Chapter 186 - Tears

"Did it... work?" Although she'd felt it in her magic, she had to hear it from him, hear that he finally believed in her. That he dared to dream of a future.

His answer was a cryptic one, the tone muffled. "You will know when you open your eyes."

So she did. She opened her eyes to see... the darkness of the night. No, that was even darker than any night could get, like a black curtain or fire wavering around her shining self. It started from her ċhėst area and grew upwards, almost solid in its impenetrability, but moving and alive at the same time. Then she saw that the origin of it all were Nathaniel's arms, strongly coiled around her. His dark magic rose in big waves from them, and, liquid-like, formed a dome of pure darkness above their heads, only to fall again into Nathaniel's head and shoulders.

Almost reverently, Katherine raised her hands, which she couldn't even see, and pulled them closer to her face. Soon, the black flames parted in front of her to let the light and her hands through. How really magical, Katherine thought with a smile. This is the magic that kills everyone, but I alone don't have to be afraid. She turned her hands over and saw not a spot on them. This deadly poison was as docile and translucent as air in front of her. The only thing she could see was its color - or lack thereof.

"We made it! We really made it!", she exclaimed and excitedly wanted to turn to Nathaniel, yet he didn't let her. His grip on her was strong and only now she noticed that he was... trembling. His arms coiled tightly around her, he was weeping in the cook of her neck. Not a single sound left his throat, but she felt the wetness on her skin. So many tears fell on her neck that they slowly rolled down her shoulder to tickle her back. Her shirt was already drenched.

It was then she knew that the darkness had a second use here: In front of his brother, uncle, and all the soldiers, it was hiding Nathaniel's breakdown. One life of pure loneliness and anxiety was coming to an end. It was enough to know that there was one person in the world he could touch without fear. Yet, the change was too great, the suspense so long that relief made him weep helplessly like a child. He couldn't do anything about it, just cling onto her as if she was the sole pillar of his support.

Katherine always knew that his condition had to be painful for him, but it was this moment she understood that it was far more unbearable than anyone could imagine. So unbearable that it nearly killed him. Only his strong will and ambition made him go on, brought him forward day by tormenting day until the memory of loss got dull, the pain numb. But both awoke again when she first dared to touch him, kiss him, stand fearlessly by his side. He had hoped again.

This was the first time she realized what she had done to him with that little hope. It must have been the worst torment anyone could have bestowed on him. To a creature of the dark, even the dimmest light was painful to the eyes, and he had lived in the dark for decades. But thanks to his strong will he had pulled forward regardless. It was carefully and with great caution, but he made his way to the surface again, leaving loneliness and the fear of the unknown behind. Now, he finally could grasp the light without worry.

Tears of sympathy collected in Katherine's eyes, yet she blinked them away. Despite all the pain he had to suffer, this was not a sad occasion. Instead, this was the day his wounds could start healing and the pain would vanish - not because it got dulled, but because it was finally treated with the right medicine.

Since he didn't let her turn around, Katherine softly placed her hand on Nathaniel's head, burying it in his smooth white hair that stood out against the black background. Without saying a word, she pressed her lips against his temple, and that was how they stood. Minutes. Hours. Until his trembling eventually subsided, and his breathing relaxed.

Katherine could hear worried voices outside the thin wall of their magic shelter, but she didn't answer them and they didn't try to break the dome. If it was because of fear or reassurance through their lower bodies that must be still visible outside the dome of darkness, she didn't know. There was only one person in the world that was important just now: her beautiful wreck of a husband.

Gently massaging his scalp, she chuckled. "I just remembered our first hug. Who would have known the Earl of the southern border could break down like me back then."

Hearing that, Nathaniel unwillingly tried to lift his head, yet Katherine pulled him down again. "Shush, darling. You can cry all you want. I'm actually glad that you trust me so much that I am the sole person that's allowed to see you cry. It makes me really happy."

Her whisper made him relax again, and his one hand started ċȧrėssing her side. The fabric on her neck was slowly drying.

"We were actually in a hurry to leave this place", Nathaniel reminded with a rough voice after a while. "But I don't want to let you go right now."

As gently as a breeze, his lips touched her neck, sending goosebumps over her skin. As they wandered upwards, Katherine loosened her grip on his hair and leaned against him. Knowing that there was a bunch of people watching them outside this black dome of darkness only made it more exciting. Her body tingled with nervousness, his every kiss a cold fire on her skin, amplifying the heat that coursed through their bodies. Hesitantly, she tilted her head aside to give him better access. A deep, satisfied sound grumbled in his ċhėst, and he pulled her even tighter against his hardening body, as if he wanted to melt them together.

Finally reaching her ear, he nuzzled it with his nose. Then he whispered something, and Katherine's body stiffened as her heart sped up into a race. "Say... say that again."

A smile curling on his sėxy lips, Nathaniel repeated his statement. Quietly, but with tenderness and confidence in his voice. "I love you."

Katherine gasped for air and this time tears couldn't help falling from her eyes. So long had she waited for this that she dared not belief he would say these words. Not so soon, and not so decisively. It sounded steadfast like a mountain, as if nothing could ever change his decision. And with this one sentence, spring bloomed in her heart.

"Me too." She wiggled inside his arms to turn around and embrace him as well. "I love you. I love you so, so much!"

Going on her tiptoes, she kissed him, not caring for the magic that still blazed from both of their skins. Their kiss was wild and hungry like they were alone for decades and finally found each other again. As if the other was their water in the desert and food for their starving souls.

Finally, when they both knew they had to either find a bed right now or stop until they had one, Nathaniel reluctantly broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you", he uttered one last time, and in his burning red eyes that fixated on nothing but her, Katherine saw how true this was.