S-27. What a TWIST!!

At the edge of the festival ground was an amphitheater, large enough to seat around a hundred people. It hosted an impromptu orchestra, manned by around fifty local residents, and an attendant choir. They were playing a wide variety of Christmas songs and hymns. Their current selection was ‘Silent Night,’ which suited the wintery atmosphere perfectly.

Not that it was nightime right now; it was 1430 hours. But in deference to Zehra’s lights, the interior illumination of 433 Eros had been dimmed considerably, so it SEEMED like night. Similarly, even if there was fake holographic snow swirling all around us, the temperature was still a comfortable climate-controlled 72 degrees. For that reason, we were all eating ice cream cones.

Well, all the humans anyway. I absentmindedly thought I could spawn some fake holographic ice cream and ‘eat’ it, but that seemed a bit much.

I hope Miette dribbles some on her face, so I can lick it off…

By the way, Laria and Katya (it’s still weird to call her that) were snuggling up tightly, with Laria’s head rested on Katya’s shoulder. Zehra was currently using Vicky as a lap pillow, and Teles was jealously groping Vicky’s breasts from behind. As for me… I was clinging to Miette’s arm, and she was gently petting my cat ears with her free hand.

“Those two sure have gotten close.” Miette said to me, observing how Laria and Katya only had eyes for each other.

“They remind me of my grandparents.” I replied.

“Hey, that’s rude! Really, though?”

I nodded. “Oh, heck yeah. Grandma and Grandpa were always lovey-dovey, even after fifty years of marriage. They had the kind of syrupy relationship that made others jealous.”

“Speaking of jealousy…” she turned to look at the triple-act of Vicky, Zehra and Teles. “Does it seem like those two are vying for Vicky’s attention?”

“It totally does.” I confirmed. “Well, I know that Vicky and Zehra have, uh, had a few casual trysts before.”

“Wait, REALLY?” Miette was so taken aback she almost dropped her ice cream.

“Yup. They even did a threesome… well, technically. When they were testing out the, er, functionalities of my Telepresence Doll.”

Miette looked at me in complete shock. “Wait, you mean… before you took over it… both Zehra and Vicky have… uh… with your body?!”

“Uh-huh. I dunked this thing in ethyl alcohol for like two hours after finding out about that. Who knows what ODORS those two left behind.”

“Geez, what a mental image that is. They don’t make bleach strong enough.”

“Tell me about it. It’s like having to sleep in a bed after knowing your parents fucked in it the night before.”

Miette blanched, and then giggled.

“Hmm. I sense someone saying rude things about us, gao~n.”

“How very astute, Mistress. It seems punishment is in order.”

Both of us turned to see Zehra and Vicky standing over us, their eyes glowing with rage. Vicky cracked her knuckles.

“Miette?”

“Yes, Sveta?”

“Run.”

“Don’t think you two can escape from me!! Zehra, intercept them! SPINNING TORNADO MAID KICK!!”

An angry maid is truly a terrifying thing.

*****

We finally managed to escape. Miette suffered a few bumps and bruises, and I had a brand-new dent in my cranium.

“Urgh. I’m gonna have to get this fixed later.” I moaned. “Know any good auto-body shops around here, Miette?”

She shook her head. “I’m afraid not. Maybe Vegna will help you out.”

Vegna Madlala was the Radiolaria’s mechanics chief. I knew he’d be willing to fix me, but he’d probably ask questions I didn’t want to answer.

“Urgh. If only Billy Mays were here to sell me a Ding King…”

“You’ve gone and said something incomprehensible again.” Miette skipped ahead of me and turned around, bending down to look right in my eyes. “Keep it together in there, okay?”

The sight of her cute face inches from mine reminded me of my overriding mission. I felt myself flush.

“H-Hey, Miette?”

“Hmm?”

“Wanna go see the Christmas tree?”

She tilted her head. “We can see it from here, doofus. It’s huge.”

“I mean up close! To really appreciate… it’s awe and majesty, you know?”

She chuckled. “Sure, whatever. Why not?”

Alright, perfect setup! Confession time ahoy!

