Chapter 277 - What It Means

Promise. The word rang in Gael's head. He did promise he'd try. And he would try. It's just that, his patience when it came to that piece of shît was like a snowflake. He'd been waiting for a long time for this, and he was sure he'd combust the moment Evan would appear in front of him. That snowflake would dissipate before it even reaches his skin.

'I'm sorry, Angel… Me trying would probably only last five seconds. Maybe two. Five is too much for me,' he thought as he stared deep into her eyes.

Angela looked away. "I don't like that you saw it."

His brows immediately drew together, but he was careful with his words when he replied, "I hate that you went through that. When did this happen? Was it before I met you?" He wanted to connect the dots—to see a clear timeline in his head.

Pulling away from his hold, she turned to face the window, looking over at the serene lake outside that was almost pitch black if not for the lamp posts on the grass. He stayed behind her, watching her watch the view outside while containing the urge to touch her. She looked vulnerable, and he was afraid that if he touched her again, she'd break.

"After…" she answered. "I… He…" Angela swallowed, trying to compose herself, seemingly uncertain of how to tell him what happened. She hugged herself. "It was a few weeks after I met you the first time."

Gael exhaled harshly, shoving his fingers through his hair. They met and spent the night together on the island, and that happened to her after they met? He'd thought about her from time to time. Who the fûck knew something as horrific as that happened to her, and he had no idea? He couldn't understand the emotion that's gutting him—feeling guilty even though he had no control over what happened. He should have been there for her. Maybe if he was, it wouldn't have happened. No, if he was there, it definitely wouldn't have happened. He'd make sure no one could lay a hand on her. 

"Why is that fûcker not in jail?" It felt good to curse. He just couldn't stand the thought of that vile man.

A harsh and pained chuckle escaped her lips. "All the money we have, and we can't even do anything to him. Pathetic, huh?" 

"Your father must have connections—"

"You didn't talk about it with him, did you?" Angela spun around so fast, fear crossing her face. "Gael, tell me you didn't."

"I didn't." His brows knitted, confusion etched on his eyes. "What's wrong?"

She looked relieved for a brief second, but the concern remained on her face. Letting out a sigh, she shook her head. "He doesn't know. Only Oliver and Nina are aware of what happened in the dark web."

"And why doesn't he know? He has to, doesn't he?"

Angela swept her hair in frustration, the strands falling back as she released them. "It's complicated. Just… You can't tell him. Please?"

Gael studied her for a beat, trying to understand why she wouldn't tell her father what happened to her. He could guess that she must be embarrassed and didn't want to hurt her father. But still, something this big, and she wanted to keep it a secret? Despite not understanding her fully, he agreed. "I won't. It's not my place to tell. But why are you keeping this from him? He should have been able to do something. And your brother couldn't?"

She swallowed, looking almost as if she was ashamed. "There are just some things that don't go your way no matter how much good you want to do. Can we drop it? I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's bringing back all the feelings I don't want."

Something wasn't right. She's not telling him everything he's dying to know. The questions remained at the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed everything, not wanting to force her out of her bubble. Angela had already said a lot, and if he pushed her, she might just push back instead of giving in to him. Gael wanted her to depend on him, to surrender everything that she'd been carrying all by herself. But that's just not who Angela was.

Just as he was about to reach out to her to pull her to him, his phone buzzed a long and steady vibration in his pocket. It was loud enough for the two of them to hear. He whipped it out, already knowing what it was—a reminder that he had to leave soon. He pressed the dismiss button and shoved it back into his pants pocket. 

"You should go… You don't wanna be late," she said.

"Is it too late to hope that you come with me?" He hadn't asked her to go with him tonight, and she hadn't answered his proposal of her meeting his father. But it was a stretch to expect that she'd agree.

Looking apologetic, Angela bit her bottom lip, softening her voice as she responded, "It's Christmas. I have to stay."

Gael had already expected her answer, but it still stung anyway. He didn't know when he'd be back yet. "If it wasn't Christmas, would you come?" he asked as if wanting the sting to prick more.

"I'm sorry, Gael… I still need to process what we just talked about. On top of that, I have to speak to Nina. I don't think I can handle keeping a lot from her. She's my best friend and her family is involved in all this."

"You gonna tell her everything?"

She brushed her arms like she was cold, but it was surely because she was seeking comfort. "I've already lied to her. I don't know how I'm going to talk to her."

This honesty between them was like walking on thin ice for him. He'd hoped she wouldn't rattle to her friend. It was a risk he was willing to take. He hadn't told her everything yet, but what she knew tonight was enough information to make the Morellis doubt everything and use it to their advantage. What he told her tonight meant that he betrayed his family. He trusted this woman for what? For her to forgive him? For her to understand him—to give him a chance? Why was that so important to him? He chuckled in his head, already knowing the answer to his "why" but didn't want to admit it loudly to himself. All he knew was that he was willing to do anything just to keep Angela next to him again.

Gael nodded. "I'm not making you choose. You do whatever you need to do. I'll understand whatever you decide." He felt like shît because he was being selfish. He'd told her so she'd understand, and yet he was making her decide what to do with it on her own. Instead of making her feel safe, he'd only made her question her loyalty to her friend. What was he doing?

Shaking his head, he moved closer, held her arms, and squeezed. "I'm sorry, Angel. I know it's unfair that I'm laying this all to you and let you decide on your own. I should have thought about it more thoroughly. But just so you know, I've wanted to tell you this because I want you to see who I really am. I'm not some kind of hero like the ones you write in your books. I don't sweep away women and give a fairytale ending. That's not who I am… I've had a shitty past, I've made mistakes, and I'm still making them. I scheme against my enemies because that's what I'm good at. My world has been dark, and I'm constantly looking over my shoulders, but I've never been more sure about something...about someone until you."

He was rambling, and he wasn't sure if she understood what he was telling her. She didn't respond, or maybe couldn't—as if he'd rendered her speechless. Her gaze was hopeful, and it was pulling him in. She wanted more.

"There's something I want to give to you." Gael took out the flat velvet box from his pocket and handed it to her.

"W-What's that?"

"Hold on to it. Open it when I leave," he told her as she hesitantly received it.

Angela opened her mouth, looking guilty as she clutched the box in her hands. "I didn't get you anything. I mean I had, but it's not with me right now."

Sliding his hand against her cheek, he cupped her face and lightly stroked his thumb on her skin. "Tonight is already enough for me. I'm just glad you've given me the chance to talk to you." She closed her eyes and leaned into his palm. He took it as a sign that she's permitting him, so he pulled her to him, wrapping his arm around her frame. 

"I've put things off, Gael… It's because I already know how betrayal feels like. And running away instead of dealing with it is what I'm good at. I… I still don't know what this means to us."

Gael gently kissed her forehead and leaned back so he could look into her eyes. "It means I'm here as long as you'll have me."