151 Despite every reason

The foreboding feeling in the pit of Xiao Chun Dan's stomach becomes stronger when he sees the sky turning pale green. Strong winds are blowing, being a herald of a storm. He swallows, staring at the horizon. This strange place links the soul, mind, and the magic inside Huang Qiuyan. He feels the rush of torrential energy into space. The core is also changing rapidly, devouring all the energy like a glutton. 

"Did she already reach the Fae gate?" He creases his forehead and stares at the tree in front of him. What can he do now? He looks at his hands. The aberrant energy is also affecting him, changing him in unpredictable ways. Taking deep breaths, he looks through the upgrades. He's been able to direct the energies previously. Then, he should be able to do it now. At this moment, both Li Dai Yu and Huang Qiuyan are in a vulnerable state. 

He directs the chaotic energy toward the roots of the tree. Hopefully, his host would be smart enough to do what is necessary.

"Li Dai Yu!" Huang Qiuyan bellows. She struggles to get free as the roots ties around her mouth. Only her muffled screams escape. She feels a force trying to crush her as if she's dissipating into something else. She forces herself to keep awake. 

"Yan'er, do your best." She hears her brother's voice. "Don't lose to her."

All of a sudden, she senses the same roots vibrating with energy. Feeling that it's the energy from the Fae gate, she begins to absorb it. As the roots tighten around her, she feels stronger. She clenches her fists and squeezes her eyes. After ripping away roots, she could see the light shining through the crack. Huang Qiuyan follows the light until she reaches a dark empty place. 

"You are here."

Huang Qiuyan sees a woman standing in front of her, an exact copy of her except for her eyes. Li Dai Yu's eyes are vivid green. Huang Qiuyan purses her lips in rage. 

"Even now, you are holding back." Li Dai Yu lets out an exasperated sigh. 

"Did you hurt them?" Huang Qiuyan glares at her.

"He says that you and I are the same." Li Di Yu cocks her head and smirks at her, "If we are the same, it means that it was you who hurt them."

Huang Qiuyan takes a step back as the memories of Li Dai Yu appears before her. She has hurt Jin. She killed Meng Su Yin. She even destroyed her brother's body. All those humans… She even tried to hurt Fu Mian. 

"I should have killed this little girl." Li Dai Yu stares at the body of Fu Mian standing between her and Fu Sheng. "As a punishment to you and Fu Sheng."

"Why are you doing this?" Huang Qiuyan asks her with a trembling voice. The scariest part is that Li Dai Yu is a part of her. She can't deny the fact that it was her who hurt everyone. 

Huang Qiuyan sits down on her knees. She closes her eyes as the memories appear before her one by one -- her parents love for her brother, the disappointments, every failure, and the way she had to change herself to please her family. While trying so hard to please her parents and become what everyone expected from her, she has been killing herself slowly. She's the one who created Li Dai Yu -- someone who had the courage to do what she wanted whether it was right or wrong. Li Dai Yu won't be affected by society's expectations or her family's disappointments whenever she failed. Li Dai Yu is someone who could stand against Fu Sheng's will and look into his eyes without fear. Li Dai Yu had the courage to run after what she wanted, unlike her who always gave up before she even tried.

"So, you know now." Li Dai Yu walks to her and squats down. "Give up. It's futile to struggle, Huang Qiuyan. Your new life is hard. You can't become a vampire queen. You can't become what Fu Sheng expects from you. Someone like you isn't right to become someone's mother. You can't give what Xiao Chun Dan wants from you. You are not what they need."

When she hears no reply, Li Dai Yu raises Huang Qiuyan's chin. "Your body… Give it to me. Go to sleep. I will handle the rest."

"I can't do that.' Huang Qiuyan grasps Li Dai Yu's neck. "You are right. I am not what they need. I can't become a queen. I am not as strong as Fu Sheng is. I don't know if I can be what Fu Mian needs. Despite every reason why I don't feel that I should be with them, I want to be with them."

"Is that enough?" Li Dai Yu smirks at her, "Huang Qiuyan, can you go back and look into their eyes?  If you do this, my sins become yours. You don't have the courage. Then, why do you want to take the hard road now?"

"Hard road?" Huang Qiuyan lets out a laugh. Why didn't she think of this before? "Li Dai Yu, Fu Sheng is right. You and I are the same. You can't see it? I will show it to you. In the first twenty-eight years of my life, I took the hard road when I decided to let others define my life. I was afraid of taking charge of my life. When I became a vampire, I wanted to take charge of my life. It was an easy path. Accepting the bond and letting Fu Sheng love me was the hard path for me. If you were courageous, you wouldn't think of going to another world to break the bond. You would have accepted the bond and stayed beside Fu Sheng."

"What garbage are you uttering?" Li Dai Yu claws Huang Qiuyan's face. "I am different from you."