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Chapter 20
Family. It was a very meaningful and precious word to Yuria, maybe even more so because she didn’t fully enjoy it, something that was so natural to some. Yuria longed for and valued family so much, always wishing to have a proper family. Whenever she had the chance, if given the opportunity, she wanted to create her own family, and cherish that family. Rather than being hurt and in pain by herself, she wanted to create a relationship where she could have a safe place to look for comfort and support, and because she’d never experienced it before, she was more fond of the idea. She felt like she could do anything if she had a family. It was such a precious and meaningful word that couldn’t be explained, for Yuria, the word held the greatest and deepest meaning of all.
Hence why she wanted to give it to Fren. She wanted them to have a special relationship unique to each other where they could depend on each other at any time. It might be too early, and Fren may not yet fully understand the meaning of family, and may not be ready to accept a new family. Additionally family may not be as meaningful to Fren as it was to Yuria. Nevertheless, because it was Fren, Yuria wanted to be his family. She wanted him to know what a family is, and what you can do, experience, and feel as part of a good family. It could not completely erase Fren’s anxiety, but it would be able to bring value and specialness to each other. It could be possible to define their new relationship as a more affectionate and close bond, rather than two people without any shared blood living together as they are now. Because their current relationship had such incompleteness it could be broken at any time.
“…Family?” Fren tilted his head slightly. He didn’t know what family was. Thus he couldn’t understand what Yuria was trying to say.
“Yeah, from now on I’ll be Fren’s mom.”
A suitable family relationship between Fren and herself was of mother and child. Yuria wanted to become Fren’s mom, and love and cherish him endlessly. She wanted to give him the love she wanted to receive as a child, and the emotions she imagined would be reciprocated. She wanted to give him an affection that was infinitely warm and full of consideration for the other person, rather than a love full of wounds. Perhaps, like him, Yuria was trying to relieve her immense longing. Even so, it did not change or diminish her feelings for Fren.
“…Mom?” The word reminded him of his mother’s cold body he had seen the moment he was born, but Yuria and ‘that’ were not the same. Fren tilted his head again, still confused.
“When I become Fren’s mom, we will become a family. Family is always together; you will always be by my side and a family never abandons each other.”
She wouldn’t throw him away.
Before I came to this world, I had a family that only hurt me in Korea, but no matter how much pain they gave I was still in pain hearing of their deaths. No matter how hard I tried to cut them off, I couldn’t. In the end, I had to stay like that, without throwing them away or holding them completely. Only with their death was I finally able to let go. Others might say I was foolish and clingy. No matter how important your family is, why would you stay if there is only suffering? Shouldn’t you live on your own? That was why I distanced myself, but my family was the reason I chose to survive and those roots were deeply ingrained within.
Yuria didn’t want to leave Fren with memories like her’s. She wanted to make him feel the warmth of a family that she did not receive. She, who was wounded by the invisible knives in an imperfect family, wanted to become a proper family to Fren.
“…When we become a family Yuri won’t throw Fren away? You’ll stay with me?” Fren looked at Yuria with bright eyes full of hope.
“That’s right, but even if we don’t become a family, I’ll always be by your side.” Yuria said cautiously, wondering if the idea of becoming a family might feel like another coercion to him.
“Then I’ll be… Yuri’s family, I want to be Yuri’s son.” Fren said, desperately hugging Yuri as if she was his last rope, and he would fall off and die if he let her go. Fren’s eyes contained vast and deep indescribable emotions. He conveyed his heart throughout his body.
“Okay, from today on, Fren is my son. You can call me mom. Of course, you can also just keep calling me Yuri as you do now.”
A title doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that Fren and I are a family.
“Yuri, Fren’s mom. We, family.” Fren, who whispered quietly, gave her a bright smile. It was a deeper, more genuine smile than any he’d ever made before. Yuria could tell just by looking how happy Fren was seeing him smile. Fren’s expressionless face was lovely, but it couldn’t be compared with his smiling face. His smiling face was more radiant and lovely than any fairy or blessing.
“Let’s go in, Fren. It’s cold outside.”
Fren had come out in the freezing cold without even wearing a proper coat or shoes. Yuria held Fren tightly in her arms to protect him from the cold, so as not to let any small ordeal or pain touch him. Thus, the child quietly returned home in her arms.
That day, Yuria and Fren fell asleep, leaving the tree outside the house. There was a lot of work to be done, but for now, she had to be by Fren’s side.
The next day, Yuria prepared breakfast as soon as she woke up, afterwards, she immediately went outside to chop firewood. The tree was exactly where she’d left it yesterday. While Yuria was chopping wood, Fren sat on a chair in front of the window inside the house and looked at her through the window. He didn’t want to leave her even for a moment, so he chased after her and tried to go outside too, but was forced to return with a gloomy expression after hearing it was too cold for him. However, as she said that he could look at her through the window instead, Fren sat in a chair and looked at Yuria, swinging his feet. His eyes sparkled more than ever as he stared at her. Fren’s energy, which had been secretly hidden, was gradually revealing itself around Yuria.