*****

The tree was glorious. It stood seven meters tall, and was decorated with orbs that looked like tiny supernovae contained in glass balls. These orbs flashed in every color of the rainbow, causing the tinsel wrapped around the tree to glitter and sparkle. This light played off the crystal angel at the apex, which threw off beams of radiance like a heavenly disco ball. The sight was stunning, and both Miette and I stared at it for a long moment, entranced.

The sounds of the orchestra drifted through the air. They were currently playing a soft rendition of “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.” The atmosphere was magical, and the moment was perfect. I turned to Miette, my confession on the tip of my tongue.

She noticed my gaze, and looked deep into my eyes. “Hey, Sveta. Can I ask you something weird?”

Huh? “Uh, sure?”

“Do you think… you and I… could ever be more than friends?” Her face turned red as she spoke.

Wait, WHAT? This wasn’t in my script!!

“Uh… uh…” I stuttered, blindsided by the turn of events.

“Sorry if it’s a silly request. It’s just… I’m really happy when I’m around you, yeah?” She was wringing her hands together in front of her belly, which was absolutely adorable.

My dear pilot! What are you even SAYING right now? Both my heart and my stomach were swarming with butterflies.

“When we cuddle, when we laugh. When you make one of your stupid puns, or joke about something I don’t understand. It makes me feel so… fluttery. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

WHAT? HUH? I’m the one getting confessed to?! WHAT A TWIST!!

“Miette…” I said softly.

“Ahahaha, sorry. I said too much. Or maybe I didn’t say enough? Hell, I’m no good at this. I’m so nervous right now. I’m babbling, aren’t I? Running my mouth because my brain can’t keep up. Ahahahahahaha.”

“Miette, I…”

“Agh, I’ll just come out and say it! Sveta… I… I… I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!” She looked at the ground, unable to meet my eyes. I took both her hands in my own and smiled.

“Sorry, sorry.” she apologized. “I didn’t mean to make it awkward. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was still staring at the ground, her toe digging into the dirt.

“MIETTE!” I barked. “LOOK AT ME!” She jerked her head up and her eyes met mine.

“You really flipped the script on me. And here I was thinking I’d have to bang my feelings against that thick skull of yours to make you understand.”

“Huh? Understand?” She was clearly confused.

“You big, dense, lovable doofus. I love you too.”

It seemed as if time froze. Snowflakes were suspended in mid-flight. The low hum of the orchestra danced through the air. In that single moment of time, a quanta stretched to infinity, our feelings were clearly communicated to each other without misconceptions.

Well, mostly. Miette was still incredibly dense, after all.

“You… love me? You love me. You love me?!” She sounded like a broken record.

“Yup. I love you.” I confirmed.

“Since when did you… I didn’t notice… I…” Her density was on full display.

“Practically since the beginning, I’ve loved you. Since we first met, my dear pilot. And you didn’t notice because, romantically speaking, you’re denser than a black hole.”

“H-Hey! It’s not like you noticed my feelings either!” she shot back.

Pow, right in the kisser! “Ahahaha, that’s true. Okay, we’re both dumbasses.”

“Yeah, I guess we are.” She gave me the biggest, most radiant smile I’ve ever seen. The varicolored lights all around us seemed to envelop her in an angelic glow.

With our hands clasped together, we drew our faces close together. Our lips brushed. I closed my eyes.

And we kissed.

It was every bit as soft and warm and wonderful as I thought it would be.

*****

“Woo-hoo!”

A voice rang out from the bushes. Miette and I pulled away from the kiss, scanning for the source of the outcry.

“Hush, they’ll notice you, gao~n!”

“You keep it down too, Mistress!”

I narrowed my eyes and looked back at Miette. “I get the impression we’re being watched.”

“An astute deduction.” She reached down to the ground, picked up a small rock, and then hurled it into the bushes.

“Ow, gao~n!”

“M-Mistress!”

I crossed my arms. “Now who would be obnoxious enough to append ‘gao~n’ to an exclamation of pain? I wonder.”

“Could be anyone.” Miette replied. “And who goes around calling people 'Mistress?' A voyeur, a pervert perhaps? I’d better throw some more rocks to drive them out.” She grabbed three more pebbles and took aim.

“““WAIT!””” In a state of panic, Zehra, Vicky and Teles tumbled out of the bushes.

