Chapter 24

“Let’s go upstairs together, Rafael. I’ll hold your hand.”

Annette was anxious but didn’t show it and carefully held Rafael’s big hand. At first, he shook it off, but soon he held her hand together as he was dizzy. Annette supported him and led him to his bedroom.

A staggering Rafael flopped down on the edge of the bed. His sword  fell down along with him. He couldn’t even support himself as he was very drunk. It was impossible to ask him about anything today.

Annette took off his clothes and socks, and gently laid him on the bed. Unlike usual,  Rafael accepted her help without saying anything. His eyelids were half-closed, and his face was somewhat flushed because of the alcohol. Nevertheless, he was so handsome that his drunken appearance looked rather decadent and erotic.

“Go to sleep early tonight, Rafael. I’ll tell the chef to prepare some hangover soup for you tomorrow.”

Annette whispered, while sweeping away his black hair that had flopped down over his straight forehead. She didn’t know why, but Rafael looked very tired now. He looked like a person who was struggling to suppress something inside of him.

Annette looked down at him with sad eyes. At that moment, Rafael suddenly grabbed her hand, which was caressing his forehead, and pulled her towards him. Annette fell on his body and wasn’t even able to scream.

Rafael’s handsome face was just right in front of her. Blinking his eyes that looked as blue as the Northern sea, Rafael muttered,

“I…. I hate you.”

The moment she heard it, Annette felt her heart sink. Even though she knew this very well, she was still badly hurt when she heard it herself. Annette actually thought she was getting along with Rafael this time. However, it seemed to be her own delusion.

Annette bit her lip and pulled her hand from his grasp. Then she tried to get away from  his hard body. But Rafael stretched out his hand and pressed her back down, making her come even more closer to his body. Now Annette was half hugging him. Rafael raised his other hand and stroked Annette’s cheek.

“You’ll hate me anyway.”

Annette couldn’t understand what was going on in Rafael’s mind. It was meaningless to be angry at a drunk person anyway. So Annette lowered her eyes and whispered in a small voice.

“No, Rafael.”

There were times in her previous life when she hated Rafael. He was like a fretful man who couldn’t control himself. Annette, who was already mentally and physically unstable due to the shock of her father’s abandonment, could not bear it.

Her marriage to Rafael and the sudden change in reality that was caused due to the false accusation were too much for her. She ended up suffering from mental stress and died young. Even though her previous marriage was terrible, there was only one reason why Annette had been able to endure Rafael’s quarrels for so long.

‘Because the only person who stayed beside me until the end was Rafael.’

When Annette was in good health, Rafael was the worst husband to her, but ironically he became a good husband when she fell ill. He nursed her faithfully for about two years when she was bedridden.

Of course, Rafael’s temper didn’t change, so sometimes he threw the soup away and yelled at her. But in the end, he would always crawl next to her with a regretful face, check her temperature, and help her get dressed. When she thought of that time, Annette did not hate Rafael as much as before. Even though she married him again this time without a choice, still… She wanted to dream of a happy future… if possible with him.

“I don’t hate you. Rafael, you’re my family.”

Annette, with a bitter smile, reached out and stroked his cheek. Then Rafael’s sleek eyebrows furrowed and he pushed her hand away. He coldly rejected her touch.

“No, I am not your family. It’s the great Bavaria. Isn’t it?”

Rafael’s words became more harsh. Even his drunken stupor could not stop his sharp tongue.

“Rafael!”

When Annette heard that, she wanted to cry. She had a lot to say, but she couldn’t get her words out of her mouth. She had never felt this miserable.

Her father had abandoned her, and her only brother was in a distant empire across the sea. Now that her new sister-in-law, Claire, had also returned to her empire, the only family left of Annette was Rafael. But even he hated her.

Seeing this, Rafael reached out and covered her eyes. And he muttered in a low voice,

“Don’t look at me like that, damn it. Every time you look at me like that, I..”

Instead of finishing his words, Rafael stubbornly pursed his lips. He didn’t even want to look at her eyes. Seeing this, Annette’s eyes filled with tears. The transparent tears eventually fell and landed on Rafael’s palm. Startled by this, Rafael withdrew his hand as if he had been burned.

“Are you crying?”

