Chapter Thirty-two

Rose

Our lips meet.

We start off slow, only getting to know each other's feelings through the kiss; immediately making me forget about the entire world and only on him. Who?

Elis or Elia?

Elis.

There are no space in between our bodies and for some reason, it seems like we've been craving this

There are no space in between our bodies and for some reason, it seems like we've been craving this. We've been trying to reject our emotions and lust towards each other; unfortunately, it leads us here.

My body weakens seconds after he starts to pull my body closer by the waist, immediately making me lean forward towards him—disrupting my breathing. I moan slightly through the kiss as he kisses down my neck before groaning at the sound of my voice.

''Fuck, Rose.'' He breathes, harshly.

I cup onto his face, pulling his lips towards mine again, letting us kiss; this time our kiss seems a lot more sweet and passionate instead of rushed or forced. For once, everything slips off my mind.

Truth be told, I would be lying if I say that Elis is a bad kisser; he's amazing. From the way his lips move against mine in a passionate twist, it leads me a whole new world. Ever since Elia, I've never felt this way. Maybe they have this gift that runs in the family, making it easier for them to seduce women.

We've been kissing and touching each other's bare skin for the past ten minutes yet it felt like hours. I place a hand at the side of his face, slowly breaking the kiss and leaning my forehead against his; trying to catch up with my breathing. He does the same.

My legs tremble at his touch.

I peek through my thick eyelashes, trying to get a glimpse of his red hips and his clenched jaw. It seems like he's trying hard to hold himself back; while I eye his every movement including the way he breathes. Both of his eyes are closed—only letting me see him.

Within seconds, I find him looking back at me, his brown eyes are darkening with lust but being overshadowed by something else, I can't comprehend what so I stay still, only looking at him.

''I know that you still love my brother but I can't help myself on wanting you. Use me, Rose. Pour your every pain and emotion because I want to feel them too. I don't mind as long as you're here with me,'' He mutters, loud enough for me to hear.

''I will never hurt you. I swear to god so please, I don't want to let you go—I don't want to see you walk out that door without knowing that you'll be back, I don't want you to fake a smile when I know that you're actually hiding the pain. Let me help you,'' He caresses the side of my face; making me sigh.

''But why are you letting me hurt you?''

He keeps quiet at my question as he looks back at me with confusion written all over his face; instantly making me furrow my eyebrows. I continue to cup onto his face, glancing down at his lips once in a while, ''You know that I still love Elia. You know that I might go back to him. You know how I don't mind breaking myself for him so why are you letting me hurt you? Why are you letting me use you? Why do you want me? I'm nothing special,'' I breathe out.

All of a sudden, he starts to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, ''Because one day, you might open your heart for me. You might try to move on. You might try to forget about him. Then, you'd be able to see how special you are,'' He replies.

I immediately close my eyes as painful memories flash in front of me; making me remember how I'm way too broken to receive a perfect life. Suicidal has never left my mind and hurting myself has always been an option—that's how fucked I feel. No one deserves me because I will only cause pain and destruction.

''You deserve someone better,'' I mutter.

''Who? I don't see anyone but you.''

His brown eyes are looking deeply into my blue ones. From the way we are staring at each other, it shows how we're actually having a little battle inside; a battle that we always fail to win. A battle with our hearts.

Elis is too perfect for me. He has managed to make me realise the beauty of life and the importance of starting fresh. He gave me hope. Hope that I've once lost due to the amount of pain. I don't deserve him.

''Why me? What do you see in me? I see shattered hopes and a broken heart so why do you bother waste your time with someone like me? You should've just let me die because I'm not worth saving,'' I say. My eyes are almost filling with tears but I hold back.

To my surprise, he starts to wipe away the fallen tears and cup onto my face before resting his forehead against mine; giving me strength. I breathe out, hearing his words, ''No, don't say that. You're worth everything, why can't you see that? You asked me what do I see in you but why can't you see yourself other than the pain you've been through? I want to help you, let me help you. Let me try to make you smile again, let me try to see you laugh—I want to give you everything,'' He assures, directly.

