Chapter 98 - Blaming Herself

"We should get to making and eating lunch now," Madeline reminded the two of them, who had been thinking that same exact thing. 

"Finally, we get to the topic of lunch," Briar said, breathing a sigh of relief. 

For a moment, she thought she'd be stuck talking about Emilio for ages. Fortunately, Madeline had switched the topic to lunch. 

"So, what are we thinking? Does anyone have any ideas on what to eat for lunch or are we just making what's most convenient for us?"

Indiana suggested, "Why don't we just do the second option."

"Agreed, whatever's the fastest route to food," Briar said excitedly.

She loved food. And eating.

And thanks to her inhuman metabolism, she wouldn't gain any weight from eating tons and tons of food. One of the best parts of being a werewolf and having a sweet tooth. 

At the same time, Briar just discovered Indiana was an excellent baker. 

How sweet! 

All it took was one bite of Indiana's cupcakes and Briar knew that Indiana was someone she'd want to stick around. Not just because of her superior baking skills, of course, but for other reasons as well. 

Indiana was great company as well. 

Briar was grateful to have found herself a new friend that was a fellow werewolf. 

Other than Adrian, of course. 

Madeline couldn't help but tease Briar about her and Adrian whenever he was brought up so she tried her best not to talk to Madeline about Adrian. Ever. 

Couldn't two werewolves be friends without having to mate or being romantically interested in each other? Geez. 

Madeline would constantly tease Briar about Adrian. 

However, when Briar did the same about her and Xavier, Madeline would deny, deny, deny.

'Oh come on, they're friends, they also happen to be mates. And there definitely has to be something between them. Friends don't just kiss the other on the cheek and runoff. Xavier doesn't allow people to just kiss him on the cheek and runoff. Not without receiving punishment, or a lecture, or something.' 

'Don't get me wrong, Xavier isn't some heartless person, he was the person who saved me and gave me another chance at life but whenever he's around Madeline he's all different. He's more kind and considerate, pretty sure he blushes a lot around her too.' 

'Hmm, if Madeline and Xavier were ever to literally tie the knot. What would their ship name be?' 

'Madeline plus Xavier would be… Mavier. Yeah, Mavier.' 

'Their ship name would be Mavier.'

Something Briar had picked up when she went to university was the term, 'ship name'. 

The combination of two people's names, especially two people others wanted to see in a romantic relationship or two people who were already in one. 

Briar chuckled thinking about Madeline and Xavier together. They were quite different. But then again, there was the term 'opposites attract' for a reason. It was proof that even the most different of people could fall in love with one another. Even if it was against all odds. 

And hey, they were mates. So even if they tried denying the hell out of it, even fate rooted for them. 

Then again, knowing Madeline, she was terrified. 

Not terrified of Xavier, let's get that clear. But afraid of love. 

Now one would ask, 'Why would she be afraid of love?' 

Well, she wasn't afraid of love itself, but afraid of being heartbroken. Afraid of her fictional perception of love getting torn apart once she fell in love herself. 

That, and Madeline's insistence that she had not found the right person yet. 

What Madeline had in mind and what fate had planned were two different things entirely. In fate's eye, why would Madeline look any further when the man planned to be her forevermore was right in front of her?

Because she believed that one should love all because their mate is right in front of them, but because of who they were. She believed in that. In love that was so true that in her eyes, it could only be found in novels, and movies, etc. It couldn't possibly become true. 

Madeline didn't think she deserved the blessing of true love. Not when she'd done nothing to deserve it her whole life. 

Briar begged to differ, Madeline did deserve the gift of love. 

The difference between Briar and Madeline was that Madeline thought herself unworthy, whilst Briar cursed at the skies, wondering why she deserved to go decades without ever having a mate. 

After so much time, she made up her mind. That fate thought her unworthy. That, or it had something else in mind for her. Something greater. 

Back when she was a human, Briar was taught to believe that a soulmate was one of the best things life had to offer to you. Nothing else would beat having someone to spend hours laughing with, and a whole lifetime of being happy with them in general. It would be a life truly lived.

'A soulmate was known as one's other half for a reason. That person would be the person you relied on and rested your head on through tough times. A person that would stick by your side no matter what.' 

'Unfortunately, I've never had the pleasure of meeting that one person. And even if I had, fate seems to have something against me.'

Perhaps Briar was being ungrateful. Fate had brought her here, so that was one thing.

And no, fate wasn't as cruel as Briar was making it out to be. Maybe it was under the impression that she was better suited without a mate. 

Briar was a strong, powerful person. 

She recalled something Madeline once told her. 

They were at a cafe, sipping on coffees whilst they talked about life during a time Madeline still didn't know Briar was a werewolf. 

"So, what kind of person do you think I am?" Briar asked her out of nowhere. 

"Why ask?" 

"Just curious," Briar answered casually before she bit into a croissant. 

Madeline didn't think about it for a second, already having an answer in mind. 

"You're amiable, resilient, charming, affable, strong in the face of danger…"

"And how would you know that last bit?" Briar asked, scoffing whilst having a smirk on her face. 

Madeline smiled, "Educated guess."

"Moving on."

"You care deeply about others and wouldn't let anyone harm the ones you care about, you're direct and honest, you say what you really think and feel. Not only that, you're dependable too."

Madeline laughed, "I would've had to pull more sleepless nights if it weren't for you." 

Briar chuckled, "We're friends, we help each other out."

"But thank you for saying all those things about me."

"Hey, I'm only being honest here," Madeline admitted, with a smile on her face that could light up the sky. 

[Author's Note: And here marks the end of the flashback. Everything moving on occurs during the present.] 

Thinking about how Madeline behaved in the past was quite painful for Briar. 

Madeline was so happy before. Way before she discovered werewolves existed and that Xavier was her mate. It was a peaceful time in her life - her uni days. She and Briar were able to spend their sweet, sweet time together. They had their joyous moments, their sad moments… 

Briar had barely seen Madeline smile these days.

When she was around her and Indiana, Briar had seen her smiling, but… 

She was once under the impression that it was her and Xavier who had caused her all of this. 

Madeline wouldn't have been in this situation if it wasn't for her and Xavier.

Xavier wasn't the only one who caused this, so was she. 

Sure, Madeline was given the choice to stay or leave, and it was her who chose to stay, but Briar couldn't help but think that if it wasn't for the factors that made Madeline stay… She wouldn't have nearly gotten killed multiple times. 

Briar was a factor, she knew that. A part of the reason why Madeline stayed was to accompany her friend and rekindle their friendship. 

Even when it was Briar's fault. 

'It was me who left Madeline. Me.' 

'If I hadn't left her for Eudora… If I had just explained… Maybe she wouldn't have felt debted and burdened to stay.' 

This was how Briar functioned, blaming herself for everything and feeling burdened albeit it was her friend who made those choices in the first place, not her herself. 

Madeline had once told her that her blaming herself would become a big problem, seems like it would turn out to be one.

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Author's Note: So, I've been thinking about a mass release to celebrate the upcoming new year. Can you guys believe it? It's about to be 2022 soon, crazy! It felt like yesterday it was 2021. Love you guys all so much, see you at the next chapter, author out. 

P.S.. I'm going to stop writing these author notes, I know how annoying I must be, writing these long author notes that take up space, I promise I'll stop soon.