Chapter 53 The Blindest Mole

Apartment 5- Living room

Li Xiuying and Ren Daiyu had returned back to Li Xiuying's apartment to have lunch. Neither of them had spoken a word since leaving the restaurant. The drive had been filled with a stagnant silence.

Li Xiuying wasn't in the mood to cook, so she just heated up some food that was in her freezer.

They were currently eating ready-made gyoza and salt & pepper spare ribs that had been heated in the oven.

Li Xiuying stared at the TV screen, there was a game show on.

Ren Daiyu sat on one side of the sofa whilst Li Xiuying sat on the other; she kept looking over at Li Xiuying with a worried expression on her face.

Ren Daiyu noticed Li Xiuying was more quiet than usual. Li Xiuying was also surrounded by a cold aura that forced Ren Daiyu to maintain her distance.

Ren Daiyu didn't know what to do. In the short space of time that she had known Li Xiuying, she had never seen Li Xiuying become so shut down and unapproachable. Li Xiuying was indeed expressionless most of the time, but she still felt human. Right now Ren Daiyu felt Li Xiuying was like a cursed ice sculpture.

Ren Daiyu had little appetite seeing her friend like this. She asked with concern: "Xiuying are you okay?"

Li Xiuying didn't speak she just simply nodded.

Ren Daiyu: "Are you upset because of that jerk Xǔ Junjie? He's not worth a second of thought. There will always be lowlife people like him; who think that everything and everyone has a price."

Li Xiuying didn't take her eyes off the TV screen and nodded once again.

Li Xiuying finished eating and put her bowl and chopsticks on the table.Ren Daiyu did the same.

Ren Daiyu tried to speak to Li Xiuying again: "Do you want to talk about it?"

Li Xiuying finally turned to look at Ren Daiyu; she saw that her face was filled with sincerity, concern and worry.

Li Xiuying felt a small warm feeling in her chest when she looked at Ren Daiyu. She turned away from Ren Daiyu and looked at the TV screen. 2 minutes had gone by, neither of them spoke.

Ren Daiyu thought that she had overstepped and was being too pushy, they had just become friends and she didn't want to go beyond her limits. "I'm sorry. You don't have to..."

Li Xiuying stared ahead and spoke expressionlessly in a small voice: "All my life I've been used."

Ren Daiyu hadn't expected to hear such a sorrowful statement from Li Xiuying.

To Ren Daiyu Li Xiuying was the epitome of strength. Ren Shirong had told Ren Daiyu briefly about the incident with the bank accounts and she read for herself the article about the shameless couple. Ren Daiyu thought Li Xiuying dealt with those shameless people seamlessly and with dignity. Li Xiuying didn't show an ounce of weakness during those events.

But now Ren Daiyu was finally coming to realise that what she had seen of Li Xiuying up to this point was just the tip of the iceberg. There were clearly many things hidden deep within Li Xiuying's heart.

Ren Daiyu knew that it must have been Xǔ Junjie's actions that had triggered some of Li Xiuying's repressed feelings to escape.Ren Daiyu felt honored that Li Xiuying felt comfortable enough to show her, her weakness. No one liked others to see them at their most vulnerable.

She waited for Li Xiuying to continue.

10 minutes had passed and Li Xiuying didn't utter another word. Li Xiuying continued staring into the distance.

Li Xiuying was deep in thought. A part of her wanted to confide in Ren Daiyu, but another part of her was scared by the thought of trusting someone with her vulnerabilities. She hadn't known Ren Daiyu long and although they had an instant connection because of their similar experience, but to Li Xiuyingtrust was something which was earned. Sometimes trust could only be given with the passing of time.

Ren Daiyu's voice broke off Li Xiuying's train of thought.

Ren Daiyu spoke with a voice full of emotion, which she was struggling to control:"The people I chose to be in my life. The people I loved, who were supposed to love and care about me. The people, who were supposed to be loyal and sincere, discarded me when I was no longer of any use. I was just a plaything for their amusement, a lawyer when they had legal issues, a bank when they needed money, a shoulder when they needed to cry and a warm body to him when he needed love." Ren Daiyu's voice broke as she spoke of her ex.

Ren Daiyu continued her words full of raw emotion : "I may have been the one to break off the relationship with my ex and cut off my former friends but they never even tried to apologize. They never reached out to me again. Our years friendship was worth nothing to them; I wasn't even worth crocodile tears and a fake 'I'm sorry'. And he never fought for me. He never fought.He never truly wanted me. He didn't love me." The last of her words were spoken in a broken whisper. Ren Daiyu hadn't spoken to anyone about how she felt after the breakup. She felt stupid, worthless and used. She felt unlovable.

Li Xiuying stopped staring into the distance and looked at Ren Daiyu. A single solitary tear glistened whilst rolling down Ren Daiyu's cheek.

A moment passed before Li Xiuying spoke.

The cold aura around Li Xiuying dissipated, she spoke expressionlessly: "You're my first friend. You probably haven't noticed; I'm not very good with people."

Ren Daiyu looked at Li Xiuying in astonishment and then burst out laughing.

She thought to herself: Xiuying is so adorable; I think the blindest mole in the world could see that she isn't good at all with people.

Li Xiuying smiled a little at Ren Daiyu who was having a giggling fit.Ren Daiyu managed to calm down after a while; her belly was tender from laughing so hard.

Li Xiuying flicked through movie listings and chose a light-hearted comedy to watch.

Li Xiuying sat on one side of the sofa and Ren Daiyu sat on the other with her legs tucked underneath her; this time they were both filled with a peaceful contentment.

Neither of them spoke, but they sat in a comfortable silence.