Yes. I would want to see myself smiling and laughing with pure happiness but I haven't felt that for awhile. My body is too immune with sadness and pain that I barely know the differences; it feels the same.

''I don't want to use you. I don't want to hurt you. You're saying as if I'm worth everything because you would risk anything for me but what about you? Who would risk anything for you?'' I see that we're slowly creating distance between us so it'd be easier for us to look into each other's eyes and mesmerise each other's faces.

''You would, if you would just—''

I cut him off by kissing him on the lips, making him return the kiss immediately. My heart starts to beat fast at the softness of his lips; deep inside, I want to try and give in. Elis might be different. He might actually want to help me see and feel happy.

We both break the kiss, ''I want it to be real.'' I say, with a small smile on my face. I can actually feel my cheeks heating up but I try my best to keep calm.

''Then, I'll make it real,'' He replies.

Without us realising, we are already kissing each other again. This time we are slowly expressing our emotions through the kiss; instead of lust. It may be hard for the both of us but if we just try harder, it'll work.

I've been waiting for the same man to reappear in my life and to make things right again but now, I've completely let go. I may not be far from him but at least I'll try to let go as much as possible. It keeps on driving me insane, knowing that he's out there, forgetting about me while I suffer and cry.

It has got to stop.

A week has passed. Elis and I are slowly trying to get to know each other better and honestly, for once, I actually feel like a real person. Whenever I'm with him, I don't have to think about the past nor my problems—he has gotten a lot better too.

We manage to spend every night together, pushing away our busy schedules especially him; we want to make our moment and time together as memorable as it can be, we never know what will happen in the future because a life like ours, too unexpected.

My lips curve up into a smile as soon as I feel him wrapping his arms around my waist, letting me feel the warmth of his body near mine. I smile wider as he pecks onto my neck, sending me shivers down my spine; the good kind. Then, I turn to look at him which causes him to kiss me on the lips immediately.

As a smirk appears on my face, I quickly smudge chocolate syrup on the side of his face before taking a few steps away as I laugh. From the side, I see him smiling as he turns to look at me, making my eyes wide.

I hold onto the kitchen counter, trying to prevent him from getting me but he somehow manage to grab me by the waist before quickly locking me in his arms. I won't stop laughing as he leans closer while I lean further away. Then, he starts to kiss me on the neck.

Playfully tickling me with his kisses.

''Stop!'' I laugh even harder as I try to push him away but he continues to repay his revenge

''Stop!'' I laugh even harder as I try to push him away but he continues to repay his revenge. Within seconds, I find him staring down at me as I try to ease my laughters before smiling at him.

''Are you sorry?'' He asks, raising an eyebrow as grabs onto my waist again, pulling me. I manage to laugh once more when he leans in, playfully attacking me by the neck—earning himself more chuckles.

''No—I mean, yes.'' I smirk.

He looks down at me, trying to tickle me again but I immediately shake my head, ''I'm sorry.'' I say, laughing. Then, instead of tickling me, he starts to lick onto the side of my cheek which is stained with chocolate syrup—leaving me speechless.

Our eyes meet instantly but he doesn't seem to realise how he manage to make me feel this way as he smiles down; only being in a world of his own. My face heats up again before looking down, smiling to myself.

He lifts up my face by the chin and our eyes meet again. Surprisingly, he starts to tap onto my nose, slowly making me smile—as I control my breathing.

Just as he's about to lean in for a kiss, his phone starts to ring, stopping him in his steps; to only frown as he looks down at the screen, picking up the call. I watch as he wipe his cheek with his chocolate stained hand, leaving me chuckling at him.

He pecks onto my cheek before exiting the kitchen, leaving me smiling to myself as I look down at my fingers, seeing that they are dirtied with chocolate syrup; making me chuckle even more.

Just as I finished washing my hands, I hear the doorbell ring, making me furrow my eyebrows but I walk towards the living room, seeing that Elis is nowhere to be found yet his voice is in the bedroom, talking to the phone—leaving me to open the door.

I grab onto the doorknob before opening the door.

My mind goes blank at the figure.