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Chapter 16
“Yuri,” Fren called Yuria, anxiously staring at her closed eyes, searching for the answers no one could give. He wished for nothing more than for her to wake up and look at him warmly while she hugged him tight. Fren had never had an easy life, but now was by far the most difficult, painful, and stressful time he’d experienced.
“Is Yuri hurt?”
Please. Fren prayed, hoping Yuria would respond. She didn’t cry, so she wasn’t sad. Thus, she was probably in pain, Yuria’s head bobbed as she tossed and turned as if confirming his doubts. In reality, she just moved her head to a more comfortable position, but to Fren, it felt like Yuria’s answer.
Yuri is hurt.
‘If you are sick, you should be treated.’ That was what Yuria had said, if you’re hurt you should be treated, then you’ll feel better.
“…Treatment.” She would get better with treatment. If he treated her, Yuria wouldn’t be sick anymore, she would open her eyes and hug him. That thought was reassuring enough, allowing Fren to take a deep breath and exhale all his worries. Now he properly understood her previous words; hadn’t she said that when someone important is hurt, you feel hurt too? The wounds had healed and the pain had ceased yet, Fren felt pain. His heart ached as if it was being wrung of all his blood.
Fren began busily working to cure Yuria. He remembered where Yuria had grabbed the first-aid kit form. Although it was kept in one of the tallest cabinets, Fren climbed atop a chair, and pulled it down for he had done many things much more difficult than this. Once finding the ointment he recalled how Yuria applied ointment to the wounds thus, he had to do the same to cure the sick Yuria. However, Fren did not know where she was hurt since there were no visible wounds on Yuria’s body.
Then everywhere. If he didn’t know where it hurt, wouldn’t it be better to apply it everywhere? With that thought, Fren swathed his hands in ointment, and smeared it onto any part of Yuria he could. Yet his hands were like those of a doll, so even hours later there was no sign of an end. Nonetheless, Fren was fully focused on applying the ointment, unaware of how much time had passed.
The child’s only hope was that Yuria would get better and come to her senses thanks to the ointment. Fren’s expression portrayed how desperate he was, like hanging from a jagged cliff with a fraying rope.
How long has it been? Yuria’s body was smothered with ointment. Fren’s face filled with anticipation upon seeing his task accomplished.
Now Yuri… Fren instinctively clasped his hands together and waited. For the first time, he prayed. Prayed that Yuria would wake up. Prayed that she would no longer be sick.
Suddenly, Yuria’s body began trembling and turning pale. He did wipe Yuria’s body with the curtain, but it was natural for her body to cool down after the fever was gone, plus, her body was still soaked from before.
“…Cold?” Fren realized Yuria was cold at the sight of her blue lips.
If it’s cold, you need to warm it up.
So Fren determinedly searched the house again looking for something to cover her body instead of the wet curtains and blankets. He picked up every piece of cloth he could find, it didn’t matter what the original purpose was, as long as he could use them to warm up Yuria’s frigid body. The heap of cloth he had collected towered over him and obstructed his sight. After a few steps, one piece fell off the heap, falling to the floor. Fren noticed this and tried to pick it back up, but another piece of cloth fell off just as he grabbed the first. This occurred multiple times thus, Fren decided he would pick up the fallen cloth later. Finally, after a hard struggle, he reached the bed and placed the cloth he had brought on top of it.
Then, very carefully, one by one, he covered Yuria’s body. Once finished, he picked up the cloth that had previously fallen on the floor and added it to the pile. Covered in an unknown amount of cloth, Yuria resembled a pupa.
Seemingly uncomfortable, Yuria tossed and turned, but did not open her eyes. Fren looked at her with tearful eyes.
“Why?” The question flowed through his lips. He had treated her pain. He had put ointment on her.
Then why? Why doesn’t she wake up?
Why isn’t she getting better?
Is Yuri disappearing forever?
Then, what about Fren?
Will Fren be alone again?
The child burst into tears. While weeping silently, Fren clutched Yuria’s hand. It was the only thing he could hold on to, so he didn’t want to let go, lest he was to lose her. Fren didn’t have the confidence to face the harsh world by himself again.
