Seeing Lee Suh-ah gasping for breath, I felt a bit weird.
“Son of a bitch…?”
Lee Suh-ah used words like that…?
Well, I wasn’t really offended and… I was just amazed because Lee Suh-ah had that kind of image, like an elegant lady of a rich family.
She was like that at school as well but I had a deeper impression of it because later, she would act mysteriously with pretty much no interviews and zero activities outside of singing.
Watching her just singing from youtube, without appearing in any variety shows or any other shows, like a Prima donna, it was inevitable for me to have my own assumption of her personality.
While thinking of those things, I was staring deeply at her when Lee Suh-ah suddenly started avoiding eye-contact with a fluster.
“No… that just then… was a…”
Seeing her in such a flustered appearance made her appear quite cute. I responded with a grin.
“So… you want to practise together?”
“Uh? Yeah.”
Well, it was a good thing for me as well.
Although I did joke around because I felt prankish, practising with Lee Suh-ah was something I would be grateful for myself. Practising with her for a bit last time stabilised my vocalisation a lot so wouldn’t Lee Suh-ah be able to do something again this time around?
Besides, she was the only one who felt this ‘emotion’, so her helping with this research should be able to grant me another weapon.
‘Emotions huh…’
After some thought, I quickly raised my head.
“Then do you want to go right now?”
“Now?”
She looked at her phone and tilted her head.
“It’s 9 o’clock right now though”
“And?”
“…”
*
The practice rooms of Future Arts High were open 24/7. They never stopped you because it was too early or too late, including night times.
You did need a student ID card to enter but… at least they didn’t stop people from entering because it was too late.
But of course, students living inside dorms had to return by 11 o’clock, because if you didn’t attend the night roll call at 11 pm, you would be given a massive demerit point.
If I was chased out from the dorms because of high demerit points… it would definitely be a nightmare. In other words, that ‘return by 11 o’clock’ rule was something I definitely had to abide by as someone who lived far away from the school.
However, two hours were more than enough to practise if we rushed a bit. Taking in the smell of the familiar practice rooms, I flicked my head back.
“Now, let’s go over the incident one more time.”
“Incident?”
Seeing Lee Suh-ah blinking her eyes, I nodded my head.
“Yeah. Before it happened unknowingly, I don’t even know how that happened. That’s why we should go over what happened again in exactly the same style. After repeating like that, we should be able to understand right?”
Although I did call it an ‘incident’ like I was a detective or something, it was true that we had to dissect what had happened.
Nodding her head, Lee Suh-ah raised her phone to play the accompaniment and I prepared for the song while posturing myself.
Putting emotions in.
I forgot the subtle things and focused on the lyrics to the best of my ability.
‘I am a poor poet…’
‘I am a passionate poet that can’t live without songs and poems.’
‘And yet, I had fallen in love with the woman in front of me.’
‘So much that I could even let go of my dreams.’
After self-brainwashing, I flashed my eyes open and saw Lee Suh-ah sitting in front of me with an unhappy expression.
A sigh left my lips unconsciously.
“Haa… move a bit.”
“What?”
“I can’t get immersed in the song if I see your face.”
“…?”
Lee Suh-ah contemplated my words for a bit before flaring up and glaring with her eyes.
“Ha. What a joke. I don’t like your face either okay?”
“…Why are you angry? I mean you don’t look like the female lead so I can’t focus on the song. You’re not weak like Mimi right?”
“Oh~ So you’re saying that’s what you meant huh?”
“Yeah. Look. You’re so energetic for no reason.”
“…Annoying.”
The practices that started off like that repeated one or two failures before having a few successes. Even when it seemed to be going okay, one small interruption would disturb my emotions and a slight side-thought would lead to Lee Suh-ah shaking her head.
After singing around 10 times, I felt exhausted. It was like walking down a dark pathway; like I was crawling with my eyes closed.
“Ha… this is harder than I thought. Because I can’t tell how I am doing myself, I can’t even tell what is right.”
Lee Suh-ah thought with crossed arms and opened her mouth.
“You can’t? What about the time when I said ‘that’s it’? Can’t you just remember that and keep that going?”
“That… the moment I try to listen to my voice and divert attention, my emotions just fall apart.”
“It’s that hard?”
“Yeah.”
Seriously, being immersed in something wasn’t an easy task in the first place.
I mean if we were washing dishes or doing things similar to that, so many small stray thoughts would pop up in the head, but when singing, there were too many things to look out for. We had to focus on the lyrics, think about the vocalisation and pronounce the vowels and consonants correctly…
Telling me to focus solely on emotions in the midst of all that seemed impossible, and at least seemed to be something impossible to learn within a short amount of time.
