114 IT WAS HER MIND

Hu Lei looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. The image facing her was no longer of a worn out and barely human girl with physical markers of a hard life in a cold prison. She was a completely new person, a true lady of Supreme City.

She looked closer and nodded in satisfaction. The turquoise dress accentuated her body without looking vulgar. With her pocket-size figure and generous peaks, it was often difficult to find a dress which made her look mature without edging towards 'too much'.

However, her collection of dresses was large, and she had not been in public on too many occasions. Therefore, she had managed to dig up something that was fresh, professional and gorgeous.

While appearance was not everything, she felt more confident about the upcoming event in her current bedazzled state. After all, everyone knew that image was everything, especially when appearing before the judgemental public.

As this little lady continued to conduct some final touch-ups to her face, she fell into a daze of narcissism, looking at her own image.

She felt that she had become more beautiful over the last few months. In truth, it was not pure narcissism. Her rough and dried up skin which had been ravaged by prison life had become smooth, clear and supple. Her long black hair also had a vibrant sheen, like the finest silk. In addition, she was no longer malnourished and bony.

Three months ago, she had fainted unceremoniously for the second time in a short period after a confrontation with two shameless women. This incident had forced her to become more serious about her wellbeing.

She had realised just how fragile she had become and how vulnerable she was. A simple fight with people she should have been able to take out in a few seconds had actually rendered her unconscious! Even if there were other factors, it was not acceptable.

She had decided to focus on her wellness after realising that she might, once again, become a victim. And she refused to be weak. At the very least, if she succumbed to anything, she wanted to know that she had done everything to be strong.

However, her motivation was not entirely focused on her own concerns about being weak.

Her heart was weighed down by something else. When she had woken up at that time and seen Zhong Feng looking haggard and worried, she had realised that her health was not only her own. She had to think of him because he cared. She needed to stop behaving like a child who did not know what was good for them.

His appearance, at the time, reminded her of the moments when her father did something reckless. She would be tired after spending days and nights resolving his situations. Unfortunately, the same thing would happen over and over again, causing her to be in a constant state of worry.

She did not want to be the source of worry for Zhong Feng. She wanted to be his source of strength and a pillar of support for him. How could she do that without a body which could not hold up for a couple of days without collapsing?

Since then, her entire focus had been on recovering her strength.

She had begun following all of Doctor Shui's recommendations, and her commitment and effort had paid off. Her improved diet and light-impact exercise had helped her to build her strength. Her body was more flexible, and her muscle tone was great. She was not as strong as she used to be yet, but she was definitely stronger than most people.

Her aversion to hospitals was still strong. However, she did not miss the weekly check-ups which had been scheduled by the overly committed Doctor Shui. In addition, she avoided stressful situations which could trigger another incident as advised.

Doctor Shui had explained that emotionally intense situations could cause another accident. Moreover, if she continued to experience stress triggers and fainting spells, her mental condition could deteriorate. There might even be a psychotic break. Though he was not very specific, Hu Lei had understood.

The good doctor had also recommended therapy and continued to do so.

However, Hu Lei refused to think about it, in spite of his insistence. At first, she had fielded his recommendation with casual words. However, she knew that she was lying to him, so she had made it clear that she would not see a therapist or psychiatrist.

Her refusal was not because she believed that her mind was in the best condition. She would be a fool to believe that she was completely sane. After all, her nightmares still continued, and she could not sleep for more than three hours. Also, she sometimes had deep conversations with herself and not in the fun, talking to yourself way.

Also, it was not that she did not want to have her mind healed. It would be a relief to sleep like a baby, and she would like if her two personalities, which spent a lot of time in pointless conversations, became a simple full one. Sure, they did get along on most days, but no one wanted to have two minds in one brain.

However, she was still unwilling to provide anyone access to her mind. She had had enough of that when she was a child. Evil scientists had attempted to alter her brain and those of other children in a quest to create perfect little geniuses. As a result, she had no memories or feelings about her childhood.

Then, her mother had sent her to a mental hospital. Sure, it had been a week, but the doctors in that institution had been only too anxious to get started on the mystery of one of the freak children. She still remembered the experience.

She would be a fool to want a redo.

Even if a therapist was 'good', she did not want to be part of that kind of thing. After all, therapists would always try to shape their patient's minds to follow what they believed was healthy or right. But it was really their opinion based on personal biases. More importantly, their guidance was always so subtle that patients often believed that it was their idea to make certain changes.

Perhaps this form of manipulation might be helpful to some people. But Hu Lei was completely unwilling to have her mind, behaviours and psyche moulded by anyone, even by a person granted sainthood. Her mind was messed up and in complete disarray. But at least, it was her mind.

Hu Lei shook her head to eliminate the morbid thoughts. Instead, she decided to focus on her big occasion. It had been a long time coming, and she felt it was the right time. More importantly, Zhong Feng had spared no effort in making everything perfect.

Her face softened and her eyes became gentle as she thought about that outwardly cold man with the warmest heart.

She posed one last time in front of the mirror and smiled. The world was about to know her name.