44 You might end up giving her new scars

"miss, please don't do this," harumi begs me.

i ignore her and remove the iv. who brought me back to the hospital? this is the most hateful place in the world. why do i keep showing my weaknesses to the kamiyama family?

"where is your master?" i ask her with a low voice.

"he is talking to the doctor, miss." harumi looks at my wrist. "i will call the nurse. please stay here. you are still weak."

after she leaves to call the nurse, i walk to the doctor's office. harumi i need to tell kamiyama that i can't work with chisa. i will never ever share the same breathing space with her. if he tries to force me, i don't know what i will do. i am already on the verge of losing my mind.

"i see." i hear his deep voice. i stand close to the door to hear their conversation.

"from what i heard, she might be like this because of the deep scars on her heart. it could be related to childhood trauma." i hear the doctor's voice. "mr. kamiyama, it is better if you show care when you are with her. forcing her might cause more incidents like this."

kamiyama already knows. is that why he brought her in front of me? that must be it. this cruel man can do anything to achieve his goal. he wants to torture me for ruining his family's reputation. it makes sense now. why would chisa appear before me like this? i also met miwako at the hospital when i was here a few days ago. i thought that it was a coincidence.

i was wrong. they are all in this together. he is probably sent by chisa herself. they seem close too. sending that reporter, breaking my house, dragging me to the kamiyama family, lying and sleeping with me, taking me to the restaurant, the wrong train, acting nice and strange at the same time, and the gaming company... it makes sense now. it's all planned by chisa and kamiyama.

***

"master, miss takeuchi is gone!" harumi barges into the office. "i can't find her anywhere."

kamiyama grimaces at her. "i told you to not leave her alone for a single second."

harumi kneels on the floor. "it's my fault. please punish me."

"isn't it the second time?" the doctor sighs. "calm down, mr. kamiyama. we will look for her."

that girl! why does she always run away like this? kiyohira takes a deep breath. "close all the exits. she can't leave the hospital. i want her to get treated."

"um... mr. kamiyama, her mental illness can't be treated in one day. you can't force her to go through therapy. forcing her might make it worse. you have to be extremely cautious when you are with her. otherwise, you might end up giving her new scars," the doctor says slowly. "i agree that we should find her first."

kiyohira squeezes his eyes close. he hasn't been cautious with her. he might have done something worse. he thought that she would be happy if he gives her a job that is related to video games. instead of being happy, she turned out like this. when it comes to her, all of his actions are just wrong.

"i won't force her to anything anymore," he tells the doctor. "find her first."

***

i lean toward the window. i managed to run away from the hospital. kamiyama was busy talking with the doctor. harumi was busy looking for the nurse. i escaped before they could find out. i can't stay anywhere near chisa or kamiyama. both of them wants to turn me into their toys. i won't let them win in this lifetime. if i can't fight them, i will rather die.

i thought that my hell was over when chisa had to move away because her mother remarried during the second year of high school. i didn't see her again. without chisa, miwako was nothing. still, i hated going to school. i barely managed to graduate. i thought that i would never see chisa again. she must have planned the scandal to bring me out of my house. i can't trust anything anymore.

i don't know where this train is going. my destination is anywhere i can breathe.

"ah, we meet again." a joyful voice wakes me out of my thoughts.

"who?" i shift closer to the window.

"don't remember me?" the man is in his late fifties. his eyes twinkle when he smiles. "i shaved my beard."

"that homeless old man who lived under the bridge?" i ask hesitantly.

"haha, yes!" he gives me a thump up. "i am homeless though."

he is not wearing rags today. he is dressed in a clean black suit. he is wearing thick-rimmed glasses and a hat. it's another coincidence that i am meeting him here.

i ask him suspiciously. "are you stalking me?"

"what?" he looks at me with shock. "of course, not. i am visiting my daughter. i told you about her last time. look."

he shows me his ticket. "i am going to f city."

i look at mine. i am going to ka city. it's 13 hours journey. fine. "sorry for the misunderstanding."

"are you running away?"

i stare at the old man. what's his problem? is it an occupational hazard that he can't stop asking questions? "old man, i am not your patient."

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"aish! i am just trying to have a conversation." he seems slightly irritated. "did something happen recently?"

"stop talking." i already have a headache. his voice sounds like sandpaper rubbing against the whiteboard.

"take this." he brings out a pill bottle from his bag and places it in front of me. "it's good for calming the mind. i don't have any other medicine for your problem right now. i will write a prescription. you should get them if you don't want the symptoms to get worse. by the way, how long has it been since you stopped your medications?"

"i won't take medicines from strange old men. i don't want the prescription either." i hate people like this the most. my grandfather forced me to see one when i was in middle school. i hated eating those pills. i stopped after he died during my high school years. it's been years. i was fine for all these years. "how do you know that i used to take medication?"

"i can tell." he picks up the pill bottle and puts it back into his bag. "see someone before it gets bad."

it's better if it gets bad.

"someone would be upset if something bad happens to you." he doesn't stop speaking at all. "that young man seemed worried about you."

that young man is kamiyama who jumped into the river like a fool. for a moment, i also thought that he was worried about me. it's all a lie.

"you are mistaken, old man." i chuckle. "i am going to sleep. don't bother me."