I lost the words I was going to say and just stared up at Noah with a vacant expression on my face. All kinds of questions were floating around inside my head.
What did he mean by that? Why would he not like me to leave the club?
… Do you look forward to seeing me?
However, Noah’s face looked so calm and serene that I couldn’t bring myself to actually ask that question. In fact, there was absolutely no way I could ask that.
I just stood there speechless for a while until Noah opened his mouth. He hesitated for a moment but then began to speak.
“I just think that you shouldn’t quit. Think it over more before you make any final decision.”
He then raised his hand as if to pat my head again.
“…!”
My body involuntarily shrank back.
I came here to let go of my lingering feelings, but now I was feeling even more troubled.
This is much crueler than if you had just turned me down, Noah.
After seeing my reaction, Noah hesitated and lowered his hand.
Things were quiet for a moment until Noah opened his mouth again to speak. He seemed a little hesitant after attempting to pat my head.
It may have been because I had never refused him before until now.
“Thank you for being so honest,” he said as an unexpected smile faintly formed across his beautiful face.
I wasn’t sure why he thanked me for that. For some reason, I felt a stinging pain on one side of my chest.
“Anyway, have a good night.”
Noah turned around and his long silvery hair fluttered about.
As I stared at Noah’s back, I began to think to myself, I like you, Noah. From the very first day that I set eyes on you, I’ve liked you. And even if you say you don’t like me back, I’ll continue to like you. Oh, what am I to do?
As I was finishing up my thoughts, I mumbled the remaining words out loud, as if I were groaning. I heard my pitiful voice as the words escaped my lips.
“… I really like you.”
Be it fortune or misfortune, but Noah didn’t seem to have heard what I said.
“What’d you say?” he asked as he turned around with a strange look on his face.
“Oh, nothing,” I answered, forcing a smile while I shook my head.
“Have a good night, Noah.”
It was a good thing he had his back facing me because I wouldn’t have wanted him to see the expression I had on my face just then.
***
“Did he come? How’d it turn out? Did he turn you down?”
As soon as I opened the door, Dora was there leaning up against the doorframe, bombarding me with questions.
It was so irritating that I could have slapped her, but I wasn’t really going to do that.
“… I’m going to bed.”
Dora looked after me as I passed her by and laid myself down onto my bed. She was probably thinking about how she could comfort my broken heart.
I felt another sigh coming on and closed my eyes. The whole scene of what had just happened only a few minutes ago replayed in my mind.
His fluttering silver hair, his brilliant golden eyes glistening through his glasses in the moonlight.
Ahhh, he’s handsome, really so handsome!
Am I crazy?!
I felt my face turn bright red. I clenched my hands into fists and punched my pillow as hard as I could.
Calm down. Get a hold of yourself. Just stop thinking about it.
I gently placed one of my hands over my chest and slowly exhaled.
The images floating around in my head from that awkward meeting with Noah back in the clubroom put me in bad spirits.
I layed on my bed for a while until I remembered Noah’s candies that Flora had given me. I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out the mint lollipops.
“… Hey, Dora. You can have these now.”
It’s high time I put an end to these stupid feelings.
“Huh?”
Dora looked at the peppermint flavored lollipops in my hand and tilted her head.
“I don’t like those things.”
“Just… take it. Just take it and eat it… Before I shove it down your throat myself.”
Just eat it quickly so that I can be rid of it.
I squeezed my forehead with one hand while forcing the mint lollipops into Dora’s hand with the other.
“…?”
With a dumbfounded look on her face, Dora accepted the candies.
I heard her grunt in disapproval that I gave her something so gross, but I paid her no mind and just buried my head into my pillow.
My crush had ended.
***
It was my delusion. However, notwithstanding earlier, it seemed like it wasn’t over yet.
I had regretted my decision to end my crush with Noah right after I woke up the very next morning.
“Hey, did you eat it? You didn’t, did you?” I asked Dora, shaking her by the hem of her clothes while she was still laying in bed. I managed to wake her up, but she was mostly half-asleep.
“… What?” Dora mumbled sleepily in response with her eyes still closed.
“You told me to eat them.”
“But, you said you didn’t even like mint candies!” I grabbed my head with my hands and screamed.
It was really unfortunate now that I think about it. Who knows when or even if I’ll get any more candy from Noah? If I do… If I do get more, I’d keep it for a few days and then I’d eat it.
“Ugh, I hate you! I really hate you!”
“Whatever, just be quiet. Ughhh, I can’t get back to sleep.”
When I threw myself next to her on her bed and started making a huge fuss, she rubbed her eyes and gave me a chilling glare. She then scratched her back and let out a loud yawn.
“Yesterday you were so quiet, so what’s with all the noise?”
“The candy…”
“Ughh.”
Dora shook her head with a sour expression on her face when she heard my answer. She then burst out into laughter after she saw the serious look on my face.
“Whoa, you’re really not joking around! Look at your face! Hahaha!”
Wondering what she meant, I looked in the mirror and became terrified by what I saw.
My hair was all in tangles and sticking out in every which direction and my eyes were both puffy and swollen.
“Oh my god,” I mumbled as I grabbed and pulled on my hair.
I grabbed my glasses from the drawer and put them on. These should at least hide the puffiness a little bit. I cannot skip out on class.
“Ha… I loved you, Noah…” I groaned as I buried my face into my hands. Dora saw me and, instead of getting dressed, she just looked at me and clicked her tongue.
“Well, that’s love. You should have expected this.”
“You’d better shut up,” I warned in a low voice as I glared at her with enraged eyes.
“Make me,” Dora answered in a harsh voice and stuck her tongue out at me.
Am I just going to sit here and take that?
I tightly clenched my hands into fists. However, I wasn’t feeling all that well right now to bother using magic or physical force against her.
But at the same time, what I wanted to do the most was to beat her up.