Chapter 75 - In His Shoes

Mama tightened the ribbons of the dress's built-in corset, making me squeal.

"Stand. Still," she ordered for the nth time.

I shrieked as the ribbons pulled me in. "You're pulling it too tight! Ahh, my poor waist..."

"No talking!" she bellowed as she pulled the ribbons again, with so much force that I wheezed. "Tuck in your stomach. Y'know, I never made a single noise when I wore that. Have some guts!"

I felt like all my guts were gonna explode. Sweaty from all the exercise, I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against the mirror in Mama Ruth's room. 

"Spare me," I croaked out.

She laughed an insidious laugh. "Come now, you're the one who so wanted to go to this ball. Now you shall bear the consequences."

Weakly, I held the sides of my waist as the corset pulled me in again. I groaned in anticipation of another pull, but Mama, with her swift fingers, neatly tied a bow at the bottom and stood back to admire her handiwork.

"Good god, I'm so good at this," she muttered as her eyes swept over me. "Come, let's do your hair now."

As Mama took a hold of my black lots and started combing them, I realized  she never once asked about my powers. And I'd never told her. I bit my lips as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Was it really okay if Sven knew and she didn't? Sooner than later we'll definitely have a talk about that, so should I just bring up the topic now…?

"Mama," I started, my voice starchy. I cleared my throat and started again. "Mama, you never asked about my powers that were prophesied."

I saw her reflection shrug. "I was waiting for you to tell me. It seems that there's still an issue of trust between us."

Self consciously, I rubbed my bare shoulder. "Not really. It's not like I don't trust you. It's just that I didn't know if it's a blessing anymore."

She stopped combing my hair. "What do you mean?" 

I shrugged, looking sadly at my reflection. "So I have the power of healing, okay? Though I think you probably knew that, for some reason. To be able to heal...this power might seem like a blessing to others, but for me, I deem it a curse. But a beautiful curse nonetheless. With this power comes great responsibility. I can, and I would if my freedom is guaranteed, heal all and any wounds, whether they be caused from battle or a simple household incident. To think how many people could remain alive if I offered this power to the world frightens me. If I give myself away, what will become of me, then? I'll be an overworked piece belonging to the public. I don't want to live like that, not at all."

Mama had been silently listening to my rant. Now that I had let everything out, my chest felt heavy as I anticipated Mama's reply. Had I been too open? Was I the only one who trusted Mama enough to talk like this? 

She cleared her throat as she gathered my hair in her hands so that I could see her reflection in the mirror. "I understand, lassie, I really do. It's the same for me if I became the priestess. In this wretched world, nobody's really a free man. We somehow always leech off of others for something or the other, yet some decide to be independent, to turn over a leaf in their lives so they could learn to survive in this world where every man is for himself. But some people chosen by God himself...they aren't meant to live independent lives unless they run away from their duties, which is exactly what you and I did. And not an ounce of guilt do I have, too. Do you?"

I bit the inside of my lower lip, trying to come up with a truthful answer. "No."

She sighed and pulled my hair up into a bun. "See? Every man for himself. Nobody deserves to leech off of the other, especially not the rich off of the poor, or vice versa. Doesn't matter."

Mama let a lock of my hair hang against either of my temples and used pins off of a pin-cushion to secure my hair. While she did so, I took some time to ponder over her words. Leeching. Leeching off of each other. It's scary how true that is. Even I was guilty of this act by leeching off of Reynard's helpfulness and then off of Faustine's unconditional kindness, and then finally (I glanced at Mama's reflection) off of Mama Ruth's empathy. 

I fought a rather bitter snicker as I realized that Mama would have lost all her marbles if she saw how bad the condition of the 21st century people was. Where no man ever hesitated to benefit off of the other, where preying off the poor was a hobby. I winced at the thought. 

"Alright, I'm done," Mama breathed finally. "Take a look."

I lifted my gaze off of the floor and met my eyes in the reflection. Then my eyes moved up towards my hair and they widened when they caught sight of Mama's handiwork. 

"Oh, wow," I muttered as I turned my head around to catch a glimpse of the back. "Mama, this is beautiful."

And so it was. My hair had been gracefully swept up in a top bun, but the bun looked as if it was an intricately done apple pie, with all the braids going in and out. The hair locks that hung by the sides of my head gave me an elegant look, and Mama had took the look up a notch by attaching fake flower pins around my bun and on the sides of my head. The white flowers matched that of the white lily brooch I still had, and I thought it'd look good with the whole hair do, but I dared not wear such an important thing in public. 

The lime dress hugged my body around the chest and waist and flowed out below the waist into an elegant gown. I smiled at my reflection. Mama really had pulled it off perfectly. 

