Chapter 87 - Because It Was Convient

This time, the guards let Katherine through without trouble. Impatiently, she rushed into the study. "Na-"

She only uttered the first syllable of his name before coming to a stop. Clutching her hands over her mouth, she tried to be as quiet as possible, hoping that she didn't wake him up already. But the earl sleeping on the table only turned his head into the crook of his elbow, rubbing his cheek against the fabric before laying still again.

Very cautiously, Katherine sneaked forward. She couldn't believe that the cold devil was asleep! It wasn't remotely similar to the laid-out corpse posture she imagined him in. Actually, he was kind of cute. The normally pale cheeks were a bit rosy and the white lashes looked like snowflakes that would melt on touch. Slumped over the table like a student asleep in class, the unapproachable aura that normally surrounded him was gone without a trace.

Beside the desk, Katherine hesitated. She couldn't bear to wake him up. Since he wasn't there when she went to see him in the morning, it was possible that he'd worked through the night. He needs someone to watch over him, she thought. Or else he would continue to treat himself so badly till he died of exhaustion.

Listening to his deep breathing sounds, she looked down at his face with the sharp and handsome features. She had never seen him this relaxed. Under his arms, several doc.u.ments poked out. One paper had even fallen to the floor beside his feet. She picked it up, intending to lay it back, but the title caught her attention. Suspects. Suspects for what? Why couldn't the earl name his lists more obviously so that someone else might understand it, too?

Grumbling inside, Katherine couldn't stop her curiosity, reading through the name list. If they were suspects, at least one of them had to have done something bad right? The second name on the list, Lord Gregor Orvet, sounded familiar. That was the man Nathaniel asked the prince to arrange a meeting with! Was it to investigate him?

Further down the list were several more names that caught her attention, mainly because they were shortened to initials. V.G., L.F.I., E.F.C.I., D.A.B., and finally, at the bottom, A.Y.I.

Some, like lord Orvet and the mysterious A.Y.I., had checkmarks next to them. A few other names were crossed out. Wait, three of the five abbreviated ones ended with I.? If it was the surname, wouldn't that most likely be one of the ancient Ice-families, the first aristocrats of the Icelands? But there where some openly put on the list, too, like Sieglinde Icespear or Roland and Caspar Iceflower...

Since only some names were shortened, maybe they were too important to be openly put on a suspect-list? Katherine had a very bad feeling about this. What in all gods name was Nathaniel investigating? From this list alone, nearly half of the upper rank aristocrats might be involved.

Looking at the initials L.F.I. again, she bit her lip. Hopefully this person only coincidentally shared the initials with the queen of the Icelands. Carefully, Katherine laid the paper on the table. Then she turned it over, so that the white side was facing upwards. Normally nobody beside Sam, her, and Nathaniel himself should be able to assess this room, but she was still worried, someone else could find the suspect-list. Maybe that was exactly the reason there weren't more information on it as to what they were suspected for. Honestly, the title alone was the only reason Katherine got interested in the names. Without it, nobody would know what to do with this.

Troubled, Katherine looked down at the sleeping man. As a lower rank aristocrat, what had he gotten himself into? Even if the king made him investigate this, Nathaniel might not be able to take the full brunt of it if something went wrong. This was dangerous.

As light as a feather, Katherine's finger touched the ring on Nathaniel's hand. His fingers were long and slender, the skin pale. Somehow, they looked familiar, though she was sure she didn't see him without gloves before.

Brushing over the red jewels, Katherine felt the connection between them. It wasn't only the fake betrothal. They knew each other for quite some time now and she had seen him in one of his darkest hours. The feeling of his strong embrace in the cave, the sadness in him that nearly drove him mad, was one of the most intense memories in her whole life. She didn't plan to let him go through anything like that alone again. Solemnly, she mouthed: "I promise I will stay by your side for as long as you want me to."

Only today had she realized how deeply he had edged himself inside her heart. The moment the princess asked if they were in love, the words just jumped out of her throat as if they had waited there for a long time. Afterwards, there wasn't much time to think about it. Was it really true? She couldn't find the answer to that.

It was never within her plans to fall in love with him as she had to manipulate him to get her revenge. Doing that to someone she liked would make her feel very guilty. She could only do that to bad people with a pure consciousness.

Now she shook her head over her own selfishness. Yes, Nathaniel had worked together with her cousin once but that didn't necessarily make him a bad person at the core. Hadn't she herself helped her cousin before she knew about his nature? She had no right to judge someone else for it. She just wanted to see him as a bad person because it was convenient. If she started to see him as good, regardless of if she liked him or not, she would feel guilty for what she planned to do.

Yet she couldn't see him as a bad person anymore. She couldn't point out where it started or why but through their constant interaction something had changed. Actually, she didn't believe he interacted with the prince because of malicious intentions like using him as a marionette. Thinking that way, was just the last straw she clung to. She wanted to make view him as evil.

However, after the chat with the princess, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. As cold as he might be, Nathaniel had turned into someone important to her. A friend. No, a bit different from that. Anyway, she didn't want him to get hurt.

Bending down next to him, she gently brushed his hair to the side. It was unexpectedly soft. She wanted to pet it some more but he would be mad if he woke up. He looked so innocent right now – a term she'd never thought to be remotely appliable on him – but if he woke up, he was likely to turn back into the icy devil he was. Which was kind of sad.

Sighing, she took back her hand. She just didn't know yet what would happen to her revenge. Giving up on it was out of the question but hiding it and manipulating him... no way she could deceive this slumbering angel. And even if it was the devil, there was still so much on his shoulders. It broke her heart.

Let's postpone this, Katherine decided. Until now, none of her acts was hurtful to Nathaniel. She didn't really manipulate him yet, did she? Revenge far in the future. She would make the decision then. Relieved that she still had time, she went to his bedroom to get a blanked and gently placed it over his back. He stirred slightly, mumbling something incomprehensible. Katherine halted and leaned nearer.