7 embracing sin part 3

The next day came and I was excited. I made sure I looked really good by checking myself on the mirror from time to time and when the doorbell finally rang, I made sure I was smiling my brightest as I rushed to open the door. I didn't know why Ian just didn't come in since this was also his house and when I opened the door, I knew why.

"H-hi…"

A pair of almond eyes stared back at me from the doorway, and my smile vanished replaced by confusion.

What was Lee Yunho doing here?

I wondered to myself as I met his gaze, which was so intense it felt like he was memorizing how I looked.

"I-um…" I couldn't find the words to say. I had spent weeks trying to forget this person and all of a sudden he was at my doorstep.

As if coming out of his trance, Yunho broke eye contact as he shook his head.

"Ehrm… Ian suddenly had a meeting with his investors, so he asked me to take you to the boutique instead."

The rich baritone of his voice was pleasant to my ears and I found myself blushing like a fool as I nodded.

I knew I should feel disappointed with Ian but I guess it really couldn't be helped. Smiling awkwardly, I let him tag along as I did my chores, and hoped that my sanity remained intact when this day ended.

~

"Is-is th-this o-okay?"

Oh great. I was turning into a blabbering idiot.

Feeling the strength of his gaze as he examined me from head to foot in my wedding dress, I felt embarrassed once more, and I cast my eyes downwards, focusing on the tips of my shoes as I shifted from one foot to another. There was this nervous feeling again – making my heart beat erratically inside my chest, and I wondered once more what the heck was wrong with me.

"I guess it will be better if you stop moving so I can take a better look."

His teasing tone made me stop and look up and my heart made a flip-flop seeing him smiling at me, with his perfect teeth flashing in the sunlight from the open window.

"You look…beautiful. My cousin's a lucky man," he told me honestly, and I felt myself blushing like an idiot once more.

"T-thank you…"

As I turned my back on him, ready to change to my clothes, I finally realized what was wrong with me. I had fallen in love with my fiancé's cousin.

Weeks passed, and Ian went on his business trip. In his absence, I was exposed to rumors about his philandering, and my anxiousness grew each time I heard of his transgressions. It wasn't nice learning that your fiancé had slept with most of the female staff, and it was quite disturbing that Ian hadn't stopped even after we got engaged.

I was on my way to Yunho's office as we were planning to pick up the wedding invitations, and decided to meet up here, when I heard people talking. Normally I wouldn't dare eavesdrop on others, but as they mentioned my fiancé's name I couldn't help but be curious.

"Heard Ian was having a great time in Jeju," one man said maliciously which made me frown.

I didn't know Ian was in Jeju. My fiancé said he was going to the US, so he wouldn't be able to call much because of the time difference.

"Who wouldn't have fun when he's got a pretty little thing with him?"

"Lucky bastard. He gets to have all the beauties including that poor fiancé of his," another man commented which made me walk away fast until my knees weakened, that I had to lean against the wall for support.

Somehow deep inside I knew Ian wasn't being faithful, but it was still shocking to hear it being said out loud.

"Are you okay?" The gentle voice which spoke behind me was followed by a soft touch and I just found myself being turned around.

"Jae?"

I looked up slowly at Yunho, and seeing the tender expression on his handsome face, a terrible sadness assailed me. It was ironically funny how fate could play a sick joke on people. Here I was secretly pining for this wonderful man when I'd be marrying his deceitful cousin in three weeks' time.

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Just thinking about it hurt, and I couldn't stop the tears from filling my eyes.

"Hey," he whispered softly to me as he reached out and wiped away a tear with his thumb.

"Let's go inside," he said as he pulled me towards his office and made me sit on one of the comfortable couches there.

"What's wrong?" he asked me softly and I shook my head and bit my lip.

What could I say? Everything was wrong. Falling out of love with the man I promised to marry was wrong. Falling in love with his cousin was worse. Going through with the wedding in spite of these things was the worst. I didn't know what to do.

"Jae?"

Realizing I couldn't continue acting like this in front of Yunho, I gathered myself and managed a small smile as I apologized.

"Sorry. It must be the nerves. Wedding Jitters," I stated lightly and I didn't know if I was imagining things, but Yunho's face somewhat saddened and he glanced down from my face to the diamond ring I was wearing on my finger as he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it must be that," he agreed.

Silence hung between us for a while until I decided I couldn't stay near him anymore. My chest continued to hurt and I didn't want to burst when Yunho could see me. There were just too many things in my mind right now, and I needed to sort them out alone.

There was no point in dragging Yunho into the mess I was in. He didn't do anything bad. In fact, he had been too kind assisting me the way he did, when it was Ian who was supposed to be doing all those. It wasn't Yunho's fault that I was feeling this way. It wasn't.

"I think I should go," I said as I stood up and turned to leave, but Yunho reached out and grabbed my hand much to my surprise.

Judging from his face when I looked at him, he was surprised by his action too, and he immediately let go as if burned. "W-what about the invitations?"

Oh. Of course he would ask me about those. It was after all the reason why I came here in the first place. Then again, I was in no mood for that now.

"So sorry, I forgot." With a heavy heart, I nodded, and the two of us went to get the pieces of fancy paper that would request people to bear witness to the greatest joke of my life.

After that day, I never went out with Yunho again. I spent my time thinking things over.

When I said yes to Ian, there had been no doubts to my feelings. I loved Ian. I loved him still. He was after all the first man in my life. Growing up poor, I had concentrated on my studies and work. Ian was the first romance I had, my first love.

The depth of my feelings however was nothing compared to what I was feeling towards his cousin.

Ian's infidelity didn't help either.

As soon as he returned, I asked him how his US trip was and I had a terrible time watching him choke on his lies. Kissing me on the cheek this morning as he left for work, my heart plummeted as a decision finally came to me. Looking at the invitations neatly piled up on the coffee table in the living room where I sat near the fireplace, reading my name next to the man who lied to me countless of times, I knew I couldn't go through with the wedding.

With that in mind, I quickly grabbed my wallet to go to Ian's office. I would break it off. I just hope I wouldn't bump into Yunho when I did.

Reaching his office, I inhaled deeply before I turned the doorknob, ready to confront my fiancé, but the sound of angry voices inside made me stop. I should have turned around and left, but Yunho's angry voice made me stop and listen. I never heard him raise his voice before.

"Come to think of it, solve your problems alone. I had enough!"

What problems? I wanted to ask, and Ian answered the question for me. "You're not going to help me? What do you want me to do? Tell Jaeyoung I want out so I can hook up with the chic I got pregnant?"

Hearing the news shocked me to my core, and I wasn't able to prevent a gasp from escaping my lips. Bad move I realized, as both Ian and Yunho turned to look at me.

"Jae!" I heard them call my name, but all I saw was Yunho's eyes looking at me with pity, and I couldn't take that. Having Ian cheat on me was pathetic enough.

Without another thought, I turned around and ran, and ran, and ran, until I heard tires screeching into a halt, and then there was the blinding pain and the screams as I fell on the hard ground.

The last thing I remembered as the world slowly spun was Yunho's face filled with anguish as he held me in his arms. As I reached out to touch his face with my bloodied hand, I then asked the heavens why I couldn't have just been his…