Chapter 70 - Ch. 70 Self-reflection

The rest of the meeting went fine after the Slytherin prefects learned to keep their traps shut when someone else was talking. My role is to basically oversee the various prefects and make sure they are performing their duties properly, or at least well enough without making more work for the professors. I have the ability to punish them if they go overboard and rescind distributed punishment if deemed too much. Helen and I also have to write reports to the board of directors and if need be, to attend a meeting.

So before everyone left to patrol the train, I decided to address everyone.

"Before you all go I wish to say something. Although I personally believe in treating people in general fairness, I also understand that the nature of houses will inevitably lead to biases. I know that some people here are capable of being by the book, but I also know people who will favor some and punish others based on personal preferences. I cannot stop you from doing so because that is how Hogwarts is by its very nature. But I will say this, as long as you keep it in moderation and act reasonably, I will tolerate your actions. Thank you for your time." I say as I dismiss everyone.

"Why did you say that? It's almost against our duties." Asked an annoyed Helen.

"Because I cannot change the fundamental system Hogwarts was built on, so i must do what I can from within its construct." I answered. "But tell me Helen. You are a passionate historian, when in human history has fairness ever been true?" I then asked the girl.

The question leaves her mouth opening and closing as no answer could be correct.

"Because being human leaves biases whether we want to or not, and so no true fairness can exist. The best we can do is equalize the playing field. That is precisely why I'm not trying to enforce perfect fairness, only limiting the bias each possesses." I explain to her simply, seeing she wouldn't be able to answer the question.

I left the carriage and started patrolling myself, wearing the Head Boy badge on my c.h.e.s.t with some thoughts going through my head.

'It really wasn't like me to go so far against the guy. I felt aggressive in the face of being challenged. Like I was an alpha being threatened. This merits investigation. I don't want to lose control of myself like this. Even if they have twisted views, they deserve a chance to better themselves. I've only acted like this when I felt someone had done horrible things or when I was in battle, this being neither. I'll have to be careful.' I thought seriously to myself, feeling some guilt over the matter, even if my friends didn't judge me.

As I was coming back from my rounds, a very stressed Hermione ran into me and bounced off, falling down as a result.

"Are you ok Hermione?" I ask as i give her a hand.

"I'm so sorry about that!" She said extremely apologetic, until she noticed who she bumped into. "Aedan! What are you doing here!?" She said in surprise and embarrassment because of what just happened.

"It's no problem Hermione, you are quite small and light compared to me. I was more worried about you. So are you ok? No bad landing?" I asked nicely.

"Yes, I mean no, I'm ok." She quietly finished as she talked nervously and with a blushing face.

"That's good, but why aren't you with Harry and Ronald? Don't you three usually spend the ride here together?" I asked, hoping to hear what I expected.

"I can't find them anywhere! The rest of his brothers and sister are here, but Ron and Harry who were just behind them aren't on the train!" She explained in a panic.

"Calm yourself Hermione. The barrier at the station might have locked them out for some reason. I'll send a owl ahead to the Headmaster to inform him and as long as those two didn't do anything crazy, they'll go and pick them out." I tell the bushy-haired girl.

"Really!? But why would he believe you Aedan? We're just students." She said, going from excited to bummed in record time.

"Well, I am Head Boy, so this happens to be something I'm allowed to do." I answer with a grin.

"How can to be possible?! Don't you need to be a seventh year to be Head Boy?" She asked being very surprised.

"I was deemed to be the best candidate, so I was chosen." I simply replied. "Now I'll go send that owl, you can go and find a cabin to relax a bit in." I say as I pat her head.

The rest of the trip went fine, with only a few students going overboard and with Percy constantly hunting down his two brothers.

We got to Hogsmeade and boarded the Thestral drawn carriages to the castle where the usual fanfare was happening. The sorting was as predicted with only Ginny, Luna and Colin Creevey being of actual importance this year according to the canon. I'll do what I can to protect Luna from bullying and hopefully she'll be able to make friends.

Harry and Ron haven't shown up to the feast, but they should be getting punished for the flying car debacle. After the meal was done, the song was sung, it was time for prefects to guide the new students to their dorms for the next seven years. As the Head Boy, I stayed behind and made sure everything was happening according to how it was supposed to, as well as making sure no one was left behind accidentally.

With my first days duties taken care of, I head towards Ravenclaw tower and enter my own room.

It was time for my yearly tradition: the listing of goals.

1. My Mastery Projects. With Potions, Herbology, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Transfiguration, Warding, Dueling and Healing taken care of on my list, it was time for Charms and DADA. For these two, I've planned to create two new spells: one offensive for DADA and one defensive for Charms. I already have an idea of what I'm aiming for, it will require a lot of time and effort to bring them to life.

2. Make Voldy's useful memories my own. I want to be able to use his extreme knowledge of the dark arts against its practitioners. This path is vile by its very nature. It slowly taints the soul itself, increasing ones affinity with its magics by changing the person slowly. It turns the person into being more ruthless, easily angered, prone to extreme actions, and most importantly it makes you more dependent on the dark arts. It slowly turns you into someone relying on it for all of your skills and strength, making you a conduit for it to come into the world. When I describe it like that, it's like the path has a sort of sentience, but it's the best way I could describe its influence on wizards.

3. Make sure no one dies this year. I don't want to rely on believing the story will happen without fail and that no one will die this year. Everyone of the petrification victims were lucky to not have been killed by its gaze or bitten by the basilisk during the year and I want to keep it that way. Plus I have my own advantage against the snake, like not needing to use my eyes to see it.

4. Continue to help train my friends and if the dueling club is reopened this year, I'll try to salvage whatever Lockhart does with it. I want to help others learn how to defend themselves and I'll do it with anyone who wishes to learn. I believe Professor Flitwick would actually love to teach the subject, he was constantly denied by the Headmaster and gave up on it, but this is the perfect chance to make it happen.

5. This ones new. I want to make sure I'm ok. After that aggression I felt on the train I'm worrying about myself. I fear it's between two possible causes: Voldemort's memories or my rituals. It might be a side effect of me spending too much time inside the maniacs head during last year, or it might be that even if I've never used dark arts, seeing them through the maniacs memories was enough to change me somehow. The seconds would be that one or both of the creatures I've assimilated has started affecting my behavior to be more animalistic. If I had to guess, it would be the Whampus cat parts of me, due to their predatory natures and having actually been infused with some of its parts. The Phoenix is a lot less likely due to their more peaceful or aloof nature's, and being considered creatures of the light will usually indicate milder temperaments.

'I hope it's nothing too serious. I don't want to do anything I'll truly regret. But I still want to achieve my goals and dreams, and I'm not letting this get the better of me more than it already has. I will master and improve myself, I will not be controlled by some bits of a madman, dark arts or an animal. I am Aedan Bones and I will be victorious, whether against Voldemort or myself!' I think as my determination rises to met this new challenge.

With my yearly ritual over, I turn off all lights in the room and go to bed.