Revelations – Chapter 106: Memento Mori

The wild flood of memories had slowed, formed a flow that — while still chaotic — at least showed individual memories in greater detail. As a memory she had previously seen reappeared, clearer than before, it took away the last bits of doubt that the mortal she had been looking at was indeed Moria. She was arguing with Chellien, her voice hushed, probably thinking Aperio would not be able to hear her.

That was, of course, not the case. She had no trouble picking up on the words, on the distaste Moria had for an Elf in their lands. The words gave Aperio pause. The Moria she had known would have never said something like that.

Another one with the same name? the All-Mother wondered as her memory self regarded the pair in front of her. She had no wings in her memory, but, minus the muscle definition and height, she looked similar to her current self.

She also felt weaker. Still a lot stronger than the other God present, but nothing short of frail and powerless when compared to her current self.

Aperio remembered the irritation, the disgust at the presence of a mortal, and noted that another stark difference was her behaviour and thoughts. The emotions clashed with what she felt now: a longing to reach out to someone she thought of as a friend, and a fond remembrance to the comfort Moria had given her in the past.

A wave of her past self's hand caused Moria and Chellien to fall silent. There was a slight warmth that spread through her when she stepped closer, the memory so vivid and clear it might as well have played out right in front of her. She wanted to wrap the Beastkin in a hug, tell her of what she had to live through.

But she could not. Even if Moria truly was in the here and now, none could simply brush side the chaotic storm of mana that now surrounded Aperio. The goddess herself was distantly aware of the world around her, and less distantly aware of the pain present in every part of her being.

Despite all of that, the All-Mother was happy. She had been gifted with a part of her life not filled with slaughter and death, one featuring a friend she had thought lost forever. A friend she had never hoped to see again in any form.

That this was the Moria she had known was increasingly unlikely, however. As far as her newly acquired memory was concerned, this happened millennia ago. Far before she died and was reborn as a slave.

Aperio frowned mentally when Chellien bowed in her memory and Moria fell to her knees. It was her doing, prompted by an annoyance at the mortal's current actions. Why?

She could feel the indignation of her old self, the disgust. Still, it did not warrant the actions she had taken. Abusing her strength like that was exactly what Aperio no longer wanted to do.

Before the memory could continue, another pushed it out of the cloudy mess that was her mind and took its place. Aperio wanted to hold on to the moment with Moria, and knew that the storm surrounding her was lashing out as her mind reached for the moment she had just been immersed in, but despite her efforts it slipped through her mental grasp.

The new memory resolved into clarity much more quickly than the previous one, showing that Chellien seemed to be the common link between the two moments in her past. Her old self, she quickly realized, held in her hands what was undoubtedly his soul, and the hope that this, too, was a happy memory was dashed. The fact that she could feel the comforting presence of her wings against her back in her memory was largely ignored as the orb in her hand began leaking a black smoke that came from somewhere within. Chellien's body, too, emitted the wispy darkness as it slowly started to dissolve.

The storm that surrounded her actual self grew in intensity as anger flowed through every fibre of her being, a part of her Dominion manifesting in the mortal realm to prevent her anger from further breaking reality.

Space around her was already distorted; twisting apart to reveal the construct beneath. The minuscule bits of her creation, moving erratically as they did their duty, resulted in a display that would likely drive a mortal insane.

Aperio screamed when the black mist lashed out, enveloping three Beastkin who had been praying nearby. She could feel the changes within the three, how her old self ripped their mortal flesh apart and reforged them with Chellien's very essence.

She remembered his wish. Give his people the strength to protect themselves. Help them.

The All-Mother's attention was also drawn to one of the Beastkin writhing on the ground. Despite the magic that concealed her form, and made her look like the other men that had been praying, she knew it was Moria.

Before she could ask herself how Moria could accomplish such a thing, the memory vanished. She didn't reach for this moment as it rejoined the confusion in her clouded mind like she had the previous one. She knew that she had witnessed the last moments of Chellien's existence in entirety, and that there was nothing left to see.

The mana surging through her body flared with her anger and, despite the presence of her Dominion, reality folded in on itself infinitely as it twisted even further apart. At the moment, Aperio did not care about the damage she was doing to her creation. The one she cared about was protected by a barrier that grew in strength with every second as her body changed more and more, making it easier for the All-Mother to exert her will on the world.

Another memory took her attention away from the mortal realm and, with it, a bit of the anger she had felt. Moria sat on the stone rim of a large fountain in the middle of a city neither her old or current self recognised. What she did know, however, was that her old self had lost the animosity she had once felt towards the Beastkin.

In fact, there was a fondness that was only slightly tainted by her dislike for mortals. She observed Moria not only through her aura but multiple sets of mortal viewpoints. Her old self was there in a form Aperio recognized, but was also simultaneously present as a variety of Beastkin walking through the city.

How? she wondered as her old self sat herself down next to Moria without the mortal noticing. Could I hide my aura?

The anger that had clouded her mind had largely disappeared, replaced by the longing she felt to meet her long lost friend again and overlaid with the fondness she remembered from this meeting.

While her old self might have been happy with what Moria had done, she was very much still displeased that she had to be there. Technically she did not have to be there, of course, but she was fulfilling the last touches of Chellien's wish, something that had meant more to her than Aperio had first thought.