Would geniuses like Kim Wuju be able to learn it in a flash?
“Hmm…”
I had no idea. Putting emotions into the song appeared to be a basic thing and yet vague at the same time. Although I did somewhat embed emotions into the song during the 20 years of my life as an opera singer, I had never been so absorbed like what I had done before, forgetting everything else.
Maybe it was just my misunderstanding that I had been putting emotions into the song so far. Up until now, how many songs of mine had been ‘filled with my honest emotions’?
“…”
I had been singing embarrassing songs.
Heaving out a sigh, I analysed the incident yet again.
…Thinking back, it truly was a special circumstance.
The more I analysed, the more it appeared like a special scenario made by a god for me to get immersed in my emotions. I could even form a list of aspects that helped me become immersed:
– Since I hadn’t been practising it much, I had zero expectations.
– And yet, there was a prize for the winner so I had to try my hardest.
– Besides, the lyrics themselves fit my situation a lot and touched my emotions.
Recreating a fortune that had appeared from a perfect mix of these circumstances was a difficult task. Scratching the back of my head, I heaved out a sigh and raised a white flag.
“For now… let’s not try to figure it all out today. I don’t think it would work that way, and we should take it slow.”
Lee Suh-ah scoffed in response.
“…’I have to get absorbed in my singing so~ move~’. What was all that pestering for?”
“But, me being unable to focus after seeing your face is… not my fault right?”
“I also get annoyed seeing your face so can you please move?’”
After growling for a bit, Lee Suh-ah collapsed onto the seat.
“So? Is that it for today?”
“Hmm… No. It’s still only 10 o’clock, so let’s do a bit more. You practice while I rest my throat. I’ll give you feedback.”
“Sure.”
Since I had been singing non-stop for an hour, it was about time for me to have some rest. I closed my eyes and massaged my throat when Lee Suh-ah started the accompaniment with a click.
A gentle accompaniment echoed, and hearing that, I realised what the song was immediately.
Ave Maria by Schubert.
“A—ve Maria.”
I listened to her sing with leisure.
The elegant and fine sound reached my eardrums. Despite the softness, it still had enough resonance to fill the practice room with sound, as expected of Lee Suh-ah.
Ave Maria.
A beautiful song of Holy Mary composed by Schubert, the king of lieder. Personally, I thought Han Dasom would suit this song better but… it wasn’t bad for Lee Suh-ah either.
If Han Dasom was like soft fairy floss, then Lee Suh-ah was like smooth silk. It was strange but songs would actually depict the personalities of the singer. Han Dasom with her softness and warmth hidden behind her introversion, while Lee Suh-ah showed off the pride she had in her voice.
Their respective qualities were not worse than the other and were both important personal features of musicians.
“Ave Maria…”
I was listening to her singing with a nod and felt the song coming to an end.
“How was it?”
Seeing Lee Suh-ah asking nonchalantly, I touched my chin. Well, although I did enjoy listening to it, that didn’t mean I could be lazy in giving feedback. After deep contemplation, I opened my mouth.
“Good. It was good but…”
I quickly remembered her songs from before the time travel. Since Ave Maria was such a famous song, I clearly remembered the future Lee Suh-ah singing it with countless memories to back it up.
After comparing the future Lee Suh-ah and the current one, I clicked my fingers.
“You, sort of sing with a casual heart right?”
“What?”
I could see Lee Suh-ah immediately forming a frown and felt that my words might have been a bit misunderstandable.
“I mean… This song’s really easy for you right?”
“In what way?”
“Technique-wise.”
Facing a puzzled expression at me, Lee Suh-ah gave a nod.
“If I had to say it, then yes it is easy because it is within my vocal range. Although my expression skills are still lacking…”
“Un, right. It’s too easy to tell that. It feels like you’re singing it with too much ease.”
“…What do you mean by that”
This was difficult to explain. Scratching my head, I thought.
Mhmm… there were sometimes students like this – students that made high notes easily from birth or were full of talents and could understand any songs in a flash. For them, singing was very easy and fun because high notes could come out naturally with breath.
That’s why, they would unknowingly sing ‘casually’. Wearing a serious expression, I met my eyes with Lee Suh-ah’s.
“When you’re singing, try harder to sing properly. Open your chest up like this, and raise your chest voice up with all your energy. You need to put all your energy in, to have a proper song come out.”
Lee Suh-ah who had been in thought made a frown.
“The teacher told me to sing relaxed though.”
…It’s true that teachers could have such opinions. They must be people that wanted to be on the safe side without taking risks.
However, Lee Suh-ah from the future sang using the method I had mentioned. I could be certain of this myself. I had listened to her songs hundreds of times so there was no way I could get that wrong.
