aperio's preferred colours of silver, blue, and black. All they need is an emblem… Should I make one? She had not really intended on founding a new religion — Or is it reviving an old one? — but, like her daughter had said, one would form regardless unless she actively prevented it. I'd rather they know what I want instead of wildly interpreting anything I say.

"Where did the others move to?" Aperio asked again, this time addressing everyone present. She could have gone and used her aura to search for everyone she had brought from the moon, but asking the people in front of her felt like the right thing to do. That the four people she had healed in her Void were frantically looking around was ignored; she had healed them, what they did now was their business. Why do I even want to know where the others went?

She had been irritated that the people she had brought here had disappeared, but thinking about it for even a bit longer showed that she honestly did not care. That it had been a gut reaction to someone undoing what she had made. Like someone took my clothes. She had teleported them there and someone had had the audacity to take them away without asking for her permission.

The idea of recognising people as a thing — something to be placed where she wanted and used for what she wanted — on an instinctual level was something she did not like. Is that really me? It had been her gut reaction, the first thing that had come to her mind without thinking. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it. Just another thing to overcome.

It was a part of her, yes, but she could change. Already had changed. Much of what she knew of her old self was far outside of what she would consider proper or even reasonable. I wouldn't have liked myself, would I?

"Mother?" Ferio asked, lightly touching her Aperio's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine," Aperio replied, not wanting to elaborate further. Her reply did not seem to convince either her daughter or the small group that had come outside. Ferio retracted her hand but lingered for a second longer in front of her mother before stepping aside, seemingly unsure if she should have said something more.

"A few of them stayed here," Ferio said as she fell into step next to her mother. "We sent the rest to the [Guides]. O'lymni was more than happy to offer her help."

That's good, is it not? As far as Aperio knew, the [Guides] were devoted to the collection and distribution of knowledge, something she had nothing against. The fact that they were close to Roots, however, did unnerve her a little. It was rather fond of her, and Aperio was starting to believe that it may have led the [Guides] to view her in a more favourable light. But that was the old me, someone I am not even close to becoming. ...Or want to become.

Her daughter did not seem to mind anything she had done in the past, never having voiced any critique of it. The reactions she had, what she felt when people did not follow her word exactly, was something that had led Aperio to believe she had not previously been much of a pleasant person. Did I just hide it from her? And what about Roots? She would soon have to ask Ferio about her former self.

"Did anything else happen in my absence that you would like to inform me about?" Aperio asked, pointedly looking at Caethya and Laelia. She wanted to say that a dress was perhaps not the best working attire but, considering what she herself chose to wear, Aperio elected to keep that comment to herself. But then, I also don't need armour.

Unlike her Elven disciple, she would not get injured by anything less than the weapon of a God. Though, even that would need more testing now, Aperio thought as she looked at the tiny wisps of mana that were floating around her, melting into her skin whenever they touched it.

"I got your two most prominent followers something more fitting to wear," her daughter replied. Her next words were whispered, accompanied a small ripple of mana that flowed around them as she leaned closer to her mother. "Are you sure you want her to have one of your weapons? The last time you gave one away, the mortals almost destroyed their world with it."

Aperio stopped at the words. Her gaze, which had been slipping towards the cautiously approaching members of the house of healing, zipped back to the weapon she still held firmly in her hand. "How?"

It's a bow, how would she destroy a planet with that? She knew her weapons were powerful, but only in the sense that they enabled her to fight properly, not because they had inherent abilities of their own. Or do they?

"Because of it, might have been a better way to put it. But, what matters is that it did not end well," Ferio said, slightly shaking her head. "At the time I had not paid it much mind — and I still wouldn't now — but you seem to care for the mortals now and until you can remember on your own… I feel like not telling you would be wrong."

"Why would you not care for them?" Why did I not care for them? I made them.

"You misunderstand, mother. I care for those who follow me, but not in what world they do so. You made more than enough for them to choose from, after all."

"So anyone that does not follow is worthless to you?" The idea stung. That her own daughter thought that way hurt more than she would have expected, even if she should have seen it coming. She was never a mortal… Why would she care? It also begged the question of why she herself should care. Nearly every mortal she had dealt with in her previous life had been detestable, and even her first encounter with them after returning had been less than stellar.

Ferio did not reply immediately. She simply stared at her mother for a moment, then sighed. "It's not that they are worthless, but that I don't really care what happens to them. I take after you in that regard; the old you, at least. And, if I am being honest, I don't understand why you would like them now. They enslaved you, treated you like their plaything."

Her daughter was right, to a degree at least. There was no real reason for her to care about all of them. And she didn't. Aperio only really cared about her daughter, and the few mortals that were close to her, but still she found the idea of simply letting millions die to be abhorrent. That she had apparently done that in the past was just another thing she wished she did not know.

"Some mortals did that, yes," Aperio said after a brief pause. She was having trouble finding the right words to express her thoughts, something she usually had no problems with. "But they are long dead, and these ones have done nothing wrong yet. I would even go as far as to say that I enjoy their company." She took an extra moment to double-check her spoken statement, and the emotions in it rang true. Simply spending time with Caethya and Laelia, being in their presence and feeling comfortable, was something that brought a tiny bit of happiness to the winged Goddess. The brief time she had spent with Maria had been fun for her as well, even if she had severely misunderstood the little girl's father. I should visit her again.

Her mother's words brought a small smile to Ferio's face, something Aperio had not really expected. "So you care for the ones that follow you, just like I do about those that follow me. But, in the end, what I think of them doesn't really matter.

"I just wanted you to know the dangers of giving one of your weapons to a mortal. Anything given by a deity is polarising for them. And, considering you are the one that reigns above the rest of us, having a weapon that was made to work with your strength is something that appeals to more than just mortals," Ferio said. "I doubt your Scion would do anything stupid like giving it away, but at the moment she is far from capable of defending that bow. Vigil and Inanis weren't the only ones that benefited from your absence."

"No, they were not." The names of the other deities that had tried to usurp control of the System were still in Aperio’s mind, the memory just as clear as when she had first seen it. "I do not intend to leave her alone, however. At least, not for a while yet."

"Oh? What do you want to do now, mother?"

"I want to find more dungeons; remember who I was," she replied. "But I also want to live. I have never had the freedom to do what I wanted, to go somewhere simply because I felt like it. Even now I do not have that luxury. Not really. I do not know how many more souls have been marred by Vigil; do not know if he was the only one doing it. Simply knowing that there might be others capable of such a thing is making me sick."

Ferio directed her gaze downwards at the words. "I wish I could help you there, but souls are something I do not wish to tamper with."

"Nor do I wish you to," Aperio said, gently lifting her daughter's head. "You are already helping me enough." Just talking to her daughter was helping more than Aperio had expected, and all she could ask for. Now, if only the others could treat me like a normal person as well.

With a slight shake of her head, she gave Ferio a brief hug before stepping through the thin veil of magic that had kept their conversation silent.

GamingWolf

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