Her previous behaviour, from before her time as a slave, had always been described as cold and uncaring. Most of what she remembered supported that, and what she had recently learned seemed to uphold that theory. Condemning a world filled with mortals to eternal damnation because their God had offended her was not something anyone should do, least of all herself. But still, the gentle fondness underlying her memory self's current actions made her begin to reconsider things. There was clearly more to be learned about who she had once been.

Moria immediately moved away when she noticed who was sitting next to her, bowing her head deeply. Aperio wanted to reach out and wrap the Beastkin in a hug, even if the Moria she currently saw could not have possibly been the one she knew.

They spoke in a language Aperio could not name, but understood just fine all the same. It was not the one the Humans spoke, sadly, but it sparked a small hope. If she could fully remember this one, then it might be possible to skip the hassle of her current self learning it.

Only a few words were exchanged between the All-Mother and Moria before Aperio could see a faint trickle of her mana flow into the Beastkin. A moment later, the memory turned blank and she was left with the knowledge of what her old self had done.

[Memento Mori]? Aperio asked herself, the name of the title she had given to Moria not making much sense to her. What language is that? She recognised the letters easily enough, but the words themselves were unknown.

A shift in the System's secluded space caught Aperio's attention, causing her to try and look inside it. The task was easier said than done, her mind too busy trying to sort the flood of memories.

Though she needed no air, her breathing quickened, and the storm raging around her hovering form grew further. Tiny strands of her Void mixed with the silver and blue of her mana, reflected maddeningly within the abyss of torn-open reality. Aperio struggled, trying again and again to look at the information the System wanted to show her, but was unable to.

Held hostage against her will, she couldn't move, could barely think, could do nothing but watch as a seemingly endless parade of memories flew in and out of view of her mind's eye.

Lost, in pain, past the point of caring, Aperio fixated on the one thing she wanted. A primal scream ripped from her lungs as she forced her arm to move far before it was ready to be used again. She had to see — had to know — what Moria's title meant.

With another scream that tore the threads of reality apart Aperio lashed out, her balled hand flying through the fragile reality of the mortal realm and breaking it in its wake. She physically forced her way through the layers of her creation beyond, trying to find a way to see what her mind did not want to show her.

A shudder ran through reality itself as Aperio punched a hole into the ever-shifting kaleidoscope of colours that held the threads of reality. Her mana danced across her skin as more and more flowed into her from deeper and deeper in her well.

A second push accompanied by another scream moved her hand entirely past the edges of her creation. A familiar sensation spread across her hand, travelling up her arm and extending throughout her body. It felt like her Void, but not quite; more… fundamental.

Aperio took a step forward, the raging storm of her mana parting to make way for its mistress. The fog of memories in her mind eased as she stepped closer to the tear she had made.

The All-Mother did not know what exactly she had done, having only acted with the intent to know what the title of the Moria in her memory meant.

A clear mind was a welcome change from the chaotic swirl of memories she had experienced before, but Aperio knew that it was only a short reprieve. If she wanted to remember, she would have to endure the onslaught of her past — submit to it.

For now, Aperio was glad for a break, and for the ability to actually think about what she had learned and figure out what it might have meant for her dead friend.

Tentatively, she reached out. Her mana now felt different than before, purer still but also easier to grasp, to control. It seemed more akin to the bits and pieces of her creation that lingered beyond the threads of reality.

A minuscule flex of her mental muscles tore the last threads of reality away from the mortal realm, letting the storm made from her mana, her Void, and the Beyond — a name she found fitting — mingle in the cave while she sent her senses further into the new space she had found.

It only took her a moment longer to realise she had physically forced her way into the System's space, the runes she could sense a bit further into the Beyond unmistakable.

An unneeded, painful wave of her hand caused a familiar blue window to form in front of Aperio. The System had provided the information as soon as she had wanted it, but to the All-Mother it felt more like she had done it herself.

For a brief moment, Aperio glared at the collection of runes with narrowed eyes before she returned her attention to the System notification.

[Memento Mori]

Your body might die, but your soul will remember.

The All-Mother blinked at the words, the motion feeling more foreign than she remembered. What? Why had she given Moria a title that let her remember her past lives?

She could not be sure that that was what the title meant, of course, but it was the only thing that made sense to her at the moment. Why? she asked herself again as she dismissed the window and let her senses retreat to the mortal realm. Or, what was left of it in the dungeon of Fel'Erreyth.

Her outburst had utterly destroyed the threads that had made the mortal realm liveable. As it was now, Aperio had no doubts that a mortal, gazing out upon the endless stretches of nothing that sometimes flashed in colours they could not see and that casually leaked more mana than they could bear, would lose their mind.

She closed her eyes as she breathed in the mana-filled air. A tingling sensation spread through her as it joined the rest of her magic in its endless endeavour. Curiosity sated, and feeling better for having had the reprieve, the All-Mother let herself slowly sink back into the swirl of memories.

The knowledge of Moria's title was still prominent in her mind despite the deluge of memories starting to cloud it again. Aperio could not shake the feeling that her friend had somehow known what she was — had only acted as she did because she feared retaliation when the being currently trapped as an Elf slave would eventually remember.

Her new goal was clear. The prospect of finding what had been her only friend for most of her life was too great, superseding even the desire to regain her memories. She would need to find Moria.

The All-Mother drew the storm that still raged around her body as close as she dared, embracing the pain that came with it. Despite its chaotic nature, it still managed to offer her a guiding light in the endless folds of her memories. Once she had cleared her mind, she would search for Moria and get answers. How she would do that, Aperio did not know, but she would find a way.

GamingWolf

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