Chapter 79: Soliloquy

The rain poured hard and heavy over our heads. The sudden cloudy skies were followed by an equally sudden downpour.

Sudden because since I've been in this world, in this body, I've never experienced rainfall.

Kaylin jumped out of the carriage immediately, saying something about her Goddess bringing fortune and bounty, leaving Anselm and I to struggle against the pot hole that'd trapped one of our wheels.

I find the rain to be a cliché but an apt full stop, marking the end…for now, of my struggles in Carbina. And perhaps, like the pothole Anselm and I now struggle to pull ourselves out of, it marks the beginning of a new type of misfortune.

It's a stretch for symbolism, but it's there.

It's the first rain of the year and my life in this world and it's the first time I've willed myself to actively look for trouble instead of simply stumbling into it or finding convenient ways to take advantage of others.

The pour set my hair and every single crevasse of me wet with water, admittedly, it's been a while so the wash from the heavens is a relief. But with the pour drowning my ears and flowing down on me like a shower-which I haven't experienced in this world- my hair keeps getting in my eyes and sticking to it.

It's a bit of a distraction from my pushing and pulling of the carriage, however, it also highlights, for the first time since I took notice of the new body I occupied in the cave, that my hair has grown a significant length.

And I even have a fairly wild stache hanging off my face.

"We should probably lift that chest off before we-"

"Right, right, you're right." I nod at Anselm's suggestion.

A rather large chest sat at the top of the carriage, tied in place by the strong ropes we found back in Carbina. The chest contained much of my newly acquired wealth in all sorts of forms.

By this time, a day away from Aste, I'd long gotten over the sense of guilt that riddled me and appreciated my quick thinking.

Leriva wouldn't be fussed over me taking her fortunes; Carbina is no more, and if what I have planned is to be any success, then I'd be building something far greater than Carbina could have ever been.

It's an added bonus as I'd be going directly against the Synagogue and the Kingdom.

Carbina's treasury and Leriva's private stash of various expensive clothing and jewels aren't the only addition to the gang though. Kaylin made a solid point that it would be best if I don't stand out.

She's right. My purple get up, even the black copy is all too attention catching. And if I want to be a revolutionary-the type I have in mind-I don't simply want attention for my fashion sense.

So, with that in mind I changed my wardrobe. Currently, I'm being soaked wet with water while wearing a loose red shirt what has the sleeves stopping just before my wrists, black leather trousers tucked into fine strong leather boots.

It's a quiet style. Fit into the crowd style. The best for a place like Aste.

"You two are still at this?" Kaylin stomps towards us in the mud, catching us as we cooperate in lifting the chest safely off the top.

"You could help you know?" Anselm quips back.

"And you call yourself a Knight!" Kaylin scoffs, outraged as she screams over the rain, "A lady shouldn't sully herself with manual labour!"

"You're not a lady though," I say with a grunt as the chests weight is set on the floor at last, "You're a free elf, a fugitive anywhere on this continent, I think it'll serve you well to help us get going."

Kaylin rolls her eyes but nonetheless, gets behind the carriage and starts pushing.

It's easier now, without the extra weight of the chest we get the stuck wheel bobbing out of the hole, with some well-timed pushes it'll be out soon.

"Why are we going back to Aste anyway? I don't think the journey to Carbina and back is the journey Vuius had in mind for me." Kaylin says.

She's brought up this point of hers before, several times actually. Only kept at bay by my obvious bad mood and Anselm's subtly warnings not to prod any further. But she's relentless.

"So you would dare to presume the thoughts of your Goddess now, Kaylin? Isn't that some kind of blasphemy?" I retort, a lot more interested in struggling against the weight of the carriage than talk, "Anselm, get the horse to pull while we push." 

He nods and scurries to the front, soon the horse neighs and starts to pull on the carriage while we push. A moment later the wheel is set loose from the pestering hole and we're once again free to ride on our journey.

I let out a sigh of relief, happy to be done with that arduous task and start heading back in only for my path to be blocked off by Kaylin.

She stands in my way and in the rain, her white hair, long and stuck all over, her loose shirt clinging to her features and her lips turning blue from the cold.

"Don't think I haven't caught you trying to ignore my question, Asher. Why are we headed back to Aste? Tired of me already?"

With a view like this? Not so soon. Still, I bite my lip and run my hair back with my hand, "We're going to Aste because it has a large population of elves, suffering, contrite elves subject to the mercies of a species technically lesser than them, the hate is palpable."

She narrows her eyes at me, "I'm not sure how that's a good thing. Is all the gold you took going to be for them? You think you can buy the elves with money?"

She shakes her head disapprovingly, "We may be contrite and under the boot of humans but we still have our pride, they won't give you their life for a few coins, Asher."

"I know that, and I do plan on letting you and Anselm in on the plan…" Once I've got a full picture of what it looks like anyway, "But for now, just trust that I know what I'm doing."

"You know what you're doing but you're still doing it." She retorts with a glare.

I know what she's talking about, whatever my plan is, it's obvious the Synagogue and the Kingdom will be something we're exposed to as a result of it, not exactly what Maylin agreed to when she gave me her daughter to protect but…

I know what I'm doing, I will know what I'm doing, and soon. I just have to get to Aste and then, then everything will start making sense, the skeletal structure of a plan I have now will be filled up with muscles and organs and have a vital, strong heart beating at it's centre.

"Get in, you'll catch a cold or worse." She's reluctant to follow through but her clothing provides near nonexistence protection from the cold blowing winds that wash her with rain.

She gives in and scurries into the back of the carriage, I follow after her and drop the curtain flaps to spare us the bits of rain that would pour in other wise.

"I need to change my top." She shivers, fixing me with an expectant look.

I nod and pull out a stick of dried meat from my bag and turn around, staring at the wall as I munch on the stick.

Whereas Kaylin and most certainly Anselm have problems of their own with the decision to head back to Aste, I too have my own reservations.

Most pressing is sustenance.

No, I've got an abundance of food; meat, vegetables, cereals even.

No, the sustenance I need can only come from the death of a Cultist.

At long last the consequence of my pact with Lotar begin to rear its ugly head.

Supernatural hunger, a hunger and thirst for the blood and death of a Cultist, the enemy of many but more importantly, Lotar. The hunger I feel in my stomach…is not hunger.

It's difficult to put into words but if I'd have to, I'd say it felt like a small abyss in my being, somewhere within me there's a hole that needs to be filled up desperately. The consequences of it being empty are simply feelings of hunger and thirst.

It's been more than a week since I last killed a Cultist, and I started to feel this abyss within me not long after the journey to Carbina from Aste started. Since then, the quiet, not so right feeling within me has blossomed into an outright pang, a continuous hymn of discomfort and a mild urge to stuff my face.

As it stands now, I can only wonder how long before it becomes unbearable. However, Aste is still my best chance at finding a Cultist camp to clear out and sate myself.

As much as I loathe Lotar at the moment, it does press the issue that I haven't gotten any stronger, I've discovered new spells within myself sure, but nothing truly ground breaking.

And I need something ground breaking if any of what I scheme is to fall into perfect place. 

"Asher!" Anselm calls from outside, "You haven't forgotten the chest have you? We still have to hoist it back on."

"Ughh…" I can only groan, my newly acquired wealth is very heavy.