Chapter 190 - Wounded Heart

"About Ramuja, do you know if he ever lied to me?" Aster asked Irion.

Irion's heart skipped a bit, of course he knew that Ramuja was covering his lies about that girl called Merry and about his identity as s.e.x slave. It was not like Irion didn't want to tell his master directly, he just didn't want Milord to trigger that moment again when he would faint for the whole day and then forget something.

According to Jain back then, Milord had triggered his first shock when he was a kid when the Grand Duchess brutally beat his dog to death, then the second was when he saw Ramuja and Merry. It was already utterly dangerous to even do it for the second time, let alone another one.

'If he finds out that Ramuja is a liar and cheater…'

Irion was afraid that something bad would happen to his master, the possibility was too high to risk it. Thus, Irion shook his head reluctantly. Aster caught Irion's hesitation immediately. He lowered his head and said, ���It seems I thought too much, I doubted your loyalty to me just now."

"Milord, I do things in your best interest. I will not hurt you," Irion said.

"How do you know if it's my best interest?"

Irion stared at his Milord and said, "Because I've seen you getting hurt, Milord. I will not let you get hurt twice. Trust me."

***

After everything had been settled, Aster slept until noon, he was exhausted with the chain of events last night. When he woke up and left his room, every servant and guard were acting like nothing was wrong, they still greeted him respectfully and served him as usual.

As if they never knew what happened yesterday.

'What a load of bullshit, Charles must've controlled them.'

"Where were you yesterday? How come there were no guards or servants patrolling around at night? Did all of you suddenly die and then resurrected by someone's order the next morning?" Aster asked mockingly.

The head butler stayed calm, he kneeled and said, "Milord, the second highest authority in this Lantern Palace after you is in the Emperor and his descent's hands. Since you were missing last night, the Crown Prince directed us to not leave our station or room no matter what, and we are bound to follow his authority."

"And, after I returned, did you really not know my presence, or you turned blind eyes because you were afraid that your neck would be sliced open?"

The head butler didn't reply, which already confirmed Aster's suspicion. These people in Lantern Palace were more afraid of Charles than him, their real master.

"Go to the investigation room and I will let my shadow guards deal with your irresponsibility, now."

The head butler was shocked, he always thought that his fragile master wouldn't have the heart to punish him like this, "M—Milord, I was just trying to save myself, I—"

"Your cowardliness cost me my dignity, what kind of redemption you are looking at here?" Aster's eyes were very cold and detached, as if he was looking at an insect.

Since the head butler didn't move, Aster called the guards to bring him to the investigation room for some torture.

Aster lowered his head, he fiddled with his fingers as his heart was uneasy, 'Maybe because I'm too weak, that they don't obey me like they obey my parents…'

Aster knew that it would take a while until the people obeyed him and respected him, but he was thrown into this role prem.a.t.u.r.ely. He didn't even know much about the people here, because he was not a sociable person, he only knew how to work tirelessly.

Aster decided to leave the room and head to Ramuja's room to feel better. Ramuja must've been tired the whole night too, 'It's relieving that he doesn't know anything though, I don't want him to face Charles again.'

Aster knocked the door, but there was no answer, "Ramuja, open the door." Aster said. He knocked again, but there was still no answer from inside. He frowned, it was not usual for Ramuja to take so long to respond. He asked the maid that passed by.

"Is this room empty? Where is Ramuja?"

"No, Milord, this servant recalls that Ramuja hasn't left the room," the maid bowed her head. Aster knocked again, but still, no answer. He then ordered the maid, "Give me the spare key for this room, now!"

The maid rushed to find the key and not long after, she returned with a small key. Aster unlocked the door and opened it, he saw Ramuja sleeping sideways with his back facing the wall. He was sweating horribly, although it was summer, it shouldn't be that bad.

Aster was worried that something had happened to his servant.

"Ramuja, what happened to you—" as soon as Aster approached him, he could smell a rancid odour combined with the smell of herbal remedy. He rushed to Ramuja and checked his condition.

Ramuja's body was really hot and he kept trembling, as if he was holding tremendous pain. "Ramuja, are you okay? What happened?!" Aster checked around his body and accidentally touched Ramuja's back. He could feel a torn flesh covered with oil and Ramuja reacted by whimpering in pain.

