Chapter 105 - Coming To Terms With

The next morning as he slipped into the bathroom to wash his face, Reynard caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror again and he almost fell down.

"God, was that not just a horrible dream?" he groaned to his reflection. But how could it have been a dream when he had barely slept the night?

Then Reynard dressed up in cleaner clothes and whilst he put on his boots to go outside, his sister greeted him at his door.

"Hey."

"Hey," Reynard replied, and when he looked up, he was taken aback by the state of her. She had dark eye bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept as well, her eyes were puffy and tinged red from crying all night, and there were pillow marks on her cheek. "Are you okay?"

Rosa shrugged, folding her arms and leaning against the doorframe. 

"Bad night. Where are you off to so early in the morning?"

Reynard grunted, tugging at the laces of his boot. "Uncle Franke's. I need to tell him about Father."

Rosa frowned. "But didn't we agree-"

"I know," he cut in as he looked up to her. "I know we agreed to keep it a secret from everyone for a while, but truth be told, Rosa, he deserves to know. Probably even more so than us. He was Father's best friend."

Rosa pinched her nose bridge, something she had when she was frustrated. Reynard tied the laces of his boots up and stood up.

"I'll be off, then."

"At least have some breakfast."

Reynard stretched and yawned. "I don't want you to get in the kitchen so early up. Don't worry, I'll be quick. Have you seen my sweater? It's awfully cold."

Rosa watched him as he slipped past her and into the living room, looking for his piece of garment.

"Do you mean the green one? It got wet yesterday," she said, turning around. "You can… You can go check something in Father's closet. Him and you are almost the same size."

Reynard stopped in his tracks and slowly lifted his face towards the door to their parents' room, the one where both of them slept together till Mother had to be shifted to another room when she got sick and Father moved his things into the barracks.

None of the two had even stepped inside it yet, especially since their parents passed away. Now, as Reynard approached the brass door knob, he felt an overpowering urge to recoil away. 

"Go on," his sister whispered right behind him.

Gathering the strength to do so, he turned the knob and pushed the door all the way till it hit against the wall. Stepping in, the first thing he noticed was that it was dark. 

"I'll bring a lantern," Rosa whispered behind him and disappeared. Not waiting for her return, Reynard stepped in and found his way to the window that showed out into the street. With a swish of his hands, he pushed apart the drapes and sighed as cold, blue morning light flooded inside. 

He couldn't imagine there were times when their parents used to share the same room. That was two years ago, and it felt like a lot more time than that. He turned around and stared at their parents' neatly made bed and the two, feather pillows set side by side against each other near the head board.

Reynard walked towards the small, wooden closet beside their bed and looked inside for any of his Father's clothes, and indeed, he found a black wool sweater that looked a tiny bit smaller than his preferred size.

"Mm, I think it'll fit," he mumbled to himself as he closed the closet door, "since I've lost a bit of weight." He slipped it on and looked at himself in his parents' mirror, and clenched his jaw. He now realized how unlike he was to his father; he didn't look a bit like him.

"Bye," Reynard muttered hastily to his sister as he walked past her, an unused lantern in her hand. 

"Wait!" she called to him as he opened the door, a cool gust of wind ready to greet them. Silently, Rosa put the lantern down on the table and approached her brother, her arms outstretched. "Give me a hug before you go, Reyn."

It was such a sisterly thing to do, that for a moment, Reynard forgot that he wasn't actually born in the family. Without waiting for her to come close enough to him, he rushed into her arms and hugged her tight.

"Alright, alright," Rosa laughed, squeezing him. "I love you, you know?"

Reynard let go of her and smiled. "Love you too." 

She smiled and neatened his hair with her slender fingers. "It suits you. The color, I mean. But you should cover it up so-"

Reynard was getting impatient, not wanting to hear the rest. 

"See you!" he exclaimed before she could finish, then he disappeared out the door. 

"What am I going to do with this kid," Rosa chuckled as she closed the door properly after him. "I should be more careful. I almost told him something I shouldn't last night. Gotta be more careful, yes, gotta be more careful." Then Rosa went to make herself a cup of tea before she started with her chores.

