384 Not the Real Long Xiulan

The lovers, Iris and Jin Liwei, spent an enjoyable weekend staying at the hotel. For an entire day, they mostly stayed inside the suite making love over and over again. Their desire for each other was insatiable.

Jin Liwei decided to give his butler another raise because the man made sure to pack plenty of condoms. Both he and Iris already had a preference for a specific brand and type. The butler made sure to pack mostly that with a few experimental ones (just in case they wanted to try something new). His butler was truly a thoughtful person.

When the two were newly engaged and just returned to the country from Europe, they started making love regularly. Iris noticed that they were using up a lot of condoms. She thought of using birth control pills instead so Jin Liwei wouldn't have to use condoms anymore.

Months ago, she consulted Dr. Ching and her gynecologist. However, they became hesitant to prescribe pills for her. She had a history of sudden mood swings, fainting, and even going into coma two times.

Even up till now, they still had no idea what caused these health conditions. They were concerned that taking birth control pills or any hormonal medications might trigger her past health conditions once again or maybe even exacerbate them.

Of course, Iris knew what caused her so-called health problems. It was the original Iris' remnant, but she couldn't tell them that. They might send her to a psychiatrist instead.

Although she didn't think that the remnant completely went away after what happened with Fan Luo and the Alarm Girls, the original Iris' revenge for her death was already complete. Iris thought that the remnant shouldn't flare up again in a dangerous manner.

It most likely went into a dormant state after achieving revenge against Fan Luo. Iris hadn't felt it stirring since then. There were times when she became suspicious, especially when she met with Long Jinjing and the Long elders for the first time, but they were probably false alarms.

Iris still had no idea that the remnant opted for an inconspicuous fusion with her this time, instead of forcefully wrenching control of the body from her. She wasn't aware that the evolution of her own emotions because of the remnant was almost complete.

Once it was complete, the remnant would cease to exist as a separate entity but would indelibly be a part of her forever. There would no longer be any distinctions between her and the remnant.

Whether this evolution would strengthen or weaken her remained to be seen.

Back to the matter about the birth control pills, Iris personally didn't think that it would affect her health negatively. However, the doctors disagreed. They wanted her to undergo several tests first before they prescribed any pill to her. She thought it was such a huge hassle.

When Jin Liwei learned about the matter and the doctors' opinions about it, he started researching about birth control options. He was horrified reading all of the possible side-effects. He immediately discouraged Iris from taking birth control pills.

"Darling, not all women will experience those side-effects. Only very few will experience those and they're the most extreme cases. I think I'll be alright," she tried to assure him.

However, he wasn't buying it. "No, I don't want to risk it. Even if the possibility is only 0.01% or less, I don't want to risk you, love. You're too important to me. Besides, even your doctors don't want to prescribe them to you because of your past health history. So no, love. Let's stick to what we're using now, okay?"

Iris tilted her head to the side, thinking about it. She wanted to persuade him that her past health problems were not caused by anything medical. It was the remnant. However, she stopped herself.

How would he react if she told him that she wasn't the real Iris Long? Would he still love her? Would he think she was crazy? Would he leave her?

She suddenly felt scared. She had never loved anyone before like how she loved Jin Liwei. It was a different kind of love she felt for her Big Brother Nikolai and their father. Losing Jin Liwei now would certainly devastate her like no other.

"Hm? What's wrong, love?" he asked her, noticing the fear in her eyes. He pulled her into his arms to hug and comfort her.

She also hugged him by the waist. Her arms tightened around him, almost squeezing him painfully. However, he didn't mind. Then she pressed her face against his chest and inhaled his masculine scent.

"I love you, Jin Liwei."

A faint smile lifted the corners of his mouth. "I love you more, Long Xiulan."

Her heart jumped in an uncomfortable way.

'But I'm not the real Long Xiulan,' she thought.

'No, you are Long Xiulan now,' something whispered inside her. However, she thought that it was just her own thoughts.

"Love, tell me what's wrong." He was starting to feel worried by her increasingly dark expression.

She didn't answer right away.

He didn't force her to tell him. He just continued to embrace her, waiting for her to tell him whatever was bothering her on her own volition. If she told him, great. If not, it was alright. However, he hoped that she would tell him. He wanted them to openly share their feelings with each other.

They remained embracing for a few minutes before Iris spoke again. She looked up at him. Her dark expression was nowhere to be seen. It was completely impassive instead, which bothered him more than her earlier dark expression.

"What if I'm not the same person you thought I was?" she suddenly asked him in a whisper. "What if I'm not really Long Xiulan? How would you feel? Would you still love me?"

Jin Liwei frowned, completely confused by her questions.

"Never mind. Forget I asked," she said, lowering her eyes. Then she began to pull away from the embrace.

However, he didn't let her go. He lifted her chin with his fingers, coaxing her to look directly at his eyes.

"Although I don't know why you're suddenly asking me all of these, I want you to know that ever since the beginning, you weren't the person that I thought you were. I fell in love with the woman I met at that hotel lobby, not the Long Xiulan—the Iris Long that I kept on hearing about from other people."

She once again tightened her arms around him, gazing up at his face.

"I fell in love with the woman who asked me for a million RMB per report, the woman who bit my lips when I first kissed her, the woman I had half a sex with inside my car, the woman who measured my dick with a tape measure during our first night on bed together…"

A giggle escaped from Iris' lips remembering that moment she nonchalantly measured him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

His expression became gentle as he rubbed her back and stroked her hair. He continued speaking, "I fell in love with the woman who made me dance in a Zumba class, the woman who made me a father of two precious kittens, the woman who kneed my poor balls and dick because I was being a possessive asshole, the woman who made me eat fruits every day to experiment on the taste of my semen, the woman who—"

"That's enough. I understand," she whispered, chuckling softly. A lovely smile shone on her face, making her beauty even more breathtaking in his eyes.

However, he still continued. "I fell in love with the woman who made me the man that I am today. Without you, I would still be the same asshole that I was before. I am a better man now because of you."

Her eyes filled up, but she didn't let the tears fall. His words touched her deeply, filling her with the warmth of love and happiness. He calmed the doubts and fear inside her.

"So whoever you are or whatever kind of person you were or end up becoming in the future, I am in love with you and you alone. Even if you end up becoming the most evil person in existence, I'll still stay beside you and love you until the end of time," he told her, his voice serious and sincere.

"Oh, Liwei."

"Look at me."

"I am looking at you," she replied.

"Never doubt my love for you. Even if we die and are reborn into different people, I'll make sure to find you and love you all over again."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Really?"

"Yes."

She took a few deep breaths and asked, "What if…I wasn't really Long Xiulan in the first place? What if I was somebody else before this? What if…what if I disappear and the real Long Xiulan returns? Would you continue to love Long Xiulan because of this body?"