"Thank you, Mama," I said as I turned around. I stopped in my tracks when I saw a tear drop flow down Mama's wrinkled cheek. "M-Mama, are you alright?"

"Huh?" Dazed, she wiped the tear stain off her cheek and stared at her wet palm in confusion. "Why am I tearing up all of a sudden?" Then she awkwardly laughed at herself. "I must really be happy to see my wedding dress worn again. And who knew it would see its last use on none other than the Royal Crown Princess. Lissy would have never believed this story."

I stood there in silence as Mama mumbled to herself while more tears flowed down her face. I had always admired her for her strong, 'You-Can't-Do-Anything-To-Me' personality, and I had never ever imagined her crying. Seeing her now, in tears, it broke my heart. It just went to show that she was still a dear old lady at heart, having had her daughter (and probably her husband too) stolen by God. My heart ached in sympathy for her. 

And then I did something I've never instigated with anyone, not Jieum, not Juwon, not even my own mother: I hugged Mama Ruth. 

Mama's body stiffened at the affectionate touch, but then her shoulders slumped and she returned the gesture as she silently wept into my shoulder. This was the second time I was dealing with this kind of situation, but I felt like I could console the whole world if I wanted to. 

"Be happy, Mama," I whispered into her ear. "For tears suit no one lest they are happy." 

Mama chuckled sadly. "I am happy, my dear. I am happy. So fret not about myself and get ready for the Selection ball."

I pulled back and looked fondly into Mama's eyes which had already healed up. She smiled, and for once, she looked like just a normal old lady. Then she swatted at me and pulled out of my arms. 

"What are we, widows?" she snapped as she turned her back to me and went to look into something inside her drawer. "For goodness' sake, why do women have such a high tendency for tears?"

I chuckled. "That's the Mama I know." I was glad that she had returned to her normal self. 

"Heh," she snickered, but not unkindly. "You need makeup."

I frowned. "We call me a natural beauty."

"Not me, though," she laughed. "Here, turn around so that I can apply rouge on your lips and cheeks."

I bent down so Mama could work her magic on my face. This felt more realistic than the extravagant makeup I had been applied at the palace. Sometimes, I wondered if it was only a mere dream. 

"Done!" Mama stood back to inspect my face. "Very pretty. Okay, now shoes. Do you have any?"

I shook my head. 

"Crap," she muttered as she stared at my feet. "My size is much larger than your petite little feet. Let's see if we can fit you in something."

She opened her closet and bent down. A moment later, she had a line of shoes lined up in front of my feet, both new and old. It was strange how even though most of the shoes looked the same, I could tell which ones were old and which ones were recently bought. I contemplated which of the choices would look better with the lime green dress, but I ended up with the same conclusion: None of them were fit for a grand ball like they were fit on an old lady's feet. 

Mama, too, must've reached the same conclusion cuz she was 'hum'ing' and 'haw'ing' about our luck. "Mmm, I don't like any one of these," she announced about her own shoes. "But I think Sven might have something that may look not half as bad with the gown. Wait for a while."

Hastily, Mama scurried out of her room and I heard her distant call for Sven. I stood near her closet, waiting for her to return, and when she did, she had a pair of brown leather sandals in her arms.  The sandals were the type with strings that wrapped around the feet to secure them. I had seen more than enough runway models wear them on fashion shows. (No, I never attended a fashion show in person. Jieum showed me pictures on her phone.)

"These are nice," I muttered as I delicately fingered the strings. "But they don't go along with the dress."

"Unless they were green," Mama suggested, a creative glint in her eyes. "I was thinking we could paint them."

I gasped. "Won't Sven mind?"

She shook her head. "He has outgrown these since long ago. Look at how small they are. They'll fit you perfectly." 

"Ohhh~" Right. Now that I took a closer look at those, they wouldn't have fit a man at all. They were quite tiny, but not too tiny. "But how do you reckon we paint these?"

Mama thought for a brief moment. "Hmm, I have some acrylic paint with me from when I grew an interest in painting. But I'm not quite sure that they're still usable though, since acrylic paint dries at a speedy rate."

I nodded understandingly. Mama dived into her closet once more and brandished a few tubes of what appeared to be paint. The tubes were pinched at places and there were paint smudges all over the silver tubing. 

"Coincidentally, I have but green, red and yellow. We shall use the green," she announced as she twisted open the cap. "Come, help me. There's absolutely no way I've still got it in me. I haven't a brush so we must paint it with our hands...  On second thoughts, you do nothing since I know you'll ruin the dress with paint. Sit there and watch quietly, lassie.. Sit and watch."