Aster checked on Ramuja's back and he was terrified with the sight of Ramuja's torn flesh and horrible wounds all over his back, "Oh my god!"

Ramuja seemed to be conscious when Aster screamed, he instinctively grabbed his master hand and said, "M—Milord, d—don't come near me… it's… too disgusting to look at…"

"What are you talking about! You are in horrible pain right now!"

"I—I'm okay, please leave… I don't… smell good."

Aster ignored Ramuja and ordered the maid to call the palace doctor immediately. The doctor rushed to meet Aster and also had the same expression as Aster when he saw the wounds in Ramuja's back. It was so horrible that he excused himself for a minute to calm himself before he vomited.

"Milord… I am… okay…"

"You are not! Shut up!"

The doctor returned and was ready to treat Ramuja, but every time he saw Ramuja's grievous wounds, it made him nauseous, "M—Milord, I'm sorry, it's just… I've never seen something this horrible…"

"Tch, Fine! Just tell me what to do! I will treat him myself!" Aster was angry with the doctor's unprofessional behaviour. Although, it was understandable, because Ramuja's wounds were indeed horrible. It looked like his back was torn open by a tiger.

The doctor told him to add another oil on top of the oil that Ramuja used and he had to drink a pill to numb the pain slightly. Aster didn't care about the look of the wound, all he cared right now was to make sure that Ramuja was safe.

At first, Ramuja tried to resist, allowing his master to see his horrible wounds were humiliating enough, let alone treating him personally. But Aster was stubborn and in the end, Ramuja let his master treat him personally.

The door was locked again and Aster started applying the oil to Ramuja's wounds slowly. The doctor said that after a day or two, he could be bandaged. Because if he was bandaged now, Ramuja might die out of pain.

Aster didn't feel disgust at all, maybe because he was treating Ramuja, not other people. After some time, Ramuja finally recovered all his consciousness and he said, "Milord, why are you doing this to me? It's too disgusting…"

"Shut up!" Aster scolded Ramuja, "You are in this horrible pain and all you think is about disgust? Do I look like someone who hates disgusting things?"

"… yes." Ramuja mumbled, "You said to me once that you hated filthy things the most, isn't this considered as filthy?"

Aster stopped his hand, he stared at Ramuja who dared not to stare at him back, "M—Milord, pardon my impertinence, I was… I must've been imagining."

Ramuja glanced at his master, seeing that his master didn't reply, he continued, "P—Please punish this servant, please don't be angry. Milord, this servant misspoke…"

"… I'm sorry," Aster said softly, "Back then, I was… I was just a bratty kid that wants to look cool in front of everyone. I want you to see me highly… I didn't know that it would hurt you…"

Aster continued treating Ramuja, but his hands trembled whenever he touched the wounds. Not because of disgust, but because of guilt, "Did you hide this wound yesterday because you thought I hate filth too?"

"… no, but it might be because of that too."

Aster felt like his heart was stabbed with a knife. He always thought that Ramuja viewed him as someone righteous, someone so great. But turned out, Ramuja also had bad memories with him too.

Ramuja also felt guilty for spoiling too much. Although he still hated all his master's wrongdoings, in the end, he already forgave him, "Milord, it's okay, you don't need to say sorry. It's your right to hate filthy things because—"

"I'm sorry," Aster repeated it.

"Milord…"

Aster wiped the tears that welled up in his eyes, "I'm sorry for being ignorant, I'm sorry for being rude, I'm sorry for not caring about your feelings. You never disgust me, Ramuja, and never will."

Ramuja was taken aback with his master's sincere apology. He tried to calm him down, "Please don't say sorry anymore. You are my master, it's insulting if you keep saying sorry to me."

Aster stared at Ramuja again, with his golden circle flickering frequently, "Beside our master and servant relationship, you are also my lover. I said sorry as your lover, not as your master."

Aster kissed Ramuja's lips gently and then whispered, 'Ramuja, I know that you are hiding something from me. But I will not pressure you to confess. I know that you cared for me the most, I just want to say that… I love you, no matter what. Please tell me when you are ready.'

Ramuja instantly grabbed his master's nape and then kissed him back. He kissed him twice, three times, four times. Ramuja indulged in this sincerity for a while, then he whispered, 'I will. Milord, I will tell you everything when I'm ready. Milord, I trust my life in your hand, please treat me gently.'