52 She's in this condition because of you

"my parents have taken loans for the surgery." ren keeps lying and she believes him without a question. "my brother will get well soon. his surgery is next month. rie chan, don't think about those things. tell me. does it hurt anywhere? your head is okay?"

she touches her forehead. "i will get back my memories, right? i feel uneasy that i forgot so much. the world hack series is canceled. my grandmother went to see my father. your brother is getting surgery next month. we are on a trip. we also got into an accident. i feel like i am an old person who lost something important."

ren's lips tremble. he can't meet her eyes. kiyohira texted him to keep pretending. but, how long can he do that? lying to her feels worst when she is looking at him like that. he left this rie when he went away. this rie who loved him wholeheartedly. she would only look at him. her gaze is sweet. it makes him feel bitter. he lost something precious because he was a coward.

"you didn't bring me the juice." she scowls at him. "i am thirsty."

"i am sorry. i will get it now."

ren finds kiyohira outside. kiyohira silently hands him the juice.

"you brought it." ren thanks him and runs back inside. after giving her the juice, he leaves the room immediately and sits beside kiyohira. both have a lost look on their faces. rie drinks the juice slowly and admires silver outlines of the mountains in the sky.

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***

"we meet again." dr. umezaki points at the empty seats in front of him. "take a seat."

kiyohira frowns at him. "you are that homeless man?"

dr. umezaki grins at him. "you recognized me. i was on a vacation. fortunately, i am not homeless."

"both of you know each other?" ren raises his brow. the doctor seems a bit odd to him.

"ahahaha! he left quite an impression. jumping from the bridge to get to his woman... if only you have applied a little caution and care when you were dealing with your woman, we wouldn't be seeing like this." the sarcasm in dr. umezaki's tone could even cut the iron. "are you curious about why she has amnesia?"

kiyohira stares at him. ren gives him a nod.

"she locked herself in her mind," dr. umezaki tells the men with a polite smile. he has heard the entire story from both men. when he met the girl on the train, he already knew that she was at her limits. if she had listened to him and agreed to get the prescription, it could have been delayed a bit.

perhaps, not. looking at these two fools, he is sure that the girl suffered a lot.

he points at kiyohira. "you gave her a shock when you destroyed her safe place. then, you forced her to go to unfamiliar places. she didn't turn into a hikikomori because she was a lazy person. did it never occur to you that she must have been hurt by the world and that's why she isolated herself in her house? you judged her for her life and destroyed that life in a second."

kiyohira doesn't look away. he listens to all of his mistakes. he can't deny a single one. he has destroyed the woman he loves.

he continues, "when she was barely adjusting, you gave her another shock by changing her job. you were going to force her to cooperate with your friend, chisa. then, you gave her the third shock when you tried to force her to go back with you. you should have understood the sign when she blacked out for the first time at the restaurant. she's in this condition because of you."

dr. umezaki glances at ren who is looking down at his hands like a puppy. "you are no better. you gave her a shock when you told her that you left her because she was broken. she was already going through a hard time. under these circumstances, even a normal person would break into pieces. what have you been doing a person who already needed all the love and care in the world? her mind went back to the year that was probably the most peaceful year of her life. even if it was only for a single moment, she must have been happy that day."

"how do i help her?" kiyohira asks him quietly.

"give her time. i will start the treatment. it's better if you don't take her back to t city. her illusion can't be broken suddenly. we have to help her come out gradually." dr. umezaki doesn't feel any sympathy for these two men. "don't make any mistake. your one mistake might further break her. keep her away from anything that triggers her trauma."

kiyohira's chest tightens. so, he can't appear in front of her.

"take her to this address." dr. umezaki gives ren a card. "it's a farmhouse in f city. she will be safe there. if you don't mind, mr. kawamoto, stay beside her for a while. tell her that i am your uncle or something and you are helping me out with something. makeup something. she seems like she will believe you even if you say that the earth is flat."

ren takes the card. "dr. umezaki, isn't this too much? letting your patient stay at your farmhouse is a bit..."

"i treat my patients like my family members." dr. umezaki smiles kindly. "she reminds me of my daughter. i wouldn't be able to sleep if my daughter was in that condition. this is the only reason. mr. kiyohira, if you want, you can also visit her. i hope that you don't use your real name when you see her."