227 Diary of Christopher Ash - Part 4

during the dinner, i didn't see christie. nobody talked during dinner. my mother didn't even glance at me once. it was different from the dinners at my house. when my father was sober, he would act in a lively manner. i also loved watching ayaka's expressions when she saw her favourite food or the food that she hated. my mother wasn't always there, but she wasn't this cold when she was with my father and ayaka. in the end, i put away my thoughts. 

nothing much happened in the next few days.  my grandfather didn't talk to me. he seemed to be quite busy. my mother left home early with christie for the concertos. at night, she would visit me once and kiss my forehead while i pretended to be asleep. i felt a little guilty for saying those words to christie. i decided to treat adrian better. he was growing on me. we played and ate together, and also talked about books and other trivial things. he had no idea about my mother's relationship with christie. 

my mother must have loved christie a lot. she never told her father about ayaka and her husband, but her mistress knew.

it was like any other day. adrian and i were playing hide and seek. i was trying to find a place to hide. i was going to hide in one of the empty rooms when a maid approached me and said, "young master, that room needs to be cleaned. the maids will start working soon."

"adrian and i playing hide and seek. i am in a hurry." i told her, "i won't be a hindrance in your work."

the maid smiled at me. "young master, i know a better place. go straight and turn right. you can hide in the first room. that room has been cleaned already."

i thanked her and ran through the corridor. i found the room easily. i push the door open. the lights were turned on. there was a big bed in the middle with a spotless white bedsheet. i needed to hide. but i didn't want to make it difficult for adrian to find me. so, i opened the wardrobe and got inside. i must have sat there for thirty minutes before i realized that something was not right. adrian told me that the maids had never talked to anyone unless they were spoken to. i realized that the maid directed me to one of the rooms in the prohibited area. i was about to get out of the wardrobe and leave the room when i saw the door opening. i snuck back into the wardrobe.

"you were beautiful today." i heard christie's voice. i pushed the door of the wardrobe a little to peek at her. she was wearing a black shirt and a black trouser. her dark hair was loose. i saw resignation in her eyes when my mother's hand reached to caress her cheek.

my mother took off the glasses from christie's haggard face. "are you still upset with his words?"

"how do you know?" christie asked her, shocked. 

"i guessed." my mother gave her a little smile. "don't pay attention to a clueless boy's words."

"i wasn't upset because of him." christie denied, but i knew that my words affected her. "i am married to your father. it is true that he is adrian's biological father. you are someone else's wife. nobody in the world would ever accept our love."

"we don't need anyone's approval." my mother cupped her face. her voice is rather calm. "you were mine before you married my father. i know that you don't love him. you know that i don't love naoki. he is just a facade that i needed for my children because they can't understand yet. some years ago, he was getting a little ahead of himself. he wanted me to give up my career because he couldn't accept the truth that i was better than him. he wanted me to stay at home for the children. i made him stay at home instead. now, he can't even hold the violin with his trembling hands. he drinks all day and asks me to play the violin for him. if anna and christopher weren't young, i would have gotten rid of him already. "

anna was ayaka's other name. 

"i understand, but…" christie's voice cracks a little. "i can't take this anymore. dion, i have done everything that you told me. then, why we can't be together? how long do i have to live in this hell? let's run away with our children. we don't need the consortium. be with me and adrian. i will explain everything to him. he has a good heart. he will understand."

"we can't run away." my mother tells her with a solemn voice, "i am the president of the consortium. only my death can release my soul from the consortium."

"you shouldn't have taken the position." christie wrapped her arms around my mother's waist. "i hate it when your father touches me. he made me sleep with other men while you were gone. when you are not here, he becomes an uncontrollable beast. sometimes, he looks at adrian like he is looking at an ant that needs to be squashed. i am afraid for my son."

my mother stroke christie's head. "nobody will touch adrian."

"aren't you worried about our daughter?" christie looked up at her. "if sylvester ever finds out about her…"

"that will never happen. anna doesn't have what it takes to be an heir. i won't ever bring her here. if christopher keeps his mouth shut, nobody should ever find out about anna." my mother turned her back to her. "help me take off this troublesome dress."

i should have closed my eyes or looked away, but i didn't. i was still trying to absorb the information. my father's accident was orchestrated by my mother. so, the reason why my father turned into a drunken mess was that my mother was unhappy when he tried to make her give up her musical career. i didn't know who to blame. my father didn't do the right thing by asking her to give up her career. my mother wasn't a saint either. she didn't have to ruin a man in such a way.