Chapter 215 - Beautiful, I'm a mess

''She had few injuries on her wrists and elbows, mainly from being tied with strong ropes; and her limb bones were injured but we've done our best to fix it, no other major injuries were seen. ''

The doctor completed and Nicklaus's head fell;

''Can I see her now?'' He asked and the doctor nodded; ''sure, but she'll be moved to the ward first, she's still asleep now, but I think she'll be up in a few hours. ''

Nicklaus nodded, and the doctor walked past. A sigh left his lips as his eyes turned back to the emergency room.

Tiana was lying calm like a baby when he walked in; his throat tightened as he approached her bed. Her wrists and her knees were wrapped in a white bandage; and her face looked so pale. Looking at her lying on the bed, made him feel terrible; for a moment, staring at her made his eyes hurt.

He pulled himself to the side of the bed and sat down on the couch beside her, watching her intently;

''I'm so sorry�� '' His words were heavy as they left his lips, intense guilt clouded him and he couldn't help but look away from her with pain in his eyes.

...

Tiana's eyes fluttered and her brows creased when she looked up to the unfamiliar ceiling.

Where am I?

She asked herself, trying to lift her head from the bed, but she was met with a splitting headache which made her fall back on the bed;

''Beautiful… you're awake. ''

Nicklaus who was sitting with his head bowed asked when he heard a slight shuffling on the bed, Tiana turned to him and a smile washed her lips when she saw him;

''Baby… '' she called, trying to sit up from the bed but Nicklaus stood up immediately and stopped her;

''Just lie down now, you are not feeling too well. ''

Tiana blinked as the memories of what happened earlier came flooding back to her, she looked at him and when she saw the guilt in his eyes, she knew he was blaming himself for everything.

''Are you okay? '' he asked, shifting her hair away from her face, Tiana nodded;

''I'm fine, how long have I been asleep? ''

She peeked out the window and saw it was sunny,

''Up to ten hours, you must be starved, let me get you something to eat; ''

Tiana swallowed as she watched Nicklaus turn and leave the room quickly as though he was avoiding her. Her hands glanced at her wrists and her knees and she sighed. All her body hurt right now, but the most important thing was that she was safe, Tiana felt a bitterness fill her mouth when she remembered that that psycho had kissed her lips;

She raised her hand to her lips and rubbed on it irritatingly, goosebumps washing her skin. She felt like killing Liam at that moment, but that was not what bothered her the most, it was her husband. She was feeling physical pain right now, but she knew the pain he was feeling on the inside was a thousand times worse. She saw how he tried to avoid looking at her eyes; he was blaming himself for everything that happened to her.

The door opened and Tiana's eyes turned to see who walked in; a male doctor, followed by Nicklaus and an attendant carrying a tray of food;

''Tiana, you're awake. '' The doctor spoke as he approached her bed; ''how are you feeling? ''

He asked and Tiana nodded; ''I'm fine, ''

He nodded, and checked her temperature; '' do you feel pain anywhere? ''

''No, well except the obvious injuries. '' they both laughed;

''You slept for a while; you should eat something, okay? ''

Tiana nodded; ''I'll come back to check on you later. Nicklaus, can I see you outside for a minute. ''

Nicklaus acknowledged and Tiana watched them leave; her eyes widened when she saw the number of guards standing outside; oh boy, this was the end of freedom. 

After some time, Nicklaus came back into the room, he walked to her side and helped her sit up on the bed; Tiana watched his every move, he sat down beside her and rolled the table towards him;

Even without saying a word, she could feel the tension between them;

Nicklaus filled the spoon with food, bringing it towards her lips;

Tiana stared blankly for a second, ''give me the wipes; ''

She said and Nicklaus looked at her confused; he took the wipes but he did not give it to her, knowing her hands were injured;

''what do you want to do with it? ''

Tiana thought, he was already drowning in guilt, if she told him that that fool kissed her, it would not help him get out of the torment he was in.

''I just… I just want to clean my lips, it feels bitter. ''

Nicklaus's brows creased with worry but he did not pester, leaning close to her, he cleaned her lips with the wipes. Her eyes stared into his as he leaned close to her, all the excitement from wanting to see him after so long, gone. Right now, they could barely even have a conversation.

''Did he touch you. ''

Nicklaus asked as he cleaned her lips ever slowly, Tiana gulped; she was about to lie, but she could not help it right now; she was going to tell him the truth later, but not now.

She shook her head and Nicklaus nodded, putting away the wipes.

He resumed feeding her, and Tiana ate quietly like a hungry little baby.

''I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. ''

When the words left his lips, she was not surprised. She knew he was battling within him on how to tell her how much he was sorry.

''It's not your fault, baby, it's not your fault, don't blame yourself, '' Tiana tried to pacify him, but it seemed her words made it worse. Nicklaus placed the cup of water in his hands back on the tray and he gripped his hair with both hands.

''I couldn't protect you… Beautiful, no matter how much I tried I couldn't still protect you. ''

She felt her heart sink into her stomach; ''it's not true, please look at me, '' her brows creased sadly as she turned his face to stare at him;

''it's not your fault, listen to me, it could not have happened any other way. See, I'm alive, I didn't get hurt, don't hurt yourself over something you cannot change. ''

Nicklaus sighed, holding her palm on his face and kissing the insides;

''what if they had hurt you? What if something happened to you? Beautiful, you would never be safe with me, I'm a mess. ''

His Adam's apple bobbed as he explained with pain in his eyes; Tiana's lips fluttered but she could not say a word;

''Do you know how much I want to keep you by my side every single time? I can't bear the thought of losing you beautiful, it's killing me. ''

Tiana's eyes clouded with tears as she watched him painfully;

''Baby… ''

She tried to hold him, but Nicklaus stood up from the bed and paced around the room, his hand brushing through his hair.

''Beautiful, can't you see that I'm going to ruin you? ''

Nicklaus turned to her, the frustration in his eyes evident. Tiana gulped painfully;

''What are you trying to say? '' her voice quaked, as tears gathered up her lids. Nicklaus was quiet but she wasn't having it; this time she was angry;

''You want us to break up? You don't want me anymore? '' her voice rang through the room, and pain washed through her eyes;

''No, beautiful, I… ''

''I'm your wife! Your f.u.c.kin wife! We promised to be there for each other, through the good times and through the storms, why are you making a big deal out of this? I told you it's not your fault, why are you still blaming yourself? What is wrong with you? ''

Nicklaus stood at a spot as he watched his wife bark at him like never before;

''You keep saying you can't protect me, do you think anything is going to change if we break up? Why don't you understand that some things are definitely out of your control no matter how much you try to prevent it?

You came to me, that is enough. You saved me, can't you see it? Why do you keep blaming yourself? ''

Tiana was crying now, and Nicklaus who was standing in the room felt like a wet rat in the rain. Now he felt guiltier for making her cry,

''Beautiful, I'm so sorry… '' He apologized, walking towards her bed;

''Get out! ''

Tiana shouted, pointing towards the door. Nicklaus's lips fell open;

''uh? ''

''I said get out! I don't want to see your face! '' She screamed angrily; and Nicklaus bowed, turning to the door.

''And don't you dare come back here, or I'm going to kill you myself! '' she screamed;

Nicklaus wanted to go back and apologize, but knowing that she would flare up, and get a headache, he decided to just leave.