Chapter 1135: Mind in Conflict But Heart is Decided

Lu Zihao lifted Long Jinjing and carried her out of the training grounds. She yelped in surprise but didn't struggle at all. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his strong shoulder. Her trust in him was very clear in her actions. His chest felt warm with confusing emotions but he held her closer to himself. 

He brought her to his private room in the headquarters. It was more like a suite than a regular room. The main area functioned as his office where his subordinates would usually go first to find him to report something. There was a small bedroom and ensuite bathroom as well. Everything in the place was simple and functional. There were no extra decorations.

After locking the door, he finally put her down on her own two feet. She still felt a little shaky so she continued holding on to him to stay steady. He didn't mind. On the contrary, he liked that she clung to him. 

He led her to the couch. "Sit."

She did. The couch was surprisingly comfortable despite looking plain like the rest of the office. She looked around. It looked like a typical office with a desk, a pile of documents on top of it, a desktop computer with three monitors, and an extra laptop computer. [Read official chapters on W e b n o v e l (dot) com. Please stop supporting piracy. Also follow author on Instagram: @arriacross]

Lu Zihao headed to a corner where there was a small fridge. He took out two bottles of iced tea before joining her on the couch.

While they were drinking, Long Jinjing blushed because Lu Zihao kept on staring at her. Feeling brave, she scooted over and leaned her head on his shoulder. She smiled when his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"Still afraid?" he asked in a devilish voice.

She nodded.

"But you still love me?"

Her smile grew wider. She nodded again. She tilted her head upwards and looked at him. "Now I know your secret, you have to take responsibility and protect me."

He chuckled. His deep, masculine voice was so devilish that it made her shiver in delight. He rubbed her cheek with his other hand. "That's what I'm planning to do anyway."

"Really?"

"Hm."

She now felt more relaxed despite everything that she had witnessed earlier.

"Jinjing, you don't mind that I've killed people before?" he asked in a neutral tone.

Her body stiffened but she clung to him even more. "I…" She bit her lower lip and thought for a few seconds on how to best respond to his question. "I need to think about this information regarding you first. I've…never encountered something like this before so give me some time to…uhm, get used to it, I guess?"

"You intend to stay with me?"

She straightened and glared at him. "What do you mean by that? You thought I'm going to leave you?"

"I have blood staining my hands, Jinjing. Lots of blood. I've already told you many times before that I'm a monster, someone that you shouldn't fall in love with because I can't give you the normal, happy life that you want."

Her eyes watered. "I d-don't care about having a normal life anymore. I just…want to continue loving you and…try to build a happy life with you even with…all this!" She swept her arms across the room before facing him again. "Can we do that? Can you try with me? Nikolai, can you try to love me, too? I promise not to betray you. Even if…our relationship still doesn't work out in the end…I won't breathe a word about what you're doing to others. I promise. So…can you give me a chance to stay beside you?"

He grabbed her iced tea and place it with his own bottle on the coffee table in front of them. Then he hugged her and pulled her to sit on his lap. 

They stared at each other. The atmosphere was becoming increasingly charged with electricity from their mutual desire for each other. 

"Jinjing, I should say no—"

Her face fell, her lips trembled, and a tear escaped from her eye. He wiped the tear with his finger.

"—because you'll be the safest away from someone like me. But…I don't know what's going on with me that I just can't seem to get rid of you from my thoughts no matter how hard I try."

She perked up upon hearing his words. She was pleased to know that he was also thinking about her. She thought that she was the only one who kept on thinking about him. 

"So even if it's against what I believe to be the right thing to do, I've decided to bring you into my world and show you the real me and see if you still want to stay with a monster like me."

Long Jinjing took both of his hands that were much bigger than her own. She rubbed the rough ridges of his scars and callouses before lifting his hands and kissing each of them.

"Jinjing," he whispered.

"Indeed, you're a monster, Nikolai."

His eyes darkened.

She looked at him straight in the eyes while continuing to rain light kisses on his hands. "But you see, I still love you. I don't know yet how to feel about learning that you've killed people before. My moral values are fighting against me and telling me to run far away from you as fast as possible but…my heart can't bear to stay away from you again. Nikolai, my mind is in conflict about you but my heart is already decided."

"Jinjing."

She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you, Nikolai, for showing me the real you. Even though you're a monster, I don't care. I love you, monster and all."

He moved to kiss her but then all of a sudden….

"Meowowow! Auntie Jinjing is super-duper to the highest level cool for continuing to be lovey-dovey with Uncle Haohao even if he's a scumbag! Hihihihi! Meow~"

"Uncle Zihao is now barely classy. Though he still has a long way to go to reach Father's level of classiness in treasuring his woman just like how Father treasures Mother."

"That's right, catfight! Meow~"

Lu Zihao's expression turned black. His nostrils flared and his teeth gritted at the interruption. He had the strongest urge to spank two fluffy kitty butts.