Rafael drunkenly  looked up at Annette’s face with soft eyes. Annette calmly wiped her tears and swallowed her grief. Due to the strict education of the Bavarian family, she was used to hiding her feelings. Annette, who skillfully concealed the wounds of her heart, calmly said,

“I know why you’re talking in that way, Rafael. I understand. But you are my only husband, and I regard you as a precious family member. I  mean it.”

Annette smiled sadly with red eyes. Then Rafael, who was looking up at her with a look of disapproval, repeated what he had said earlier.

“But I hate you.”

When Annette heard that, she felt suffocated. Before her calm demeanor could fall apart, she quickly got up and got off the bed. Perhaps she was the only one who thought that this marriage was better than before.

Annette returned to her room and couldn’t sleep all night. She was determined to protect Rafael by fighting against her father’s tyranny. But after listening to Rafael’s drunken words, her mind changed a little.

‘Is it possible for me to protect Rafael in the first place? He is… suffering because of me.’

In fact, there was only one effective solution. She just didn’t want to admit it.

For Rafael’s life to be comfortable, Annette had to leave him. Then her father would not be able to use her to ask for something from Rafael. Besides, he wouldn’t have to look at her awful face anymore. He would feel more relaxed then.

Annette laughed bitterly. Unlike others, she got to live twice, but Annette could not live peacefully in either lives. She tried her best every moment, but why couldn’t she always get away from being treated as a nuisance? When she remembered her father’s cold face, which she hadn’t seen for a long time,it made her feel sadder.

‘Yes, let’s find a way tomorrow.’

She could not dream of a new life without any preparation or direction. Even if she returned and improved her conditions than before, Annette was still a flower in a greenhouse. So, this time, before leaving the greenhouse, she was going to prepare as thoroughly as possible. So that she wouldn’t wither like she did in her previous life.

Annette tried hard to sleep, lowering her wet eyelashes with sadness. She hoped that tomorrow would be a better day.

The next day, Rafael got out of bed clutching his head. He was in a bad condition  because he couldn’t sleep due to the terrible hangovers and sleepwalking. However, today’s sword training could not be skipped. All that Rafael had now was obtained only by the tip of his sword.

‘Now it won’t be long before I become the Sword Master.‘

Rafael washed his face and wore his training suit with terribly exhausted eyes. He couldn’t afford to collapse now at the last step of his goal. Rafael knew a number of warriors who failed to get through this final stage. So he was more nervous than ever.

His face reflected in the mirror looked terrible. The area around his blue eyes was sore, his beard was overgrown and his skin had a dull complexion. If you looked at this skeleton, how could a woman like Annette Bavaria like that?

‘Yes she must hate it too. Come to think of it, I felt like I saw Annette before I went to bed yesterday.’

He couldn’t remember the conversation he had with her, but he remembered the tears that had fallen from Annette’s petal like eyes. Rafael reflexively looked down at his palm. The dirty feeling got even worse.

“Fuck.”

In fact, Annette was doing better than he thought. Even though she was from prideful  Bavaria, she wasn’t arrogant and respected him, an illegitimate child as her husband. Not only that, she never got angry with him, no matter how mean he was. He truly wanted to pay homage to her amazing patience.

Seeing that Annette even cried, it seemed  he was too drunk yesterday and spoke quite harshly to her. Rafael smiled bitterly, thinking he had nothing to say if she wanted a divorce. Somehow the word “divorce” evoked a creepy feeling in his heart.

‘Maybe I’m feeling like that because of my mood.’

Rafael’s footsteps stopped as he was going downstairs. It was because he could see Annette humming softly by the window of the drawing room. The moment she met his eyes, Annette suddenly stopped humming.

‘Are you angry?’

Rafael looked at her with a blank gaze.. It was natural to expect her to hate a drunk husband who went in late and spat out curses. As he waited for Annette to turn away from him, he nervously clenched his fist. He wasn’t even aware of his own emotions.

But Annette smiled at him, as if nothing had happened. There was no resentment directed towards him in her eyes. Annette got up from her seat and approached him slowly.

Rafael couldn’t say anything and just watched her approach him. Soon, she stopped in front of him and greeted him kindly.

“Hi, Rafael. Did you sleep well? How are you feeling?”

Rafael clenched his fists more tightly.

‘How could  this woman smile and talk like this to me?’