Chapter 175 - Absolutely Not!

The chill Katherine felt seemed to encase her whole being. For a minute, she could only stare, not move or speak a word. She hoped this was a scam, that one would call it out as a bad joke. The only invitation Frey had delivered to her was the one to her cousin's wedding. Ethan's wedding. How did this connect to the Icelands in any way?

Crossing her arms before her ċhėst - to hide her fluster as well as to warm her innards - she tried to appear strong. "I - I don't understand. What exactly do you want from me?"

Before the king could respond, Nathaniel beat him to it. "He wants you to attend this wedding and pretend like nothing happened between you and your cousin. But we won't do that. Yes, we will travel to the border, but that will be to ȧssure that the dragsean won't attack and to gauge their situation. In dragsean territory even the twins will not dare attack us - with or without the support of Falumor.".

Katherine's brows were furrowed. She was anything but excited by this prospect, even if it didn't involve Ethan. "Isn't it enough to have spies there? Why do we need to go ourselves? Can't we hide somewhere else?"

"Absolutely not", King William refused. "The southern border will be the first to be searched. It would be like hiding at ones own home. Falumor allies with my wife, while the renats have even more reason to hate your husband than any icelander. He slaughtered too many of their men."

Katherine felt Nathaniel stiffen beside her, but the king just continued: "If Dragsa really wants to attack, we need him to do the same to them, of course. So he has to stay near the border."

It took Katherine a moment to understand what he meant. That he wanted Nathaniel to use his strange magic to wipe out hundreds of men. Again. When she remembered the condition the patient had been in after the last time, she couldn't contain her fury anymore. "You want him to do that again? Do you want to kill him?!"

The blue eyes of the king glinted like steel. "The citizens need to be protected, regardless of who reigns. Only he can do that."

"I don't believe this!", Katherine yelled. "That's way too dangerous! No! Tell him you won't do this, dear!"

With the last request she turned to her husband to see his darkened expression. His red eyes stated straight at the king, flickering with anger and frustration. "I'm not a tool for mass murder. And above all, I am not yours to wield. I will judge the situation there myself and I doubt there is justification for such a line of action. Now, if you will excuse us? My wife and me haven't eaten yet."

Without waiting for a response, Nathaniel strode out, tugging Katherine along. She didn't protest. Staring at his tense shoulders from behind, she wondered what else he had endured from this impossible man. Nobody should shoulder such a weight alone. When Nathaniel finally stopped and heaved a sigh, she embraced him from behind. Her head rested on his shoulder blade.

At first, she felt him stiffen, then relax as his hands gently topped hers. They just stood there on the bottom of the stairs for a moment. The tension slowly washed from his body, and it was alike with her. Despite this, she felt restless remembering what the king had said.

She couldn't help asking: "You won't use your magic like this again, right? You nearly died last time."

"I will do anything not to", he answered, but the possibility that there might not be a choice swung in the air like a bad smell.

Katherine pressed her mouth in a line, then she continued: "And what about my cousin? You really won't collaborate with him again, will you?"

"I won't." This time, he spoke instantly, though his voice was soft. She believed it. A small smile lifted up her lips. That was at least something.

"Is it just because of me?"

He paused. "Mostly, but he is also not a likable man. Katherine..."

When she heard the tone of his voice, she brushed a kiss against his spine and relished in his small skip of breath. Then she loosened her embrace to let him turn around. His eyes now burned in a different light than they had when he faced the king. This was a burn of tenderness and affection. Gently, he rested his gloved palm against her cheek.

"You must know I will never let him stand between us. I am even... deliberating if the kingdom is worth the sacrifices I need to make to reign it." His brows furrowed as his thumb ċȧrėssed her temple. In his thoughts, he seemed to be far away. Then, he suddenly returned and with him the piercing authority he carried when he decided on something. "You are not allowed to make any sacrifices in my fight for the throne. Not a single one, understood?"

But Katherine didn't understand. With more power than necessary, she slapped his hand away. "What's that? You think I'm a child that needs protection anywhere it goes? I want to stand beside you, not in a cushioned locked-up room. If there will be sacrifices, we will make them together. Together, you hear me? So, you better make your decision now: kingdom, or no?"

Nathaniel's expression turned dark again. "You don't need to do that. This is my fight."

Katherine's eyes squinted, but she soon noticed that she wouldn't come far with sheer willpower. She had to offer an exchange, even if it was just one on the surface. "If you won't let me stand by your side in your fights, then don't even think about supporting me in mine. Because regardless of what it costs me, I will have my cousin's head."

As the declaration reverberated in the air, Katherine thought for the fraction of a second that Nathaniel would just ignore it, thinking that it was a fraud, but then she saw him grit his teeth. "Your damn stubborn blockhead! Why won't you just let me protect you?"

With straight shoulders and determination in her eyes she looked up at him, as if she was proud to be called that way. "Because nobody would protect you then, isn't that clear?"

Her arrogance triggered and amused him at the same time. If she weren't so young and harmless, he would say she had the air of a queen. Yet, he couldn't let her choose her own demise. He had to make her realize that she could contribute nothing to his fight. "And what will you do then? Stand in front of me to catch the arrows?"

"Yes, if I have to. Because I, at least, will not die of it. And you will not die, even when you use your magic. But only if I am by your side, you understand? We can go through everything together!"

Surprisingly, he did not have an argument against this. Averting his eyes, he said: "First we should see if your magic can really do anything against mine. If not, you can't stand beside me in a fight anyway."

Taking a deep breath, Katherine calmed her temper. "Fine. Let's do this right after breakfast."

Then she suddenly smiled brilliantly. "And don't think I didn't notice your affection. I just want you to know that I am not a glass figure. As long as you don't try to lock me up in a cabinet, we are fine. More than fine, actually."

Seeing the glitter in her violet eyes, Nathaniel didn't know how to respond to that. The mood swings if his wife were a bit too fast for him to catch early in the morning, so he just held out his arm for her. She took it and as she snuggled by his side, their argument seemed to be forgotten already. At least, until they stepped into the training space.