✿

Reynard made his way to 'The Longing Table'. He used the back door to go in this time, since he was in no mood to hear people laughing so early in the morning. 

The back door opened into the kitchen and Reynard gratefully took in the warm aroma of freshly cooked breakfast. 

"Marion!" Reynard beamed as he saw a familiar face working away at the cutting boards. 

Marion turned at his voice but paused, staring at him. "Yes?"

Gradually, Reynard's smile disappeared. "I-It's me..."

She narrowed her eyes. "Who?"

He made a gesture with his palms, as if cutting something on a board. "I made carrot cake with you, Marion, don't you remember?"

It took a minute for her to realize. "Ahhh… Reynard! I remember now. I couldn't recognize you because of your hair," she said as she got back to work. "Did you get it colored recently?"

Reynard looked at her, confused. "Pardon?"

"You had black hair previously, but the new color looks good, too. Is that what the youngster's like nowadays?"

Reynard laughed awkwardly as he realized that his hair was a shade of purple now. He should've really covered it before stepping out, just like Rosa said. Was that why so many people were giving him weird stares as he made his way here?

Reynard leaned in to Marion and inquired, whispering, "Have you a cap?"

Marion looked into the distance, thinking. "I have a head scarf if you want."

Reynard nodded. a head scarf would have to do, though he had no idea how he would pull it off.

"Thanks," he offered as Marion pulled out a long black patterned scarf from her apron pocket.

"I put it in my pocket in a hurry." She smiled, trying to help Reynard tie it around his hair. "But I think there's no need to hide the color; honestly, it looks good!"

"Thanks, Marion," Reynard said as he tied a knot at the back of her head. "It's okay. I came here to see Uncle Franke, so I'll be off."

"Alright, go on. Tell him I made a huge batch of fried dough for today, 'kay?"

"Okay!" Reynard called as he left the kitchen through the swinging door. 

His eyes searched Uncle Franke's desk but he wasn't there. Reynard looked around the lounge but except for a few people enjoying warm breakfast and glasses of complimentary liquor, there was no one there.

Upon checking the bar area, Reynar found him pouring drinks for some customers. 

"Reyn," he called him over when he matched his gaze. "Everybody, this is my godson, Reynard. His father's the Emperor's personal guard."

There was a chorus of impressed 'OOOOHHHH's' and everybody turned to stare at the son of such a highly regarded man. Reynard didn't smile; the mention of his father pained him.

Uncle Franke laughed and eventually, he handed the drinks to his customers before catching up with Reynard. 

"You seem like you're in a good mood," Reynard commented.

Uncle Franke wiped his hands on the sides of his trousers and sighed. "Well, I heard there's fried dough for dessert today. Anyways, why are you wearing the cloth on your head?"

When Reynard didn't answer, Uncle Franke decided to move on.

"How goes your father's treatment?"

Reynard stopped in his tracks. Uncle Franke frowned, pausing with him.

"What?"

Reynard let out a shaky breath.

"What?" Uncle Franke asked again. "Is the treatment too costly?"

Reynard shook his head. "The treatment ended long ago."

Uncle Franke put his hands on his hips, his bushy white eyebrows coming together in a frown. "So what's the problem?"

Reynard mumbled a barely audible answer into his chest.

"Huh?" Uncle Franke leaned in, unable to understand.

Reynard looked up, a sad look in his eyes. "He's dead. Father's dead."

Uncle Franke still couldn't understand. "You know I don't joke about these things."

Reynard forced a genuinely sad smile upon his lips. "I don't joke about these things either, Uncle. We've already buried him, too."

That was when the earth slipped out from his uncle's feet and his legs couldn't hold on anymore. With a loud 'thud', he fell to the floor.

"No way," he mumbled, looking at the planks beneath him. "There's no way..."

"Get up," Reynard grunted, tugging at his arms. 

"We promised not to die before each other..."

"A foolish promise," Reynard grunted. "Get up, will you?"

"...That bastard broke his promise..."

"Uncle-"

For the rest of his life, Reynard would never be able to forget the ear shattering howl that escaped his Uncle's lips then.. It was the most painful thing he had ever heard, so painful that it almost broke him down.