218 Lancepesade

Munifex Justus stood up from his hiding position, lifting up his pilum to aim. He took a deep breath, trying his best to calm himself.

Zehr's pilum speared into the lead kobold's lower abdomen, dropping it with a pained yelp.

Another kobold was struck in the chest with a silvery bolt, one of Rena's. It fell backward with a dull thump that Justus was surprised he was able to hear so clearly.

He aimed. His heart was beating out of his chest.

The kobolds were barking in a loud panic. Some grabbed for their weapons. Some looked around, desperately trying to find their attackers. One had dropped to their knees, desperately shaking one of their fallen comrades.

Justus threw.

Everything was wrong: his breathing, his concentration, his unsteady hands. His pilum missed, overshooting the kobold group.

Pila continued to be thrown. Crossbow bolts continued to fire.

Justus ducked back down into the brush. He stared at his hands. They wouldn't stop shaking. They couldn't stop shaking. Behind him, the kobolds yelped and growled as they were killed, one after the other.

Justus slammed his fist against the ground. What was happening to him? Why couldn't he calm down?!

A pained dog's howl split the air. He could barely hear it over the sound of his beating heart.

Silence reigned. It hadn't even been a minute, but to Justus, it felt like an entire bell had passed.

He felt nauseous.

The kobold howled once more.

With still trembling hands, Justus peered over the bush.

The kobold squad of 8 had been annihilated. They lay bloody and dead, crossbow bolts in their eyes and fur, entire pila piercing their bodies.

One kobold still howled... in dying agony, but clearly alive.

It was the first kobold, which Zehr had speared.

No, that was impossible. It was inconceivable.

How could Decanus Zehr miss? Was this another trick? A theatrical farce?

A low chuckle emanated from nearby. It was from the grey bearded Munifex, Modestus.

"With all due respect, Decanus, you're a damned bastard," The old man sighed and shook his head. The action made him look... old. Tired.

Zehr rolled his eyes, "On account of the situation, I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Brother-Immortal."

Rena put an uncharacteristically gentle hand on Justus' shoulder, "Hey... hey, are you okay, Justus?"

Justus felt sick. He was shaking. His eyes were hot with tears.

The sound of a howl echoed in his head. The kobold was in excruciating pain. It was dying. It screamed for help. It begged for release. He locked the sound away in his brain, a mournful song he'd never forget for the rest of his life.

"If you're going to vomit, Munifex..." Zehr commanded in a low voice, "Don't."

Justus felt the bile rise to his throat... but he forced it back down, swallowing his weakness with an audible gulp.

Sweat ran down his forehead, dripping onto the dirt in rivulets.

Zehr held out his arm, "Don't. He can handle it."

"But Decanus..." Gianna complained.

"If you don't think he can handle it, then go ahead. But the two of you will be returning to the cohort," Zehr warned.

Justus looked up with blurred vision. Gianna's blue eyes pleaded with him, praying that he'd be okay. But she didn't move to help him.

Justus slammed his arms into the dirt, "I'm... I'm okay."

"You're not, right now. But you will be," Zehr nodded. "Brother-Immortal, lend Munifex Justus your waterskin."

Modestus sat Justus up and lifted the waterskin to his mouth.

Justus drank heavily. Tears dropped down from his eyes and down his cheeks.

"You're a good kid, Justus. Happens to everyone," Modestus reassured him.

"Brother-Immortal, I told you to give the young man a drink," Zehr growled. "Not to treat him like a child."

Justus felt his heart pound in shame as his eyes began to water again.

"You get used to it..." Justus heard Gianna's sweet voice, marred by a hint of her own troubled experiences, "We all do."

Justus bared his teeth. The Shield Maiden had confided in him that she joined the forward group because she knew he was going to volunteer. A heavily armored class didn't make sense in the scout group, otherwise... Did she know this would happen?

He took hold of Modestus' waterskin, gargled some water and spat it out. Still, the acrid taste didn't leave his mouth-- it stuck in his throat.

He felt ashamed. He felt useless. He felt sick. He felt like he should have never left home. He felt like he should have taken up farming or a trade, instead...

His title, Hero of Leopardon, felt like a joke. His entire life leading up to this point felt like it was a cruel joke.

He turned to Zehr and bowed his head low, "I'm... I'm sorry, Decanus."

"Lower your voice," He growled. "Apologize at sun's end."

The dying kobold howled again, a bit weaker, but the high-pitched sound reverberated throughout the forest.

Zehr took a deep breath and exhaled through his nostrils, "There will be plenty more chances for you to redeem yourself. For now, focus on getting your shite together, Munifex... And save your tears for when we're safe at camp-- if there's any left by then."

Justus gathered the phlegm in the back of his throat and spat, "I... I don't understand, Decanus... Why?"

"You're in a state of shock, young Munifex. As your tent-mates have alluded to, it's completely normal," Zehr's voice held no emotion, but the calm explanation managed to rattle Justus' brain back into rational thought.

"It's... it's not over?"

"It is not. I'm hoping to take out at least 3 squads in this manner," Zehr answered.

Justus tried to struggle to his feet, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, "I... there's one more. Let me--"

Zehr's firm hand grasped his shoulder and forced him back down, "That won't be necessary, Munifex."

Justus' eyes shot open, "But... why? It's dying. It's no threat to us."

Modestus clicked his tongue and turned away. Gianna, too, grimaced and refused to meet his eyes.

"I... I don't understand either, Decanus," Rena's voice squeaked, soft and uncertain.

The Decanus narrowed his eyes, "Is that so?"

The archer grimaced, lowering her head and pulling in her shoulders, "Please tell us, Decanus."

Zehr crossed his arms and shook his head, "Brother-Immortal, inform the Munifices of your reasoning for calling me a bastard."

Justus looked over to the grizzled old man and swallowed hard.