I wonder if you are just in my head,
One day, you will defeat this darkness and rescue me.
Maybe you are too good to be true, but I have a reason to believe,
Because we are connected, like two butterflies flying together under the Golden Moon.
Aster was trapped in this endless darkness since the last time he fainted. He could feel his body, definitely, he could walk around, jumped, or even danced awkwardly if he wanted to. But he was still in this darkness. No, rather than darkness, it felt more like emptiness, hollowness.
There was no sound except himself, nobody except himself, and nothing. Aster forgot how long he had been here. Because it felt like an eternity. He sat on the ground and sighed, still thinking about the event in Winter Feast.
'Ramuja, you really cheated on me, don't you?'
'Even if I want to pull your guts, I don't want you to get hurt. Yet, I don't want to listen to your reason, because I will get hurt in the end.'
'Is it stupid if I just want to see you here? I don't mind even if you have cheated on me. I will still accept you.'
'Call me naïve and foolish, but I still love you. Maybe it's me who is too dense, too busy with everything, that I ignored you, so you cheated on me.'
Aster wiped the tears on his eyes and said, "Ramuja, I will be a better person for you. So please, just once, I want to see you again."
"Milord!"
Aster's head rose immediately, he looked around to find the source of the familiar voice, "Milord!" Aster saw a bear-like figure run towards him with his usual worried expression.
"Ramuja!" Aster ran towards Ramuja as he wanted to hug him, Ramuja vanished into thin air. Aster was shocked as he just hugged the air. He looked around again for Ramuja, but he was alone again in this hollow room.
"Ah, I'm stuck in this room for too long that I start hallucinating about Ramuja… how ridiculous. Of course, he is with Merry right now. Well, maybe…"
"Well, that may be true~" Aster turned his head and he was stunned.
A man walked to him, but that man was very similar in terms of appearance to him. No, it was more like a doppelgänger in front of him. Aster was cautious, "Who are you?"
"Me? I am you, of course," the doppelgänger smirked. He circled around Aster and then said, "You've been unconscious for ten days in the real world, it's miraculous how you can still survive for that long."
"Ten days?!" Aster's body trembled, ten days of being unconscious. It was indeed miraculous that he was still alive, "Who took care of me, is it Ramuja?!"
"Oh my, what a positive mind you have there," the doppelganger in front of Aster taunted him, "You still think about him even after you know that he cheated on you? You already recovered your memory, right? They have been in a relationship for three years, you saw them kissing in the garden and you hid your memory about Merry to hide your pain. Now that everything has been unveiled, you can't hide any memory again~"
Yes, Aster finally remembered everything. This time, he had no memory slip anymore. He remembered about Fleur, his childhood dog, remembered about Merry, his childhood friend and he didn't forget Ramuja.
"Eh? Why are you silent? Don't you feel betrayed? The one that you share your first night, your first love, cheated on you and lied to you for three years. That's not a short time, you know~"
"Yes, it is not a short time…"
"Well, it doesn't matter, because you will wake up soon. Maybe in a few hours!" The doppelganger laughed, "You will be surprised on where you are right now, but you should be grateful that someone loves you more than Ramuja!" the doppelganger winked, "He protects you, he feeds you cautiously every day, and he is also a good man with no bad background, unlike that cheating s.e.x slave Ramuja!"
Aster clenched his fist, somehow, he wanted to rebuke it. But what he said was true, "I don't care, I want to wake up soon. I can't stand living in this place for so long."
"Alright! You will wake up in a few hours, of course, with Ramuja erased forever in your memory!"
"WHAT?!"
"Hm? Why act so surprised? Of course, you still have a memory slip! But this time, the pain is so severe, Ramuja will be erased in your memory forever. Don't you want that? You will have no painful memory lingering inside your head if he is erased!"
"No, don't!" Aster was panicked, he grabbed the doppelganger's shoulder and shook him hard, "I—I don't want to forget him, I will not forget him!"
"Too late~" the doppelganger brushed off Aster's hand and continued, "Well, since everything had happened, I can't reverse it. You might die heartbroken if you remember everything after you wake up."
