Chapter 70 - WONDER

''What Easton said about Mariah. Did she really have an abortion?'' What I really want to ask is 'Did you father Mariah's baby?' but I don't want to be too direct and I don't know if he'd entertain that.

''That's why you've been avoiding me?''

''I wasn't-''

He rolls his eyes. ''I've known you for four years, Princess,'' his gaze flickers to me. ''You're a terrible liar.'' 

Everyone says that!

''Are the rumours true?'' I question again, determined to get a straight answer from him for once. ''Did you father Mariah's baby?''

He pauses and makes no attempt to answer my question-well questions, instead his gaze is fixed on something else. ''Mariah and I have a complicated history,'' he finally says. ''We went through a lot of shit together, probably moreso than most teenagers.''

''Oh.''

Still doesn't answer my questions.

He grabs another punch from the table, his fingers gripping the plastic almost to the point that the contents would spill and make a mess of his pristine white shirt. ''We've been on again and off again for four years and it has been tumultuous. I guess you can say that from the beginning, the relationship was based on convenience, not necessarily because we liked each other.''

If I'm going with Mariah's reaction to seeing Jason kissing another girl at the hotel's club, I'd say that's inaccurate. But, I don't tell him this and instead just listen.

''If you think about it, it actually worked, in a cliché, 90's teenage romcom way. I'm the captain of the basketball team, she's the head cheerleader, so I guess it was only 'natural','' he air-quotes. ''for us to be together.''

''We weren't faithful to each other; she fucked other people behind my back, including the Calculus teacher,'' he chuckles bitterly. ''and I retaliated by fucking other girls too. That was just how our dynamic was.''

I flinch a little at the fact that he said he has slept with other girls. I already knew that he had done that through hallway gossip but to have him confirm it with his own mouth makes me feel a little bit jealous.

He doesn't look at me, instead he has his face angled towards the crowd in front of us. I take a quick peek at his face and he looks solemn-a look I've never seen him sport before. Usually, at least when he's with me, he's either cheeky, cocky, irritating, sometimes rude or downright flirtatious. But now it's like a dark cloud is over his head. 

''One summer morning, Mariah came over to my house and said she was pregnant. Even showed me the pregnancy tests with the two pink lines and said it was mine.'' He shakes his head. ''I was in complete shock. I was sixteen at the time and definitely not prepared to be a father.''

He turns to the side and looks at me, analysing my placid expression before continuing. ''I told her that I didn't believe it was mine because she was seeing other people behind my back. We had a big fight and she accused me of being a coward and not taking responsibility for my actions.''

Shit.

''After our massive blowup, I had time to think things through and called her over. We had a talk and she swore it was my baby and I believed her. Even said I'd follow her to the doctor for a scan and get the prenatal stuff that I read about online.''

He holds my gaze. ''Do you know what she told me?'' I shake my head. ''She said she was getting rid of the baby.'' My breath hitches in my throat. ''She said she didn't want to be a mother so early on in life and since I didn't believe that the baby was mine, then there was no point in keeping it.''

''I begged her for weeks to not get rid of it. I didn't want to be a father at the time, but I didn't want her to get rid of it like it was trash. It was a human life for fucks sake. I told her that we could work something out, maybe put the baby up for adoption, but she wasn't having it. Her mind had already been made up.''

Double shit.

''One day, she called me and said she's going to go ahead with the procedure at Sidai Phi Clinic. It had been booked a week in advance and she was probably about a month pregnant at the time. She asked me to go with her, but I declined because I was so fucking angry.'' My gaze moves to Theo who is still in the clutches of Kayla and I visibly relax. If he's occupied, he won't interrupt. 

''Didn't I have a say in all this? It was my baby too but she made that unilateral decision without me. How selfish can Mariah be?''

Don't cry, Mel. Don't cry.

''She claims, even till this day, that she did me a favour because we weren't ready to be parents, but sometimes I wonder what could've been, you know because I think about that baby a lot-my baby.'' I nod again. ''If he or she were alive, it'd be two years old now. My dad didn't stick around enough for me to even know him so I wonder sometimes if I would've been a good dad.''

I point towards the man I had assumed was his father and he gets my drift. ''He's not your dad?''

''That's my mum's husband, not my dad. I took his last name and I've known him since I was nine and he sorta raised me, so I guess you could call him my dad.'' he smiles softly, but it's masked with hurt.

''I don't know what to say,'' I admit. ''I didn't know.''

''No one did, not even my family.''

Wow.

''You know, I don't even know why I'm telling you this.'' I have no idea why either. ''I could've easily shut you down immediately you brought up the question but I didn't.''

''Why didn't you?'' I question softly. 

''Because I feel like I can trust you,'' he answers with a lopsided grin. ''How ironic is that? We've been at each other's neck for four years and now you're the first person I've told this chapter of my life to.''

''You're good at keeping secrets,'' he comments in an observational matter. ''You didn't tell anyone I'm in a gang even though I pushed your buttons.'' He did push my buttons. ''If you did, I'd probably be in jail by now.''

''If it makes you feel any better, like you said, I'd keep your secret and I'm sorry about everything that went down with you and Mariah.'' 

I never would have thought that the rumours were true. Although I don't doubt Easton's credibility, I just desperately wanted them to be false. 

But it's not. Jason just ripped off his band-aid and opened up his heart to me. It makes me feel special to know that I'm the first person he's confiding in with this bit of his life. Maybe I judged him too quickly. I pegged him as the 'bad boy with no scruples' and the guy 'who can't keep it in his pants' but now I'm seeing him in a different light. Sure, he may not have a halo over his head, but he's human too, someone with raw emotions and feelings.Underneath that cliché, bad boy persona is a boy who's hurting and clearly still beating himself over the abortion that happened two years ago.

He shrugs. ''It's in the past now.'' From the look on his face, it's still a fresh wound. ''I still think about it sometimes but I can't do anything about it now.''

I smile at him. ''I can't lie and say that I understand what you've been through because shit, that's heavy,'' that earns me a smile. ''But, if you need a friend or you need someone to talk to, I'm here.''

Maybe it's time we end this feud once and for all.

I stretch out my hands in front of him. ''How about we call a truce? If we're being real, our feud has been going on for so long. It's exhausting and we're graduating next year, so friends?''

He looks down at my outstretched hands and we lock gazes. For a second, it's just us and the music in our own little world. There's no crowd, there's no Theo, no Mariah, and no feud.

He grips my hand in a firm hold and much like when he held my waist in the parking lot, I feel electricity pass between us. From the looks of things, I'm not the only one that felt the current because my gaze falls to our interlocked hands and he looks down too.

''From enemies to friends. An interesting transition,'' he muses.

''I'll say.''

December twelve: The day I started seeing Jason Blunt in a whole new light.

And the day I firmly solidify in my heart that I like Jason Blunt.