74 I don't feel abnormal

[Elder Sister, isn't it just better to ignore him and continue living here quietly until you get the chance to leave?]

She doesn't respond to Xiao Chun Dan's question. She follows Aiken quietly. The castle is made from black stones. She has noticed the walls which were broken by her when she was here last time are standing intact. She realizes that she doesn't see anyone other than Aiken. Even when she left Fu Sheng's room earlier, she didn't see anyone roaming around either. Who else lives here other than the purebloods and Fu Mian? 

"Lady Huang, this is your room." Aiken points at the door. "Please wait here. I will send someone to become your guide. I will make the other arrangements. If you need anything, you just have to say my name out loud once. Please excuse me."

"Uh..." Huang Qiuyan looks at the only pureblood who wears glasses. "What's your name?"

Aiken blinks his eyes. Did he not introduce himself? He smacks his forehead in embarrassment before he bows down deeply. "I must apologize to you for my grave mistake. You can call me Aiken."

Just Aiken? How will she address him properly? He's definitely a lot senior to her.

She looks at him solemnly. "Can I know the family name, Sir?"

He smiles at her politely. "Lady Huang, I cannot tell you that. The names have powers. Only the king and my mate are allowed to know according to the laws set by the first pureblood king in this world."

[Pureblood vampires are quite rare. It's not unusual that they are quite secretive.]

But Fu Sheng is Fu Sheng. He has a family name. "Why does Fu Sheng has a family name then?"

Aiken looks away uneasily. "The name 'Fu' was taken by the 6th king. It carries a deep message for the royal bloodline. I am not sure whether I should tell you or not, my lady. You are a recent convert. You are mentally more human than a vampire currently. You might find it hurtful."

She hasn't expected to hear that. What he means is she's a vampire with a human heart. She can't understand them, even if he tells her. Why do these purebloods act so differently? They look human in every way. 

"If you suddenly become a human one day, will you be able to let go of your past as a vampire?" Huang Qiuyan asks him with a sharp voice. 

Aiken doesn't meet her chilling gaze. She's still his king's mate, not an average convert. He can't offend her or talk to her in the same tone, even if she loses her temper. Then, she doesn't know anything. 

Seeing him being silent, she adds loudly, "What's wrong if I am more human than a vampire mentally anyway? I don't find anything wrong with it."

He explains to her with a light voice, "Lady Huang, it's a fact that a vampire can never become a human, especially a pureblood. Purebloods are born, just like humans. They can die under certain conditions. So, they are not completely immortal. But converts are different."

"When a human is turning into a vampire, his heart stops. When it beats again, it beats as a vampire's heart." He tells her quietly, "Since the human dies once before he is resuscitated as a vampire, he carries the emotional baggage of his human life in his vampire's heart. It can be a wish, a regret, a grudge, or hatred. These human feelings often become a burden in the convert's life. They often spend their immortality trying to fulfill the wishes of their human lives. They are often never satisfied. Some converts even lose control and become a threat to both vampires and humans."

Human feelings that can become a burden? Huang Qiuyan wonders if she has something like that. What did she desperately wish for when she was a human? She wanted to get married to any decent man, but she was always rejected. After turning into a vampire, she would rather be alone than be with someone whom she doesn't want.

She doesn't have a burden. Rather, she's freed from a burden.Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click www.webnovel.com for visiting.

[A vampire with some emotional baggage from human life is certainly dangerous.]

[You are saying that I have emotional baggage, Xiao Chun Dan?]

[Elder Sister, you asked me to find you a husband during the apocalypse. Do I need to say more?]

[I don't have the same wish anymore.]

"All converts carry them, especially when they are recently converted. If the feelings are too strong, they often can't see what they need to see or understand. It can last for a long time. At least, that's what I have learned from observing the converts. Actually, it's a side effect of conversion."

Aiken sighs when she looks at him like he has grown two heads. Certainly, she hasn't accepted the fact that she is no longer a human. It's not strange. She didn't choose to become a vampire. 

"When a human dies, his soul leaves everything behind when it crosses over the river of oblivion. The feelings are also left behind. The human can start over without any baggage of the past life, except for the debts that he needs to pay." 

He might as well explain everything to her. It's always up to the converts to deal with the demons that they inherit from their human lives. 

"I don't have those feelings." Huang Qiuyan tells him confidently, "I don't feel abnormal."

Except for the bond, she doesn't find anything unusual when it comes to her feelings.

[I don't think that it's true.]