63 If your best point is only having sex

"I won't give in." She puts her palms on his chest. She's surprised to find it smooth and clean. The wounds are already healed. Instead of pushing him away, she runs her palms over his chest. "Not even a scar."

Fu Sheng doesn't utter a word. He watches her face intently. Momentarily, she forgets about her goal, distracted by what's in front of her eyes. She runs her fingers downward toward his toned abdomen, tracing the sculpted abs. Her feathery touch makes him quiver. He holds back from pounding onto her. He sees curiosity mixed with rising concupiscence in those peach blossom eyes. Her fingers stop on his belly button.

"You could have been a model." She meets his gaze. "Do you work out every day to maintain this body?"

"..." What type of question is that? 

Huang Qiuyan clicks her tongue in disapproval. "I don't like men who are too sexy. They are bad news. There will always be women chasing after you."

"..." How does he reduce his sexiness? Can't she just appreciate that she has him?

"Even if you were a human, I would never marry you. You aren't husband material." Huang Qiuyan looks at him with disinterest. "I won't just marry any man who wants to be with me. I will be with the man who isn't like you. That's my new criteria."

His lips press together into a thin line. She's challenging his patience. 

"These sexual feelings aren't important to me. I want a good man. You might be a good father, but you are not a good man." Seeing him silently listening to her, she gains some courage and grabs his collar. "What's so special about you anyway? If your best point is only having sex, are you any better than a male prostitute? You can fly and use magic, but I don't want those things. I like Fu Mian, but I won't settle to live an eternity with a man like you for her. You are incapable of giving me what I want."

Solemnly, she adds, "You always seduce me using the bond. Is that the best you can do? Continue to seduce me then. I will give in each time you seduce me if that satisfies your ego. I will also enjoy it since I have no other choice. However, I won't be brainwashed into thinking that I have feelings for you. These feelings are a lie."

She refuses to believe that the urge to let him take all of her is her will. It's the bond. Before turning into a vampire, she lived her life looking for any man who would just accept her as his wife. She has been taught not to have pride. Maybe her pride was killed by the world. After countless dates, she was still single. The neighborhood aunties gossiped about her. Her family looked down on her. Is a woman's life only dependent on man? The system also told her that she subconsciously found a man more reliable. 

She knows that she doesn't need a man to depend on. She doesn't need anyone to protect her. She died once. It's ridiculous. When she was human, she was worried about being called a leftover woman. Now, she's a vampire. Her age is frozen. She's going to live for a long time unless she's killed first. But she's not afraid of being called a leftover woman. She's not afraid of dying either. She wants someone who wants her for who she is -- not because of some damn bond. She wants a mutual love -- real love. Is it too much to ask for love? She wants to experience being in love. She wants someone who loves her back voluntarily. She doesn't want someone who wants her because of a damn bond.