Chapter 61 - PAPER HEARTS

The thing about honesty is that it is very rare. Finding it in the world is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Some people conceal the truth to save their own skin. Others do it because they are afraid of what the truth might mean for them once they accept it. Then there's another group who believes that there's no difference between the truth and a lie. They're both deadly weapons of mass destruction.

If I were to box myself in a category, I'd say I'm in the group that conceals the truth because they're afraid of what it might mean. Denial is easy, it's a safe haven. If you pretend it never happened, you'll probably believe it enough to be true.

The events of the past two weeks have been a lot for me, a normal teenager, to handle. The truth is, I've had a couple of moments when I started questioning what I did to deserve it. It makes no sense to me because I would like to believe that I'm a good kid who doesn't bother anybody and minds her business.

Now, my boyfriend-or ex-boyfriend-at this stage in my life because if Bob ever comes back alive, the relationship is over, has some sort of ties with the Siddenno's or the Floretini's (maybe both), I have a new step-brother bodyguard because my life is in danger and I have a crush who may or may not be affiliated with Bob.

The third problem must be resolved this minute.

''I want you to be honest with me, Jason because I know everything.'' I say suddenly much to his confusion. His eyebrows tend to furrow and his eyes become a tad bit smaller when he's confused. That's another thing I've noticed about Jason Blunt.

''You have to be more specific. What exactly do you know?''

There's an old African saying Grandma Maggie told me when I was a little girl. In order to catch a monkey, you have to behave like a monkey. I haven't forgotten it even after all these years and it's going to be a powerful tool if I'm going to get the answers I want from Jason's mouth.

My phone has been buzzing, no doubt it's from Theo, but I don't answer it. We're not that far off from where his Sorento is parked so even though he may not be able to listen in on our conversation, he can see us.

And as he can see, there's no foul play.

''I know that you deliver weapons to my boss, Bob Stewart.''

His mouth opens to say something but I hold a hand up. I know he's going to deny it. ''For the love of all things holy and pure, don't deny it. I heard him talking to you on the 7th of September.''

Reservation is present on his face, but I refuse to back down. If I'm going to squeeze the truth out of him, then so be it. Noticing my resolve, he sighs and says. ''Your boss was my boss too.''

In order to catch a monkey, you have to be a monkey.

Classic case of reverse psychology.

''And he was also your boyfriend.''

I want to gasp or act like I'm shocked but I can't. At Ryan's party, when he had me pressed against the door, he stated that he knew I had a boyfriend. Back then, I didn't know if he was aware of who it was so I dismissed it thinking that Bob and I were in the clear since we were extra careful.

I don't deny his claim because it's the truth and he takes my silence as a confirmation. I don't know where Bob is so there's no secret to protect anymore. Moreso, since he has confirmed what I wanted to know, then it's only fair if I reciprocate it.

''How did you find out?''

He stiffly responds. ''I was at Dianopolis Central Park.''

Our first date. 

''You've seen the news. They said he is 'armed and dangerous', so why would you get involved with him?'' The local police department issued a statement yesterday, stating that there's a warrant out for Bob's arrest in connection with the Lakedale shooting. I thought it was a stretch when they claimed he was 'armed and dangerous' because if anything, that night, he was the one who saved my life. 

''Since when do I have to give you explanations about what goes on in my life?''

His eyes darken and he ignores my question. ''Do you know how dangerous your 'boyfriend' is?''

''You're dangerous too,'' I snap. ''Or have you forgotten the fact that you're a leader of a gang and you kidnapped me?''

He visibly flinches and I instantly feel guilty…again. I swore I'd let bygones be bygones but the words just flew out of my mouth without caution.

''You're never going to let me live this down,'' my lips curve. ''and I know I'll say this a million times, Princess.'' Again, with the blasted name. ''But, I'm sorry.''

You've been forgiven a long time ago.