“You three.” I said coldly. “I should have known.”

Then, two more figures tumbled out as well. I was momentarily at a loss for words.

“….Captain?! Laria?!”

Laria straightened her glasses and blushed. “Forgive me, Sveta. I couldn’t resist watching.”

“Didn’t I say to call me Katya?” the Captain said nonchalantly.

I nodded. “That’s true, you did. AND THAT’S ALSO NOT THE ISSUE HERE!!”

The five of them stood there, fidgeting and looking at their feet. I sighed.

“Guess they saw everything, huh?”

“Yup. What a shame.” Miette replied sarcastically, grinning. “Time for punishment!”

*****

Ten minutes later, after our spy brigade had apologized profusely in response to our (mostly facetious) indignation, we returned to conversing normally. Well, as normally as our weird little family could, anyway.

“But seriously, happy as I am for you both… what the HECK was up with that confession, gao~n?” Zehra exclaimed.

“Mistress raises an excellent point: it was very odd indeed.” Vicky added.

Laria chimed in next. “Here, I was worried Miette would be too dense for you to get your feelings across properly. I never expected HER to confess to YOU!”

Teles nodded. “It was a twist worthy of a thriller novel.”

Miette was aghast. “Just what kind of strange reputation have I developed among you all?!”

““““A dense idiot!”””” they replied in perfect unison.

“Wauuuuu…” she moaned. “My self-image is crumbling.”

“There, there.” I sidled up next to her and hugged her from the side. “You may be a dense idiot, but you’re MY dense idiot.”

“Ahahaha, that’s not reassuring…” She looked at the sky, misty-eyed, while hugging me back.

“Ah, to be young again.” Laria said dreamily.

“You said it, dear. Why, I feel spry just looking at them.” Katya replied wryly.

“HEY!” Miette yelped. “Why are you two talking like an old married couple? Laria, I’m like fifteen years older than you!”

“I am an AI, a being beyond your feeble mortal comprehension. Every year you experience is like five years to me.” she said haughtily.

“So what, that makes you… fifty? I never knew you were an old spinster, Laria.” Miette was getting back on her verbal sparring game with ease. I credit my hug for giving her the energy.

“Call me a spinster if you like, but at least I’m not dense.” she shot back. There was a moment of silence as lightning shot between their eyes, and then the rest of us dissolved into uproarious laughter.

“H-Hey! We’re being serious here!” Miette protested.

“My honor is at stake!” Laria agreed.

“Oh, give it a rest, you two.” I giggled.

The two of them glared at us in frustration, then surrendered. Before long, they joined the laughter too.

*****

And so the seven of us stood there, gazing up at that majestic Christmas tree, aglow in the heat of our newfound romances. Miette holding me, Katya holding Laria, and Vicky with Zehra on one arm and Teles on the other.

Well, maybe that last throuple was unofficial. I was sensing some kind of spark there, but I was way too enamored with shipping.

Suddenly, the notes of a familiar song drifted over from the orchestra.

“Amazing grace, How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now I am found,

Was blind, but now I see.”

So they have Amazing Grace in this world too, huh? That’s… surprisingly touching.

“Oh, this is nostalgic, gao~n.” Zehra said wistfully.

“Nostalgic?” I asked.

“Kometka used to sing this all the time. It’s her favorite song.”

“Ah.” I looked up at the angel on top of the tree, glowing in many colors, guarding the Christmas Festival. “Maybe it’s her way of letting us know she’s watching over us, from wherever she is.”

“From wherever she is… huh…” Zehra’s voice was almost inaudible.

“Yeah. From this life, or the next, or whatever. I’m sure she’s looking down on us and smiling.”

“You’re right. I’m sure she is, gao~n.”

I turned to Miette. “That’s one more voyeur, I suppose.”

“Better give her a good show.” she responded happily.

We kissed once more, with everyone watching.

Kometka, wherever you are, I hope you’re having a good Christmas too. Please know your sister is doing well, and very happy.

I hope we see each other again soon. I have so much to tell you.

pynkbites

What? It's not Christmas, you say? Silly readers, it's Christmas in July! ...As of three days ago, anyway.