Chapter 39 - ROOTED

Let's have a little history lesson.

Black is beautiful. Don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise. If you're black, be confident in your skin, be bold, be brave and be strong. Our ancestors were forged from fire, engraved with the resilience of a boar and fought for our freedom time and time again, whether it was through peaceful protests or defying the status quo. 

Our ancestors are the reason why we are standing here today. They're the reason why we have the power to vote, the power to let our voices be heard and most of all, they're the reason why we are standing tall and excelling in everything we put our minds to.

Be unapologetically you.

Be black and proud.

Those are the words Grandma Maggie told me while I was growing up. My mum is of Nigerian descent and my dad's ancestors are predominantly from Barbados, you know, Rihanna's country, so I have every reason to be proud of my heritage. It's a fibre of who I am and I would never be ashamed of it. 

Mariah can call me hood rat all she wants, but I don't care. I've worked too hard on my self-confidence to allow another person tear it down. In fact, she's lucky that I'm a bit more refined than some of the people I grew up with. Where I come from, if you talk crazy, you get dragged or you get popped.

I never really had a problem with my identity. I grew up on Cranedale Street, which is where I still live till date, and was surrounded by black kids. It's a tight knit community and everyone knows everyone in the area. 

Is it as safe as all the fancy neighbourhoods that the kids at Adelaide reside in? Definitely not. Violent crimes take place from time to time and when they're reported, the authorities sometimes don't care. In fact, I believe that the only reason why they followed up on my attempted rape case is because Jason followed me and swore that he'd be keeping an eye on the case. I learned from a young age that the rules are not the same for all races. It sucks big time and is highly unfair, but then, that's just how the world works. The world is unfair and that's why the rich would continue to get richer, the poor continue to be poorer, the oppressor steps on the neck of the oppressed and the oppressed would continue to cry out.

Once you grow up in the trenches, then you start to accept the harsh realities of life.

I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything in the world because it made me tough; it made me have a thick skin, thick enough to withstand the taunts of people like Mariah and Jason. I guess you can also attribute my tough personality to the positive role models I had in my life: my mum, Grandma Maggie and my dad.

Yes, I said my dad, because growing up, I remember him always being there for me. Hell, if he didn't take me to martial arts classes everyday, I won't have beaten Jason's ass in 'Treasure Hunt'. 

My childhood was relatively happy until Sophie got diagnosed with Type A Sephiligitis. I guess it took a strain, both financially and emotionally, on my parents because they started fighting a lot. I remember coming home and witnessing verbal arguments. Sometimes I'd ask why they're fighting and they won't tell me shit. It was frustrating at some point, but I got used to being left in the dark. I was a child so I didn't think too much of it, but looking back now, I realize that arguments like that are not normal and should not be seen as such.

When I was seven,my dad left just like that, with no fucks given and no apologies. At first, mum lied and said he was 'taking a break' from us and I accepted that for a while. But, I saw how the other kids at school would have two parents attend the parent-teacher conferences and it got me curious. Why do I have one parent attending these conferences and the others have two?

Mum didn't give me a straight answer and I was a resilient child. While we were all visiting Grandma Maggie, I asked her the same question I asked mum and she finally told me the truth, after much persuasion.

He cheated.

Dharell Jones cheated on mum while Sophie was still battling for her life. How can a human being be so selfish? Doctors swore Sophie wouldn't live past twelve years of age, but she has surpassed all expectations and lived an extra two years than her life expectancy. Of course, there's always this fear that something would happen; maybe her lungs would give out or her arteries would get clogged or she wouldn't be producing enough blood in her system. But, so far, everything's fine…for now.

Grandma Maggie only said he cheated on mum, nothing else. So, I pieced the pieces together. He probably ran off with his mistress and cut off all communications with us to start afresh. Maybe he never mentioned to the mistress that he had a family and didn't want her to find out. Maybe he's just a wicked soul who only cares about himself.

I choose to believe the latter because that's the only reasonable explanation. But, I harbour no resentment. It's all water under the bridge.

.........…..

I hear a knock on my bedroom door and close the novel I'm reading. Have to say, 'Me Before You' by Jojo Moyes is really interesting. I got a copy from Barnes and Noble after Paris won't shut up about how 'emotional' the movie is. I decided to read the book first before I venture into watching the movie because books which turn out to be Hollywood movies tend to cut out scenes, sometimes really important ones, and it just ruins the whole experience for me. I know they can't possibly depict every single thing that happens in the book, but, it wouldn't kill them to at least try.

''Come in.''

Mum peeps her head through the door, her pink bonnet fading into view. ''You're not asleep yet? You have school tomorrow.'' She comes in and closes the door. I pat the bed beside me and she sits down…more like bounces on it. ''You know it's 11pm and you need eight hours of sleep-''

''So you can function properly because adequate sleep leads to a healthy mind.'' I complete for her. I've been on the receiving end of this mantra since I was fourteen and started sleeping late because of tests and exams. She's a nurse and my mum and she has a right to be concerned, but I won't die if I sleep for five hours.

Albert Einstein only slept for three hours a day and he was a genius.

''Exactly. Sophie's asleep and you're usually asleep by this time since it's not test or exam week.'' She eyes me suspiciously. ''Who's keeping you up?""

Black parents always assume that if you're up late, you're probably talking to a guy and that automatically means you have a boyfriend. I humour her a bit and say. ''Jojo Moyes is keeping me up late, mum.''

''I knew it! Who is he? Is he from school? When were you going to tell me you had a boyfriend?''

I roll my eyes internally. If it were possible, I would have visibly rolled my eyes but that's a death sentence. ''Mum, I don't have a boyfriend named Jojo Moyes.'' His name is Bob Stewart. ''How'd you even come up with that conclusion?"'

''So it's a girl?''

''Mum,'' I answer frustratingly. ''Jojo Moyes is an author, a female author.'' I point to the book on my lap and show her the cover page. ''Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. That's WHAT'S keeping me up. It's a really good book and Paris recommended it to me.''

She visibly relaxes and adjusts her robe. ''That's good. I thought you had a boyfriend I didn't know about.'' I laugh nervously. ''If I have one, you'd be the first to know.'' I hate lying to my mum, I really do, and sooner or later, the truth is bound to come out, but I like things the way they are right now. If the truth comes out, I'd deal with the situation head on.

''Speaking of Paris, how is she? I don't see her around much.''

''She was here last week and she's good, I guess. We're both trying to survive the last months of high school so we can be done with the education system.'' Mum gives me a look. ''I mean, done with high school.'' Another thing about black parents, higher education is really important to them. You absolutely have to go to a university. To them, higher education means securing your future for life. My mum, dad, Grandma Maggie, Grandpa Harry, Cousin Sayda, they all went to university.

Who am I to say that I don't want to go to university?

''Have you thought about where you want to go or what you want to study?'' I shake my head. ''My end goal is to be a lawyer, but I don't know what I want to do as a first degree.'' She nods in understanding. ''Paris and I have made an appointment with the guidance counsellor so we'd be paying her a visit tomorrow. Hopefully she can guide us in making a decision.''

''That's good, honey. My advice is you pick something you love and don't sweat it. I don't want to pressure you and I won't tell you to go into the medical field like I did because that's entirely up to you. I'll just do my part as a mother to guide you aright and be as supportive as possible.''

I give her a hug. ''Thanks, mum. I love you.''

''Love you too. Always and forever.''