"I will not! I will forgive him and—"
"You will." The man said firmly, "You know that you will die heartbroken, especially when you saw Merry and Ramuja kissed, I know your heart was crushed, but you act strong as always and fiercely detain him. I know that deep down, you really have no will to live when you see that."
"Now that everybody in Golden Camellia knew that Grand Duke of Stormhill had an affair with a s.e.x slave, and that s.e.x slave ruthlessly cheated on him for three years and lied to him. Do you think your body in real life can handle that kind of pain? Your pride has been crushed by a s.e.x slave!"
"I… I…" Aster's lips trembled. He tried his best to rebuke this doppelganger in front of him, but deep down, he knew that the doppelganger was right. He wouldn't be able to bear the pain. Especially since he already saw Merry and Ramuja kissed, twice.
"Well, you just need to say goodbye for Ramuja, you can live happily after that~"
"I don't want to!" Aster rebuked again, "I will not forget him!"
The doppelganger hummed for a moment and said, "Well, you can keep Ramuja in your memory intact after you wake up, but it will come with a price. A hefty price for that."
"Tell me the price, I don't want to lose him!"
The doppelganger smirked and then said, "Deep down, what is the most regretful thing you have with Ramuja."
"I don't have any…"
"LIE!"
"I… I regret seeing him kissing Merry like that. I regret seeing everything happening right in front of my eyes. I regret seeing how everyone judged me with their hostile eyes in Winter Feast. I regret seeing Ramuja and Merry being intimate together, the imagination of it made me sick!"
"Bingo!" the doppelganger laughed happily, he c.a.r.e.s.sed Aster's cheek from behind and whispered, 'You regret seeing them right? You regret seeing everything.'
'So, I will take your eyes for the price.'
***
Tuskan was wiping Aster's sweat again. He was the one who personally changed his clothes, taking care of his necessities and feeding Aster daily. He abandoned all the king's workloads and trusted his sister, Mariette, to take care of it. At least until Aster woke up.
"Aster, please wake up. You are making me anxious. I don't want anything bad to happen to you," Tuskan said. He sighed and took another dry towel and wiped Aster's sweat again.
"Ngh…"
Tuskan stopped his hand, he observed Aster's face who finally, after ten days of being unconscious, Aster's eyes finally twitched and he let out a small groan.
Aster opened his eyes slowly. He could feel a strong hand was holding his palm gently, but with considerable strength. As if he was expecting something gleeful to happen.
"A—Aster! Thank god, Aster, you are finally awake!" Tuskan kissed Aster's hand and then his cheek out of happiness. He was relieved that Aster finally recovered, because as he studied about the Golden Bloods, once they hit the third trauma, something unthinkable might happen.
"Tuskan?" Aster asked.
"Yes, it's me!" Tuskan said gleefully, "You are in the Great Arctyr Kingdom right now, to be precise, you are in Saintess Celine City, the capital of Great Arctyr. You in… uhm… in my room right now."
Tuskan's cheek blushed red, he had been taking care of Aster inside his own room, because he was afraid that something would happen if Aster was put in another room.
"I… It's not like I want you to stay here or something! Y—You see, when you fainted, your guard brought you to me," Tuskan said, "But Great Arctyr in also your home, so.. uhm.. don't be shy."
"How long had I been unconscious?"
"Ten days straight, you can barely eat and drink, barely. But you are still in a deep sleep. I hope you are alright."
"… thank you for saving and taking care of me, Tuskan. I owe you a lot."
"Y—You are a hassle, honestly! But uhm… I don't mind taking care of you…" Tuskan mumbled the last sentence, as if he was afraid that Aster would hear it.
"Anyway, you need to drink first," Tuskan took a glass of fresh water and handed it in front of Aster, "Here, take this drink."
The drink was in front of Aster, but Aster didn't take it, in fact, he was still unresponsive. Somehow, Tuskan had a bad hunch about this, "Aster?"
Aster smiled faintly, his voice was light, as if it was nothing grievous, "Pardon my impudence, but I can't see anything."