Then death. Yes, Fren would die. He’d only survived because his body was resilient in the face of death, even if he wanted to die, even if tried, he didn’t die, so he endured. He had no regrets in the first place, so there was no reason to delay leaving this world. Yuria was the reason he felt alive. He would rather die than live in a world without her full of darkness. His life was given to him by Yuri, and his world was created by her. Life was meaningless without Yuria.
This very moment, it already felt as if Fren was dying, but Fren hesitated. It was because of Yuria’s warmth at least, he wanted to be by Yuria’s side until the warmth disappeared. He wanted to feel that warmth as long as possible, then he would think about her in his last moment.
How much has time passed? Yuria felt cramped as she opened her eyes. It was difficult to move as if something was piled up all over her body. It was different from the heavy she felt when waking up in the morning, in addition she felt unbearably… sticky.
As soon as her blurry vision focused, all Yuria could see was a mound of cloth. She tilted her head, wondering what was going on; she was sure Fren was hugging her when she fell asleep. Her gaze soon followed the sound of sobbing. There, stood Fren at her bedside, looking at Yuria as if he had lost his whole world, he tightly held Yuri’s hand through the layers of cloth piled up on her body. Tears continually ran down his cheeks, as he gazed at Yuria.
He couldn’t move a single finger. Yuria didn’t open her eyes, and the longer Fren waited, the closer the jaws came to sealing him within something very frightening. If Yuria hadn’t opened her eyes until the end, Fren would have given up his life without any hesitation. Fren had clearly sensed the foreboding of his own death, yet he simply stood there waiting.
“Fren?” Yuria, astonished by Fren’s tears, called him with trembling eyes. She didn’t know why Fren was crying, and didn’t even think to wipe away his tears due to the suddenness of their appearance. Regardless it would have been useless, Fren was weeping nonstop, like storm clouds during a monsoon. Not only did Fren’s eyes well up with tears but his heart did. The silent tears were ever the more heartbreaking, like a knife had slashed her heart, and each drop deepened the gash, causing the river of blood spilling from her heart to rise. Her fingers were numb, and her body felt cramped as if something was crushing it. Yuria held her breath, the child shedding tears reflected in her eyes.
Fren opened his mouth to answer, but no sound came out. Emotions roiled inside him, rendering him unable to speak, only able to sob in silence. He felt pain. An unbearable pain. It hurt more than someone jabbing him with a huge needle; more than being pushed into a raging fire; more than a sharp knife piercing his stomach. Even if he was standing, Fren felt like the world was crumbling.
But luckily, Yuria opened her eyes.
“Don’t cry, Fren,” Yuria said quietly, wiggling her hand that Fren held from under the pile of cloth that tightly wrapped her body.
“…”
The child quietly looked at Yuria. Fren didn’t even know he was crying, so he couldn’t understand why Yuria was telling him not to. He didn’t know what tears were, and he didn’t even know he could shed them.
“No, you can cry. But I’m fine.” Yuria spoke, she didn’t want Fren to grow up holding his tears so she wouldn’t tell him to hold his tears, regardless of whether or not seeing them pained her.
“…Yuri. Hurt. Yuri is hurt.” The small voice came out as if choking. Fren still didn’t comprend Yuria’s words, only looking at her with wide eyes.
“Sorry.” Seeing him cry in such pain caused Yuria extreme guilt, knowing she was the reason behind his tears. How much did he cry while she was asleep? Without anyone to soothe him… all alone… Why? Why did she leave him alone without comforting him?
Since she had never been sick while living here, she thought she would be fine despite the unorthodox event that had occurred the day before.
Why today?
How frightened the little child must have been seeing her lay motionlessly on the bed. Becoming sick was uncontrollable, but thinking how hurt Fren must have felt, Yuri felt she should’ve been able to endure a small cold especially during Fren’s first couple days with her.
“Yuri hurt, so Fren gave treatment. I put on ointment and covered Yuri with a blanket.”
Only once hearing his small voice speaking so tearfully did Yuria understand the strange wetness and stickiness she was feeling. He had applied ointment on her thinking that would help her condition, and placed cloth on her due to her shivering, so she wouldn’t feel cold.
Such deep, and warm affection made Yuria feel like crying.
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