He takes a step closer to me and I instinctively take a step back until my back hits the cool body of his car. I feel a very strong wave of deja-vu, the type that hits you smack in the face. The butterflies-more like the zoo-in my stomach can confirm that.

He leans his towering body towards my frame until we are almost the same height. Sensing my nervousness, his lips twitch a bit until I can feel his minty breath on my face. Now would be the best time for Theo to jump in because I may actually die in the hands, no in the breath, of Jason Blunt.

I bite my bottom lip on instinct and his gaze falls to my lips, lingering, staring, almost like he wants to do something, something we both would enjoy but he holds back.

''There's a difference between your boyfriend and I,'' he whispers. ''I would never put you in danger.''

My breath hitches in my throat and I feel like I want to explode. Like a fog clearing from my vision, he leans back with his signature smirk, knowing the obvious effect he has on me.

When did we even get to this point? It seems like just yesterday when we were pulling pranks and calling each other all the names in the book.

''My gash.''

''What?''

''The gash you stitched that day? Remember?''

How can I forget? It scared the shit out of me!

I nod slowly.

''He did that to me, Princess.''

What?!

''Bob gave you that gash?'' I ask for confirmation because I think my ears are wired wrongly. 

''Yes.''

I think I'm going to be sick.

''B-But that's not t-t-t,'' I suddenly feel lightheaded and weightless. Like the world is spinning out of my control. I place my right hand on the body of the car and the other on my head. 

Swiftly, Jason is by my side and places his hand on my waist, steadying me. ''Woah, Princess. Are you okay?''

How can I be okay?

''No.'' 

I want to cry, scream, shout or punch somebody because what is my life?

''Everything is wrong.'' I whisper so only he can hear me. ''So fucking wrong and I-''

''Breathe in,'' I hear his silky voice command. Like my body has a mind of its own, it follows his instructions and I take in ragged and laboured breaths.

''Breath out and clear your head.''

I've never had a panic attack before, but I've heard of the debilitating effect it has on people. Quite frankly, I didn't think I would be able to get those because I had my shit together. Not to say that those who get panic attacks don't have their life in check, but it's just not me.

But given the events and revelations that have happened in rapid succession, I don't know who ME is anymore.

''Why are you telling me all this?''

''I wouldn't go into the sematics, but your boyfriend is not a nice man. He has done some…unspeakable things and it killed me to see that you chose him.''

Why didn't you warn me earlier!

''I could have stopped you,'' he muses bitterly, his hands still on my waist. ''But I figured you wouldn't have believed me.''

He could have given me the benefit of the doubt.

''When I was at Dianopolis and I saw you two kissing repeatedly,'' he continues with a hard expression. ''I knew you were hooked. We weren't on good terms at that point in time; I had just kidnapped you and you hated my guts.'' I did hate his guts. ''So I was probably on your blacklist.''

He tries to make a joke of the situation but I can't bring myself to laugh or crack a smile. It's all too much for me.

''You needed to find out the truth on your own, slowly.''

He strokes my face with his rough palm and I lean into him instinctively. I don't care if we're in the school's parking lot and everyone can see us, and neither does he by the looks of things. I need the comfort and he's providing it. 

''After the news broke out that there had been a shootout around your area, I got curious.''

His palm leaves my face and I almost whimper, missing the warmth of his hands.

''And the news said that there was a teenager found at the scene.''

Don't say it.

''Suddenly, you didn't show up at school for a week. I thought it was a coincidence, but when you showed up with crutches and a bandaged leg, I started putting the pieces together.''

I swallow the bile in my throat and he continues. ''What put the nail on the coffin for me was yesterday's news report.''

Bob's arrest warrant.

''Everything started making sense and I knew then that the gig was up.''

With his hands still planted on my waist and my body pressed on his Veyron, he stares into my brown eyes and I see something that I've been searching for ever since my ordeal: sincerity.

''You asked me why I'm telling you all this?''

He leans in again for the second time and I almost become one with his vehicle. ''I want to protect you, Princess.''