Plus, the method used by the future Lee Suh-ah was probably the one closest to the answer because whatever the case, Lee Suh-ah was the world’s best soprano. With my eyes still on her, I opened my mouth.
“Hmm… of course, the throat has to be relaxed, but nothing else. Opera singers must never sing comfortably. The breath had to be broken as thinly as possible with as much room inside as possible.”
“Un…”
She made a face like she could understand something.
“Think of a swan. Although they appear elegant above-water, they’re swinging their legs hella crazy underwater. Like that, shouldn’t you be using everything your body has to offer to have a better song come out?”
…After talking up to there, I stopped and glanced at her.
Actually, this was something that could touch Lee Suh-ah’s pride. It was similar to saying that she was lacking practice to her face, despite her being one of the most hardworking students
I carefully watched her gazing down at the ground in fear that she would explode at any time but fortunately, she nodded without saying much.
“Okay. Since your words were never wrong, I’ll try it once.”
“Good.”
Like that, she sang the song two more times and quickly fixed the problems. Indeed, although I forgot for a bit because I was teasing her so much, she really was that Lee Suh-ah.
“Ohh…”
Looking at her singing similarly to her future self, I confirmed once again that she was a genius. After singing, she touched her throat a bit before heaving out a sigh.
“You always sing like this? Isn’t it tiring?”
“Well yeah… of course it is. But there’s no other way if I want to sing a good song.”
“Seriously…”
She heaved out a sigh before suddenly tilting her head.
“By the way… isn’t it because of this that you can’t focus on the emotions?”
“Huh?”
I stared at her with confusion and she continued while tapping the table.
“You know, you said you sing like this every time, but how would you ever focus on your emotions like this? Even I have no time to think about anything else.”
Hearing that, I thought for a bit before dropping my chin.
That was… very possible. Those were things I was doing habitually, but maybe I had been caring too much about them thus far.
“So now, give up on everything and try it.”
Her eyes flickered.
“So that you can focus solely on your emotions.”
*
…And soon, Lee Suh-ah opened her mouth with a dumbfounded expression.
“This works…?”
“Hey it’s just like what you said! It feels so relaxing to just not do anything! It’s like I’m not even swinging my feet when swimming; like I’m playing around… wow…!”
Uncontrollable smiles appeared on my lips. It just felt so refreshing.
A success after success.
After listening to Lee Suh-ah’s words, I had succeeded immediately, three times in a row!
I couldn’t hold back my happiness from showing up on my expression and the thumping heartbeats reached my head before ringing it. The quivering of my body continued nonstop and my body started aching all around while the practice room appeared at least two times brighter like the whole world was sparkling.
Now I could somewhat tell what embedding emotions was about. Literally, it wasn’t about ‘casually’ putting in the emotions and I had to fully get immersed in it. It might even require more concentration than when I was singing…
Feeling something that I had never felt during my entire life as an opera singer, I felt satisfied from deep within. Is this how it felt when people with bad eyesight got new glasses?
Lee Suh-ah glared at me who was in a bright mood.
“This gifted bastard.”
Hearing that, I made an embarrassed expression. From her perspective, that wasn’t a strange response because, in her eyes, I might appear like a freshman student that could embed emotions like an old opera veteran… one of the so-called ‘gifted people’.
…But in fact, it was something I could not do during the twenty years of singing until Lee Suh-ah had pointed it out.
In embarrassment, I quickly changed the topic.
“…Hey, that’s not something you can say right? In any case, I did figure out the method to embed emotions but… I need to swing my feet here as well to make the song shine right? I need to be able to multitask…”
Hearing my complaints, she scoffed before standing up.
“It’s ten to 11. Let’s go.”
“Ah… you’re right.”
That was quick.
With a regretful heart, I packed up my stuff when Lee Suh-ah who had been watching me opened her mouth.
“…It’s easy to learn how to multitask.”
“What?”
Seeing me eager for an answer, she smiled faintly.
“Practice. Until it gets stuck in your body. Until your body can do it by itself without you thinking about it, practise. Then, you’ll be able to achieve both techniques and emotions.”
“…”
I blinked my eyes and smiled.
Right, the answer to everything was in practice. Complicated songs and difficult songs would one day be parts of your repertoire after continuous effort… that was what singing was about.
“Yeah. Let’s just practise and it would one day work out.”
“Yeah.”
Suddenly, lee Suh-ah clapped and smiled. It was a smile but with only one corner of her lips raised, in a cheeky manner.
“Ah! It might be impossible for you even if you do practise. Sorry in advance if that happens.”
“…What if I do pull it off?”
“If you do, you need to thank me for helping you. What do you mean ‘what if’?”
…It felt like all my gratefulness had been shattered.
“Annoying.”