Chapter 119 - My first kiss was with a dog

"Haru, I am telling you. Takeshi is terrible. He told me that my first kiss was with a dog." Iori complains to Haru. "That's not all. He kissed me. Then, he said that he did it because I would date anyone who would take my breath away. Is something wrong with him?"

Haru lets out a sigh. Why he is suffering for other's sins? He feels like the innocent child whose parents are fighting. Takeshi has stopped talking to Iori. He won't even sit with him if she's there. The cold war is happening. His brain cells are going dull. She's been complaining to him for days.

"Iori, he is not wrong though. It's true that it wasn't your first kiss with a human being. By the way, is he a good kisser?"

Good kisser? She purses her lips, thinking about that moment. The way he kissed her... her heart made doki-doki sound. Her body also felt strange. It was sort of pleasant.

Also, weird. It's Takeshi. It's hard to accept. 

She inhales sharply. "He's a horrible kisser." 

But Haru isn't listening to her. "What's Takeshi doing with Lina?"

"Lina?" She turns around to see. In the other corner, Takeshi is sitting beside Lina, Iori's number one enemy. Lina has a long term crush on Takeshi. Ever since the first year of high school, she kept making moves on him. Takeshi ignored her. Back then, the whole school thought that Takeshi and Iori were going out. 

"I can't believe this." Iori's eyes become round and big. "Because of him, I suffered for so long. Now, he is hanging out with that girl."

"It seems like they are dating," Haru tells her thoughtfully. Lina is slightly leaning toward Takeshi, whispering something in his ear. Takeshi nods with a straight face.

She slams the table. "Kissing me last week and starting to date another girl today? What's wrong with him?"

"How long can he wait for a thickheaded girl with unnatural expectations of men?"

Shit! He slipped. Will Takeshi kill him? Takeshi already sort of confessed to Iori though.

"Thickheaded girl, who?" She didn't know that Takeshi really liked her. "Me?"

It's funny how she naturally assumed that she's the thickheaded girl with unnatural expectations of men. Haru takes a large bite of the sandwich. 

"Haru, that's impossible." She sits down on the chair, looking in Takeshi's direction. Was he serious that day? This feels strange. Does that hedgehog love her? "If he likes me, why is he with Lina?"

Haru stares at her. He knew that things would turn out like this. "Don't worry about him. He will come around and become our friend again. I am going to class. Are you coming?"

"Wait." She grabs his sleeve. "How long has he...?"

"I noticed it when we were in middle school." Haru wonders if it's okay to say all this. Then, he needs to push this thickheaded girl a bit. "It doesn't matter, right? Takeshi can never be your ideal man. He finally accepted that fact and decided to move on."

***

The days go by quietly. Kiyohira is mad at me for doing what he wants me to do. He leaves home early and comes back late. I have nothing to say to him. If I could fight, I would fight him and escape. He's hardheaded about not letting me out. My last wish to deal with Chisa is taken away. 

I haven't been able to choose a single person to become his second wife. These women might be a lot better than me, but I can't imagine him with someone else. After thinking a lot, I can't let him touch another woman.

Having less to do, I only observe him. When he is working on his tie, his movement is smooth. There's tiny freckle in the corner of his right eye. He doesn't take much time in grooming and yet, he can manage to look like he's a runaway model. 

"If you give me away to another woman, you will lose this whole package permanently." He tells me teasingly, "You will never find another man like me."

I press my palm on his shirt, smoothening the fabric. I look up when I am done. He is watching me intensely. We haven't been intimate since the day he drowned my laptop. At first, he wouldn't come to me because I was sick. Then, he's mad at me for being serious about finding his second wife.

I don't know what's he doing with Chisa. But he's doing everything for me.

His lips press against mine. It's mellow and needy at the same time. In his warm embrace, I close my eyes and forget about the thorny collar around my neck for a moment. 

He keeps taking away what I have known all my life. He forces me to change. Because of him, my world has been taken away from me. He's there in this space that I am forced to share with him.

Then, he pulls away from me, leaving me cold. He kisses my forehead. "After a few days, our life will become normal. I will take you to beautiful places in the world."

These days, my heart feels heavy whenever I see him leave.

That day at the temple, he said that he didn't want the woman he loved to remember her nightmare. It was fine with him to remain forgotten by her. I didn't remember him back then and yet, I was envied that woman he talked about. 

I sigh and take a glance at the piles of photos of women. 

With these thorns around my neck, is my heart capable of loving him back? 

"Can I love you back, Kiyohira?" I whisper to myself. "Do I already love you? Is that why I am like this?"

I keep thinking about him all day. I have started to want and hope. I wonder about the beautiful places that he wants to show me.