Yuria skillfully cut the tree into equal parts lengthwise, and split those until all pieces were a reasonable size. The whole process took about an hour to finish due to the tree’s enormous size, yet the work was still not over.
How much time has passed? Fren wondered as he cautiously hopped off the chair. It wasn’t boring watching Yuria. To Fren, who was amazed by everything related to Yuria, seeing her chopping wood with her tiny frame was the funniest and most surprising thing in the world. He just wanted to help her, since she looked a little tired from the continuous chopping of wood. Although she had no sweat, Fren’s sensitive ears noticed that her breathing sounded a bit rough.
“Fren?” Yuria, who was absorbed in her woodchopping, noticed the child and made a puzzled expression.
“…Me too.”
Yuria replied immediately, “No. It’s dangerous.”
“Yuri tired, me too.”
“I’m not tired at all,” Yuria refuted.
At Yuria’s words, Fren made a small gesture, as if asking her to bend down. Seeing his gesture she calmly kneeled down to the child’s height. Fren stretched his fern-like hand, and laid it over top of Yuria’s heart.
“Thump, thump.”
“…My heart is supposed to beat like that.”
“No. It should bump, bump, but now it’s thump, thump. Yuri tired.” Fren’s expression was very determined. Hearing this, Yuria’s expression became slightly troubled.
She could understand Fren’s feelings, but she couldn’t put an ax in young Fren’s palms and ask him to chop the firewood. However, ignoring Fren’s sincerity would hurt him.
“Then… Can you help me move the firewood to the warehouse next door?” Even if an ax was dangerous, it would be okay to carry the shredded firewood. In fact, she was still anxious, but she couldn’t help but be shaken by Fren’s shrewd eyes.
“…I can do it.”
Fren wanted to help Yuria with what she was doing, but she seemed unwilling to entrust him with such a task. Fren, wishing to listen to Yuria as much as possible, nodded and held the firewood in his arms. Even though he had only picked up three or four logs at most, his arms were full. The logs proved too big for Fren, covering his face; however, he took small steps and managed to make it to the warehouse. Thus, Fren helped Yuria by moving the firewood to the warehouse. How many times did Fren go to and from the storage with wood? The long wood chopping was over.
“Let’s do it together now,” Yuria suggested.
“Yuri, rest.”
“I want to rest together with Fren.”
Fren, who fell for the word “together,” nodded. Yuria smiled at his reply, picked up a pile of firewood, and held it in her arms. Following her, Fren also picked up a new batch of firewood. However, Fren alternately looked at the firewood Yuria and he were holding, consequently, Fren’s head frantically moved from one side to the other.
“Fren?” Yuria looked at Fren, worried that his neck might hurt later.
“…Weird.” Fren, who stopped moving his head back and forth, tilted it.
“What’s weird?” Yuria asked in a friendly voice.
“Yuri, weak. Fren strong.”
Because she was scared of those people, he killed them in an instant. Compared to him, who was fine then, Yuria trembled with fear and was in pain.
“…That’s not…”
Of course, when considering Fren’s abilities, she couldn’t say she was stronger than him. However, in Yuria’s eyes, Fren was an unmistakable young and weak child she needed to protect.
“But then Yuri’s are too~ many and Fren a little.”
Obviously, because he was strong, he thought he should be able to move more firewood than Yuria, but it was actually Yuria who held more. Fren didn’t understand how such a thing was possible.
“It’s not because I’m strong.” Yuria, who understood Fren’s words, replied with a smile as if thinking he was cute.
“…?” Fren looked at Yuria, his face full of question marks.
“It’s because Fren is small.”
At Yuria’s words, Fren had a sullen expression on his face. As she said, it was true that he was smaller than her, but somehow, he didn’t like it. To be precise, he didn’t like the expression ‘small.’
So Fren replied in a rather grumpy voice, “Fren not small.”
“But Fren only reaches this high?”
Fren’s height came up to Yuria’s waist, who was shorter than other women. Even from a four-year-old’s perspective, she was considered small. At Yuria’s words, Fren rose to his tiptoed with a dissatisfied expression. Yet, he only reached a little bit above her waist.
Fren bit his lips tightly and shouted, “Fren not small. I’m not!”
Fren’s expression became gloomy, with his mouth tightly shut and pouted.
“Of course, you’re right. You’re small because you’re still young but you’ll grow quickly.”
When you become an adult later, you’ll be tall enough that I’ll have to look up Fren was depicted in the novel as a very tall, handsome man.
“Grow?”
“That’s right. Later, Fren will be much bigger than me.”
At Yuria’s words, Fren smiled brightly. He was glad she said he would be bigger than her, not just because of his current height but because he wanted to become taller and stronger than he was now, to protect Yuria. If he was bigger, then he would be stronger.
It was an idea he could have because he was still young.
That night, while Yuria and Fren were sleeping soundly, an unknown guest snuck into their house.
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