218 Did I say that I like you?

"please, stop!" ren raises his arm and pants for air. "i can't run anymore."

if this is what takeshi meant by payback, he will never ask for free food again. he will work hard to earn money for his food from now on. owing someone is scary.

seeing him like that, yamashina chiyo giggles. "why? you don't have any stamina left?"

"i can't outrun a crazy woman." ren sits down on the ground. he's too tired to move now. why is his luck so bad? first, it was nina. now, it's this rude coroner. who did he offend in his last lifetime? he does feel upset about nina's death, but nothing can change the fact that she abducted him before. she did change later. but she was killed right in front of him. he lowers his head. if he had known that her life was this short, he would have treated her better. one won't know when death knocks on one's door. that's why one should always mind their words and actions toward other people. 

"are you thinking about her?" 

he raises his head and finds her face only inches away from her. he shifts back in a hurry. "don't come any closer."

"are you also disturbed by the fact that i touch dead people?" yamashina chiyo shows a bone-chilling smile to him.

creepy! ren swallows hard. if she doesn't act like that, she can pass for a normal person. but she has to open her mouth and mention the things that would make other people feel uncomfortable. no, he shouldn't think like that. wasn't nina the same? nina was someone who dared to act like the way she wanted to be. it takes courage to be someone like that. nina was one of those people who don't fit in the world and yet, she didn't try to conform herself to fit in. yamashina chiyo is also one of those people who don't hide their true selves. 

"no." he looks straight into her eyes without fear. "i don't find it disturbing or odd. so, you dissect dead people. how is that a big deal? it's your job. but, miss coroner, i wonder why you like to scare people away."

she lets out an exasperated sigh. why is this man so odd? "i don't like people. so, i like scaring them away."

"why do you not like people?" if she doesn't like people, then why the hell is she chasing him like a dog? what did he do to her? he only asked her not to call nina a corpse. 

"i don't like people because…" she sits down beside him and puts her head on his shoulder. ren purses his lips into a thin line. his body is being used as a pillow by a woman he doesn't even know well. "they are noisy."

"that's an odd reason." ren replies, "if there's life, there's noise."

"i agree." she closes her eyes. her head hurts. she wants to drink more for some reasons. she also wants to sleep and dream of nothing. "that's why i like the dead more. they are quiet. there's no noise."

she likes corpses because they are silent. ren exhales. "i am also a living being."

"did i say that i like you?" she mumbles.

"why the hell are you chasing me then?" he peeks at her face with curiosity. he didn't say that she likes him though. she's just drunk. he teases her, "i don't think that you chase all living beings."

"i am curious as to why that woman smiled in her last moment." 

he blinks his eyes. he didn't expect that. nina did smile during her last moment. that smile was content. why was nina happy during her last moment? he did nothing for her. in some ways, he's the reason behind her death. he was unable to save her.

he hasn't been able to save them. if he had probed rie-chan when they were young, he could have found out about chisa hashimoto. if he hadn't been a coward and ran away, she wouldn't have suffered the way she did. then, nina was also someone who was wronged by the world.

there will always be perpetrators. but, it's the witnesses who can decide a victim's fate. if the witnesses take actions, they can save someone from breaking apart. it's true that it's not easy for the witnesses either, but even a single action can prevent someone from falling into despair. if people like him had acted in a different way in rie and nina's lives, they wouldn't have turned out the way they did. 

"she was happy during her last moment." ren whispers, "i don't know what she was happy about. but, i am glad that she was happy after suffering for so long. despite the way she was, she wasn't a bad person. she might have abducted me, but she didn't hurt me. she knew how to pay back what she owed. i saved her life once and she gave up her life for me."

how can he forget how she shielded him with her body when she could have used his body as a shield? 

yamashina chiyo didn't hear his words. she is already snoring. ren carries her on his back. "argh! she's heavy. what does she eat?"

he walks toward the place where he left iori and takeshi. when he reaches the spot, he finds them gone. erm! what had happened here? where did those two go? did they forget about him and miss coroner? 

what should he do now? where should he take this drunk woman? ren wonders again. again, who did he offend in his previous lifetime? why does he always end up in this kind of situations? is it karma for not saving rie when he could? 

it can't be helped. he won't ignore people from now on. if there's someone who needs his help, he will help. if he sees something wrong, he will speak up. if he meets a woman like nina or yamashina chiyo again, he won't run away. anyway, there's no point in running away. they like to chase him to the end.

---please read the author's note---